Welcome!

• Let me introduce myself

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Big Ideas for Today

• Identify signs and symptoms of depression and anxiety.
• Explore how your child’s emotions impact their brain.
• Discuss strategies for creating emotional connections with your children in the midst of their suffering.
• Discover how being attuned to your child’s emotions can impact the dynamic of your parent-child relationship

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Teen

Depression

What is Depression?

• Characterized by persistent feelings of sadness and loss of interest/pleasure in activities usually enjoyable.
• Clinical Depression Symptoms will include persistent feelings of sadness and hopelessness for at least two weeks. Signs and symptoms include:

• Constantly feeling sad
• Irritability
• Feelings of guilt
• Feelings of hopelessness
• Social withdrawal
• Decline in school performance

• Sleeping too much or too little
• Changes in weight or appetite
• Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities
• Self-harm
• Suicidal thoughts
• Headaches/stomach pain

Confusing Symptoms of Depression

• Normal teenage development includes emotional and behavioral changes.
• Gaining independence which may include some withdrawal
• Sleep increase: Sleeping in on weekends vs. chronic fatigue
• Sadness or hopelessness disguised as anger.
• Nasty sarcasm, big annoyance at trivial provocation
• Interests gradually changing vs. complete or sudden loss.
• Insecurities vs. constant negative self talk or feelings of worthlessness.
• The key to differentiating “typical teenage behavior” is that it will be accompanied by the signs and symptoms on the previous slide.

Don’t hesitate if…

• Self-Harm
• Suicidal thoughts
• Passive suicidal ideation:
• “I wish I was never born.”
• “I wish I could disappear.”
• “My family would be better off without me.”
• “I hope I don’t wake up in the morning.”
• “I wish someone would crash into my car.”
• Create a safe place for open communication with your child and a safety plan if necessary.

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Teen

Anxiety

What is Anxiety?

• “An emotion characterized by feelings or worried thoughts, and physical changes like increased blood pressure,” (American Psychological Association, 2022).
• Anxiety signs and symptoms include:

• Racing thoughts
• Overthinking
• Negative thought loops
• Feeling of impending doom
• Sadness
• Difficulty concentrating
• Irritability
• Restless or jumpy

• Difficulty sleeping
• Headaches
• Nausea, stomach pain, loss of appetite
• Numbness/tingling
• Isolation/withdrawal
• Perfectionism
• Easily fatigued
• Indecisiveness

Types of Anxiety

• Generalized Anxiety Disorder
• Most common type of anxiety related disorder.
• Source of worry can change and can cover a variety of aspects in life.
• Persistent worry and anxiety for more days than not over the course of 6 months.
• Difficulty controlling/managing anxiety.
• Social Anxiety
• Extreme fear of being humiliated, embarrassed, judged, or criticized in social situations. Tend to avoid most trigger opportunities.

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Types of Anxiety

• Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
• Interferes with daily tasks due to thoughts that feel impossible to control. Behaviors are an attempt to alleviate the anxiety that comes with the thoughts.

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• Panic Disorder
• Persistent and unexpected panic attacks.

Panic Attack vs. Anxiety Attack

• Panic Attack
• Body’s survival mode is overactive resulting in a flight-or-fight response without a potential threat. Usually come out of nowhere without direct cause.
• Physical symptoms may include: rapid or irregular heartbeat, nausea, hot flashes or chills, lightheadedness, shaking, numbness, chest pain, stomach pain, difficulty breathing.
• Can feel like you are dying.
• Disruptive in nature and therefore produces a more intense response.
• Panic attacks can subside just as fast as they come on.

Panic Attack vs. Anxiety Attack

• Anxiety Attack
• Similar physical symptoms as a panic attack but usually caused by a response to specific stressors.
• Anxiety may gradually build where a panic attack occurs unexpectedly.
• Characterized by intrusive & racing thoughts.
• Typically not as intense as a panic attack and often have identifiable triggers.
• Can last hours or days.
• Can develop into a panic attack.

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What’s happening in the brain?

From the Brain to Your Relationship

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Parenting from Love

• Our fears can influence our parenting styles and/or responses.
• Your own stress levels impact your response to your child.
• Response vs. Reaction
• As parents, we have a role in modeling self-regulation.
• What is the emotion underlying your frustration or anger in the moment?
• Your approach can unintentionally trigger the survival part of the brain.

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4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

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1 Corinthians 13

Attending to our child’s emotional world is a building block for a strong relationship.

• Emotions indicate a request for what we need.
• Feelings invite us to pay attention with compassion and curiosity.
• Connecting with your child’s emotions can inform you of their needs.
• Attention to feelings and thoughts builds trust.
• Teens need their parent’s help to make sense of strong emotions.

What our emotions say about what we need:

Lonely

Angry

Anxious

Sad

Overwhelmed

Connection

Understood

Safety

Comfort

Rest

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Power of Connection

• We are hardwired for connection.

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• Ephesians 4:2- “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
• Galatians 6:2- “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
• Romans 12:4-5 -Body of Christ

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• Show up for your kids. What’s important to them? Prioritize what’s meaningful to them- this builds trust.
• Be present.

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Connect & Redirect

• Logic often won’t respond until we engage with the emotional needs. Research says our brains are wired to respond to love and empathy, even in distress.
• Connect your right brain to their right brain.
• Connect: acknowledge emotion, physical touch, empathetic facial expression, nurturing tone, and nonjudgemental voice.
• The body can take some time to reenter the window of tolerance.
• Once regulation happens, then you can redirect to the left side of the brain for logical processing.

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“Holy Spirit, increase my emotional attunement to my child.

Give me the strategy and discernment for what they need in this moment.”

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PRAYER

Identifying Emotions:

Name it to Tame It

• Research shows that naming our emotions is soothing, regulating and the quickest path to healing.
• Don’t dismiss or minimize: “Don’t worry, you’re fine,” or “you just need to pray more.”
• Retell the story
• When we do this and label what we feel, literally our brain calms down because it calms the emotional circuitry in our brains and allows our child to calm down and feel more in control.

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Resources

• Dial 988 for Suicide Hotline

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• NAMI OC Warmline 714-991-6412

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• CHOC Hospital Psychiatric Care

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• How We Feel app

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• Headspace

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• 504 Education Plans

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Contact Me

Mytherapistapril@gmail.com

949-791-7210

How do you feel seen and connected to others?

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What might your child need more of from you to feel connected?

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How do you want your child to view and experience God in their suffering?

What is one thing you heard today that you want to apply this week with your teen?

Reflection Questions

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