TELLING A NEW STORY: NEW EXPERIENCES WITH �SHAME & GUILT USING�NARRATIVE THERAPY

Diedre L. Wade, PhD, LPCC-S (KY), LMHC (FL)

Louisville, KY

Stories

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” �--- Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

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“After nourishment, shelter, and companionship, stories are the thing we need most in the world.”

---Phillip Pullman

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“There’s always room for a story that can transport people to another place.”

---J.K. Rowling

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Story Telling in Africa

Songs

Chants

Proverbs

Sayings

Body language

Every community & family can have a story.

Story Telling in Africa

Teaches

Morals

Education

Illustrates

Enlightens

Informs

Stimulates

Inspires

What is Narrative Therapy?

• The client is the expert.
• The therapist is curious and asks lots of questions.
• Problems are separated from the client, using many descriptions.
• No direction is needed in the conversation between client and therapist.
• If one is chosen, the client determines direction of conversation.

(Morgan, 2000)

What is Narrative Therapy? cont.

• Focus on strengths of the client.
• Issues are portrayed in story format, in order to create a new storyline that the client can respect and live with.
• The therapist utilizes therapeutic documentation to solidify progress.
• The therapist is curious and focuses on collaboration rather than the giver of advice or all knowing of how the client should change.

What is Narrative Therapy? cont.

• Looks at the problem for how it serves the client rather than harms
• Does not seek to transform the client but to transform the effects of the problem
• Empowers and does not label the client as the dx
• Helps clients identify their values & skills
• Therapist helps the client obtain the knowledge they need to use their skills to live out these values

Narrative Therapy

• We will discuss some of the main interventions used in Narrative Therapy and how they can be applied to counseling in general and specifically with Shame and Guilt.

History of Narrative Therapy https://dulwichcentre.com.au/

• Developed by Michael White (of Australia) and David Epston (of New Zealand) in the 1970’s and 1980’s

Telling the Stories We Tell

• Narrative Therapy is also known as “re-authoring or

“re-storying”.

• Stories consist of
• Events
• Linked in sequence
• Across time
• According to a plot

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Telling the Stories We Tell

• “We can’t always change the stories that others have about us, [but] we can influence stories we tell about ourselves and those we care about” (Denborough, 2014, p.3).

Plot of Life Stories: “I’m guilty”

• X X X X X X

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• X X X X X

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• X X X X X

Plot of Life Stories: “My relationship with husband is going well”

• X X X X

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• X X X X

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• X X X

Plot of Life Stories cont.

• The same person and even the same time frame at times, but two very different plots of this person’s story, known as “intertwining” or “multistoried”.
• Negative dominant plots (“I’m guilty”) can often overshadow the positive plots (“My relationship with my husband is going well”).
• We often live our lives based on our dominant plots.

Dominant Stories

• Anything can change the dominant plot. This individual could begin to think differently about herself and the Guilt. The relationship plot could be changed if the individual finds out her husband has been lying to her or if she feels like they are growing apart. Many factors can change the course of the plot.
• Contexts can contribute, such as gender, class, culture, etc., to form beliefs & ideas about oneself. A predominantly male dominated household would contribute to how a female in the home thinks of herself. Morgan et al., 2011

Stories Others Tell About Us

• Stories others tell us about ourselves can be created in childhood, often stemming back generations.
• For example, once someone begins the road of addiction, they are often categorized by others as:
• “A drunk”
• “A junkie”
• “An addict”
• “you come from a long line of drinkers”

Thin Descriptions

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• Therapists often hear stories about client’s problems and the meanings the clients have formed about them. “I’m dumb…I can’t do anything right”.

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• These meanings often are considered the “thin descriptions”. Others (oftentimes authority figures) form meanings about issues of others. This does not allow for new meanings to be formed.

Thin Descriptions cont.

• These descriptions have significant consequences:
• “You’ll never pass math…you’ll never get into college” forms the idea “I’m dumb…I can’t do anything right”.
• “All addicts are liars and manipulators.”
• “You’re just a junkie.”
• “You’re a drunk just like your father.”
• “You did something terrible you are just bad.”

Impact of Stories

• Thin Descriptions put individuals in a place to gather evidence to form the dominant plot. The individual tells herself “I’m guilty” will be hyper aware of anything that could be used as evidence for the idea she is “guilty”.

Double Listening

• There are two versions for every story of trauma…one is of the Problem, abuse, assault, etc.
• One is a response using knowledge & skills.
• Hardships form resiliency.

Changing Headlines & New Stories

The therapist helps the client form new storylines and headlines. They help contrast the story.

This could be pointing out evidence to contribute to a story of strength rather than weakness.

