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The Conversation Continues:

What Does It Mean

to be an Ally?

Dr. Rodney Glasgow

Head of School, Sandy Spring Friends School

President, The Glasgow Group

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Four Agreements -

Courage Conversations, Glenn Singleton

�Stay engaged.

Experience discomfort.

Speak your truth.

Expect and accept non-closure.

What would you:

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  • You see a kid eating Corn Pops and playing these games on the back of the box. What do you do?

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  • The kid’s parent says “It’s just cereal! Let my kid be a kid. You’re overreacting.” What do you do?

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BYSTANDER

Observes passively

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ALLY

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Supports individuals and groups in their work or to resolve their issue

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The 5 D’s of Bystander Intervention - Moving to Allyship

https://righttobe.org/guides/bystander-intervention-training/

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Your scenarios?

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Allyship is not the highest form of the work!

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Pitfalls to Allyship

  • Fear of mistakes
  • Lack of knowledge
  • Savior mentality
  • Not willing to risk your privilege, power, safety, or relationships

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Responding to Behavior - Break In!

Breathe - Catch your own emotion first, and then inquire: “I’m wondering where those words or actions came from.”

Respond - Let them know how it landed and how you’re feeling; ask them how the other person might be feeling.

Educate - Tell them why it made you (or the other person) feel that way; name the identity and stereotypes at play.

Acknowledge - Hold space for their lack of knowledge and their intent while holding them accountable for their impact.

Know now; do differently - Set the expectation moving forward.

Intent versus Impact - Remind them to focus more on their impact - considering that first, before their intentions. Intentions are explanations but not excuses.

Never done - Check in with them and others; be prepared for the next time

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Allies respond in the moment. They don’t wait until after the incident to ask if you’re okay.

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Allies believe us when we tell them we were targeted or treated unfairly.

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Allies don’t just jump in front of us. They stand behind us and beside us. They empower us to solve our own issues.

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Allies don’t always ask us to teach them. They take time on their own to learn about others’ experiences.

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Allies don’t wait until something happens to give us their support. They support us every day by showing us that they see us, hear us, and are here for us.

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Exit Ticket: Which D are you going to try this week for a scenario happening in your life?