THE PERSONAL STATEMENT

OBJECTIVES AND DISCLAIMERS

• Objectives: To give a basic “good start” to writing a personal statement for graduate school applications, internships, REUs, etc.,
• Disclaimer
• I am a Biology PhD
• I wrote personal statements for my PhD applications
• I wrote personal statements for my teaching jobs
• I wrote two successful REU personal statements for biology research
• I am not a medical professional – I’ve never applied to nursing, dental, medical school – My advice is probably a good ‘baseline’ but you really, really, really need to talk to your Pre-health office about “do’s and don’ts”

OUTLINE FOR TODAY

• What is a “Personal Statement”
• The three parts of a personal statement
• Writing mechanics
• The importance of customization
• Suggested timeline master’s and PhD applications, REU programs

​

"PERSONAL STATEMENT" IS A WEIRD AND SCARY TERM

• Sometimes called a “Statement of Purpose”
• What is a personal statement, really?
• A narrative (or story) about you – specifically in relationship to the opportunity you’re applying to
• Personal experiences that show why you’re interested and what you’ve done so far to build toward this opportunity
• An indication of your passions and priorities - have you thought critically about the issues related to the field?
• An invitation to take a closer look at you – it’s your chance to stand out

OPEN A WORD DOC AND ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS (YES, BEFORE STARTING TO WRITE A PERSONAL STATEMENT) – SOUL SEARCHING TIME. YOU’LL USE THIS LATER.

• Why do you want to pursue ________? Give specific answers. “I want to help people” is bad. 
• What personal experiences reinforced your reason?
• What are your career goals (this is often more specific)?
• What is a societal/ethical/philosophical question in your field you care deeply about? 
• What classes, research, volunteering, etc., align and reinforce your interest
• How have you learned about this field?
• What was something you learned in class that relates to ________ that sticks out to you? Don’t forget lab activities
• What personal challenges have you overcome?
• What personal characteristics make you well suited to the field – what specific anecdotes/experiences support those characteristics?
• What are the weaknesses of your application packet? Is there an upward trajectory that will help (weak first semester grades, improvement shown)
• Why do you think you might be a better candidate than others?

Don’t try to write an essay – just sit with these questions,

reflect deeply on them, and jot down some answers

THE GENERAL PERSONAL STATEMENT VERSUS THE CUSTOMIZED PERSONAL STATEMENT

• Step 1: Reflect on questions from last slide, answer them in detail, have content ready to organize
• Step 2: Develop a Generalized Personal Statement that’s broadly suited to a purpose (Apply to graduate school, biology REUs, medical school, etc.,)
• Step 3: For each application, revise and customize application to that program – never submit the Generalized Personal Statement

Spend many hours making the Generalized Statement, spend 1-2 hours revising and customizing for each application

THE BASIC FORMAT OF A GENERALIZED PERSONAL STATEMENT

• 1-1.5 pages in length, single-spaced (shorter for ‘early-career’ things, longer for graduate school)
• Three paragraphs/parts
• Part 1: The story of you, personal experience(not clichéd hook), explanation of pre-college and early-college experiences that got you to this point, ends with statement of intent with support
• Part 2: Experiences you’ve had in the immediate past (typically during college) that reinforce your statement of intent with support
• Part 3: How this opportunity aligns with your career goals, how it will impact your 5-year plan, 10-year plan, 20-year plan, etc., How you can contribute to the community. Close the loop of your narrative arc. Restate your intent.
• Each of these parts will gain customization, but Part 3 gets the most customized.

PART 1 – STATEMENT OF INTEREST AND HOW YOU GOT HERE

• The first sentence should never be the following:
• “From a young age, I have always been interested in…”
• “For as long as I can remember I have”
• “I am applying for ________ because”
• “Throughout my life, I have always been….”
• Never use a quote by a famous person
• PASSIVE, BORING, OVERUSED.
• Avoid “hooks”
• A quote
• A joke
• Trying to be clever/controversial
• All of these draw away from your story/narrative
• Opening statement strategy - Tying to an experience is great, but go with a more recent experience
• “Peering at the clear, bright bands on my electrophoresis gel with overwhelming satisfaction, I realized that I wanted to be a molecular biologist.” is better than “Even as a kid I loved visiting research labs.”
• “While it would have been monotonous to many other students, I loved volunteering at the senior center and listening to the residents talk about their lives.” is better than “I have always loved helping the elderly”