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Scaffolding

• Before clients come to therapy, they have a “story” in their mind about what they are going through. Once they get into therapy, they enter the “zone of proximal development”, that is what might be possible for them to describe their stories and lives (White, 2007, p. 263; Ramey et al., 2010).
• Scaffolding is the method in which the client can move from one step to another in achieving the ability to tell a new story.

Thin vs. Rich & Thick Descriptions

• Rich & Thick Descriptions allows the individual to see the many facets of themselves to gather evidence she may not be “dumb”…”guilty”...etc.

Storytelling Rights

• Who has the authority to tell the individual’s story?
• Who should have the authority?
• “The stories of people’s lives are told through abusive, racist, sexist or homophobic lenses” (Denborough, 2014, p. 8).

Reclaiming Storytelling Rights

• Rewriting the stories of your identity requires the reclaiming of the storytelling rights.

Charter of Storytelling Rights

• Article 1: Everyone has the right to define their experiences and problems in their own words and terms.
• Article 2: Everyone has the right to have their life understood in the context of what they have been through and in the context of their relationship with others.
• (Denborough, 2014, p. 9)

Chapter of Storytelling Rights

• Article 3: Everyone has the right to invite others who are important to them to be involved in the process of reclaiming their life from the effects of hardship.
• Article 4: Everyone has the right not to have problems caused by trauma and injustice located inside them, internally, as if there were some deficit in them. The person is not the problem, the problem is the problem.
• (Denborough, 2014, p. 9)

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Chapter of Storytelling Rights

• Article 5: Everyone has the right to have their responses to hard times acknowledged. No one is a passive recipient of hardship. People always respond. People always protest injustice.
• Article 6: Everyone has the right to have their skills and knowledge of survival respected, honored and acknowledged.
• (Denborough, 2014, p. 9)

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Chapter of Storytelling Rights

• Article 7: Everyone has the right to know and experience what they have learned through hard times can make a contribution to the lives of others in similar situations.
• (Denborough, 2014, p. 9)

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What do these have in common?

I’m Bipolar. I’m useless.

Sally’s depressed. He’s a hothead.

Bill’s anxious. I’m not smart enough.

She’s so OCD. Sara is codependent.

I’m a bad kid. Jamie is a convict.

Kelly is a drunk. I’m just an angry person.

He is schizophrenic. I’m just like my father.

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Internalizing the Problem

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“I’m a drunk”

Externalizing the Problem

The client is dealing with the Problem…they are not the Problem!

Alcohol

Externalizing the Problem cont.

• Sees problems as having a hx and affected by broader issues such as sexism, poverty & racism
• Gives the client more responsibility to fight the problem rather than fight themselves
• Refuses to label people, but instead targets problem
• Problems only occur & grow when supported by beliefs & ideas & habits.

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Working through the Problem

• “Putting the word ‘the’ before the problem automatically separates it from the person.”
• The Guilt
• The Depression
• The Drug Use
• The Self Harm
• The Doubt
• Morgan, 2000, p. 20

Investigate the Influence of Problem

• How long has The Guilt been affecting you?
• Do you have any other names you’d like to call this?
• The Guilt Monster
• When did The Guilt first come into your life?
• When is The Guilt most likely to visit?
• How do you know when The Guilt is really affecting you?

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Personifying the Problem

• Tricks Rules
• Tactics Purposes
• Ways of operating Desires
• Ways of speaking Motives
• Intentions Techniques
• Beliefs & ideas Dreams
• Plans Allies
• Likes & Dislikes Deceits or lies

(Morgan, 2000, p. 25)

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Investigate the Influence of Problem

• Explore the effects of the Problem:
• At home
• At work
• In your relationships
• On your identity: sense of self
• On your future, hopes and dreams
• Physical health

Mapping out History of Problem

The part of life taken up with Guilt The part of life separate from Guilt

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Yesterday:

___________________________+_______________________________________________________

Three weeks ago:

___________________+__________________________________________________________________

Two months ago:

_____________________________________________________________+________________________

One year ago:

_________________________________+____________________________________________________

Five years ago:

___________________+__________________________________________________________________

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Knowledge about The Problem

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THE GUILT

Evaluation of Problem’s Effects

• Do you want to be free from the Problem?
• Are the effects of the Problem positive, negative, or both?

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Ask Why

• Why do you want to change your relationship with The Problem?
• How would your life be different without the Problem around?

Unique Outcomes

• What are the times and places where The Guilt does not follow you or is not as strong?
• Good Narrative Therapy identifies unique outcomes: moments when the Problem is less present.
• Clients often do not notice when they have done things without the Problem present…examples?