​

​

PART 1 – STATEMENT OF INTEREST AND HOW YOU GOT HERE

• From your “more recent experience”, you can elaborate on your past to show how you got to this point
• Except for the “opening experience”, you’re going to save the most relevant and most recent experiences for the second part
• Part 1 is where you should
• Depict Life experiences that impacted you deeply
• Show a journey leading up to your statement of intent with support
• End with the statement of intent with support – almost like a thesis – broadly outline the answer to “Why do you want to become a _________ and what makes you think you’ve prepared for this opportunity?” -> If this needs to be two sentences to make sense (“Why I want to become a ________” and “what have I done to prepare so far” that’s fine at this stage)
• These statement of intent with support will be elaborated in Part 2 and Part 3

​

​

STATEMENTS OF INTENT AND SUPPORT

• The last sentence of Part 1 acts like a thesis – sets up the organization of Part 2 and 3
• Some readers might only read the first paragraph, so it’s good to have a strong summary statement at the end of Part 1 to keep them engaged/give them an overview
• Can break into two sentences -
• Why do you want to become a __________ -> this will be elaborated on in Part 3 – “the future of you”
• What have you done already that shows you know what you’re getting into, have explored the field in depth, have started learning already
• This is why it’s important to take advanced courses that force you to read the literature, start a journal club, shadow, volunteer, get clinical exposure, join a research lab as early as possible – they give you something to write about in Part 2. They show that you’re not just entering this field on a whim, you’ve gained some experiences
• I recommend organizing your ___________, _____________, and ____________ in chronological order to reinforce “the story of you” – stories make more sense this way!

​

PART 1 ROUGH FORMAT

[Recent experience to draw reader in] [Earlier life experiences that led you to this decision] [Decisions/Experiences that bring us closer to the present – why you chose your major or began this concentration?] [Experience that brings us to your decision to become a __________][Start answering the question “Why do you want to be a _______”] [Statement of Intent with support that acts as a ‘guiding outline’/thesis for Part 2 and 3]

Part 1 is not the longest part of your Personal Statement – Part 2 should be longest, Part 3 the second-longest

MASSIVE WRITER’S BLOCK FOR PART 1? THAT’S OK – GO TO PART 2!

• Skip most of Paragraph 1, but at least develop a “working statement of intent “(Thing 1), (Thing 2), and (Thing 3) support my goal to become a __________”
• “A history of volunteering with the elderly, studying neurocognitive declines in my advanced courses, and assisting in psychiatry research have started me on the path to become a neurosurgeon” – not a perfect statement of intent, but enough to get you started! (Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good at this stage – you’re just looking for organization) 
• “By taking advanced entomology courses, contributing to field studies, and developing my own ecological survey work, I have started building a career as an entomologist” 

WRITING PART 2

• Follow the order of your working “Statement of intent with purpose” and SHOW (don’t tell) how those experiences support your statement
• “I have taken advanced coursework in human health and found it interesting” is BAD AND VAGUE
• “Courses like physiology and abnormal psychology exposed me to everything that can can go wrong in the human brain – I became deeply invested in learning about neurocognitive decline in aging populations” is BETTER
• “I decided to volunteer in senior care homes to learn more about the elderly” is BAD AND VAGUE
• “Volunteering at Bethpage Care for eight months exposed me to the challenges of working with elderly populations. I needed to develop engagement activities, and I quickly learned that there was a gap between what I had read about in my textbooks and what I experienced as I dealt with confused (and sometimes angry) patients.

WRITING PART 2

• Follow the order of your working “Statement of intent with purpose” and SHOW (don’t tell) how those experiences support your statement
• “After taking BIO131, I was exposed to the different types of animals and found insects the most interesting” is BAD AND VAGUE
• “While covering animal diversity in my introductory biology course, I was shocked to learn that nearly 70 percent of animal species are insects! Suddenly, tiny organisms that I typically ignored became the dominant form of animal life on the planet. How could I not want to study them?” 