Special Skills

• What is the name of a special skill, value or knowledge that gets you through difficult times?
• Tell me about a time when this made a difference to you or someone else?
• Who did you learn this from or from where?
• Pointing out these skills to the client allows them to realize they have some powerful tools when dealing with the Problem.

Letters & Problems

• In letter form, inform The Problem that you have learned its proper name and discovered some of the way it works. This short note acknowledges its existence and lets it know change is coming.
• Write a letter to someone else who may be also affected by The Problem: “insider knowledge”…this lets the other person know about your experience with The Problem (for example, The Guilt).

Narrative Theatre

• Therapist first interviews the client:
• How they portray The Problem
• How they have conquered The Problem

Lists

• The therapist helps the client create a list of ��“what helps me go forward”

(such as having time to think, selfcare, etc.)

“What takes me back”

(such as being around people who don’t make me feel good about myself, pushing when rest is needed, etc.)

Phototherapy & Drawings

• Over time there will be noticeable differences in the drawings or pictures shown

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Letters from the Therapist

The therapist can write a letter acknowledging the client’s progress in dealing with The Problem or summarizing the previous session. Can also be a short note in between sessions reminding of what client should be working on or just to build rapport.

Accomplishment Certificates

• When clients have successfully fought the Problem

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• This certificate is awarded to ______ in recognition of her victory over Guilt.

Tree of Life

• The Tree of Life is a great exercise to discuss histories, legacies, and traditions of belief systems.

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Tree of Life cont.

Can use a template or clients can draw their own to symbolize an actual tree in their history or currently.

• Apple Tree

Any parts of the tree can be added at any point in the process of creating this.

Roots: Where we come from

Country

Town or village

Culture

Language

Influential people in your life

The Ground: What we choose to do

• Regular activities you choose to do rather than forced to do
• Reading
• Spending time family or friends
• Listening to favorite music/songs
• Visiting favorite place
• Participating in sports/exercise
• Other hobbies

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The Trunk: What we value & skills

• Can be physical accomplishments or character traits such as kindness, generosity, dependability, honesty, etc.
• What would your best friend say about you?
• Where did you learn these skills or possibly receive these traits from?

The Branches: Our Horizons

• Hopes and dreams for yourself but also for community
• Some branches are shorter to represent shorter term goals and others to be longer for longer term goals
• How long have you had these dreams or goals?
• Where do you think these originated from?

Leaves of the Tree: Those who are significant to us (in positive way)

• Can be anyone including pets or invisible childhood friends
• These people can be alive or already passed away
• Write something that you remember or value about them

Fruits: Legacies passed on to us

• Can be physical gifts or contributions others have made to our lives

Flowers & Seeds: �Legacies we want to leave

• Represent gifts or contributions we wish to leave
• Could be things you never received or want to offer to someone else

Compost Heap

• Optional feature of the Tree of Life to put individuals or events that have caused harm
• “Compost heaps transform rotten stuff into rich and nourishing fertilizer for our lives” (Denbourough, 2014, p. 16).

Tree of Life summary

• Look over Tree of Life to see any possible connections or links to create a “storyline”.
• This storyline is about what is valuable, rather than a theme of Problems.
• If the client is struggling to find any positive storylines or positive material, they can be encouraged to enlist the help from a positive influence.

Is there a “Normal”?

• We oftentimes measure our worth against cultural expectations.
• Expectations list…
• Add any extras on the bottom applicable
• Note that these expectations do not include moral and ethical concerns (being kind, responsible, etc.)

Resigning from Normal

• Write down three expectations of normality you would like to “resign” from
• Certificates can be granted for this

��������Putting Narrative Therapy to Use

References

Angelou, A. (2009). I know why the caged bird sings. New York:

Random House Trade Paperbacks.

Denborough, D. (2014). Retelling the stories of our lives everyday

narrative therapy to draw inspiration and transform

experience. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, Inc.

Mays, J. (2016). You are the exclusive author of your story. Retrieved from

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-QYDFiWn-s

Morgan, A. (2000). What is narrative therapy? Adelaide: Dulwich

Centre Publications.

Morgan, M., Brosi,, W., Brosi, M. (2011). Restorying older adults’ narratives about self and substance abuse. The American Journal of

Family Therapy, 39, 444-455. doi: 10.1080/01926187.2011.560784

Ramey, H., Young, K., Tarulli, D. (2010). Scaffolding and concept formation in Narrative Therapy: A qualitative research report.

Journal of Systemic Therapies, 29(4), 74-91.

White M. (2007). Maps of narrative practice. New York: W.W.

Norton & Company, Inc.