WRITING PART 2

• Think about every sentence you write – does it….
• Support your statement of intent with support
• Does it SHOW instead of TELL?
• “Show don’t tell” is an essential rule in writing. For personal statements, interpret this rule as “Don’t make a vague statement about yourself without some specific detail, anecdote, memory, or experience to BACK IT UP”
• Make logical sense in the order of your narrative arc/story?
• Remember, the personal statement is the “story of you!”

POSSIBLE PANIC MOMENT

• “uh oh, I don’t have anything to write about for Part 2”
• For REUs: It’s OK to use classroom lab experiences, books you’ve read, specific lectures, etc., but it’s better if you have some research experience
• For Graduate schools and pre-health – YOU NEED OUT OF CLASSROOM EXPERIENCES
• STEM graduate school: Absolutely need research, internships, etc., either on campus or off campus
• Pre-Health talk to your Pre-Health office!

THE BASIC FORMAT OF A GENERALIZED PERSONAL STATEMENT

• Three paragraphs/parts
• Part 1: The story of you, personal experience(not clichéd hook), explanation of pre-college and early-college experiences that got you to this point, ends with statement of intent with support
• Part 2: Experiences you’ve had in the immediate past (typically during college) that reinforce your statement of intent with support
• Part 3: How this opportunity aligns with your career goals, how it will impact your 5-year plan, 10-year plan, 20-year plan, etc., How you can contribute to the community. Close the loop of your narrative arc. Restate your intent.
• Each of these parts will gain customization, but Part 3 gets the most customized.

WRITING PART 3

• Convince the reader that getting your master’s, your PhD, going to an REU, or going to medical school is a necessary next step in your journey
• For REUs and master’s degrees – I like to remind readers that you come from an undergraduate-focused institution with relatively little research opportunity = attending an REU or master’s degree at an Research 1 institute will provide you with the research experience you’ve been missing 
• For PhD and other professional schools, I would remind them that you’ve started working towards your goals but need more experience

WRITING PART THREE

• Show how you’ll be a great participant in this program
• What personality skills do you have? Make sure to show, don’t tell – “I am hardworking” is BAD AND VAGUE. How can you say this with more specificity?
• How do the experiences in Part 2 create a cohesive package?

WRITING PART 3

• Give the readers an idea of your 1-year plan, 5-year plan, and 10-year plan. Show them that you’re thinking about
• How you’ll contribute to the REU/Grad Program/Medical school as a student
• What specific specialty you’ll pursue once you complete the program
• How you see yourself contributing to the community of researchers/doctors/professionals
• Back all of these up with specific details
• Tie it back to the start – narratives that loop back to the beginning are satisfying to read!

WRITING MECHANICS

• Give yourself time to write a personal statement and go through the revision process – ideally weeks
• Start with my "soul searching" questions before writing formally
• Get your first draft down on paper and then pick through it
• Most important: Does the personal statement clearly answer “Why do you want to be a ________?”, “What experience have you already gained to become a ________?”, and “What will you do once you’re a _______?”
• Read the entire thing out loud, slowly, as if giving a speech – does it make sense? Is the wording strange? Are you following basic grammar rules?
• Read the entire thing in your head, slowly, as if reading a difficult text. Does every sentence have purpose? Are any sentences vague or redundant? Can it be worded more efficiently? Are you using active or passive language? Can you be more concise while still maintaining ‘voice’?
• GO to the writing center and get professionals to pick it over
• Bring it to trusted professors and advisors that have experience
• Be prepared for the Red Ink

THE IMPORTANCE OF CUSTOMIZATION

• We just went through the Generalized Personal Statement
• You MUST customize each personal statement per application, never submit the same Personal Statement twice!
• Exception: Application cycles that have a primary essay that is purposely sent to many schools, and then you do specific secondary essays for schools that are interested in you (Medical schools)
• But for REUs, SURPS, summer internships, volunteering opportunities, STEM graduate programs where you apply individually to schools – customize, customize, customize

THE PURPOSE OF CUSTOMIZATION

• Show the program you know what they’re about and you’ve done your research
• REUs: You’ve examined the list of projects/people and have chosen ones that best align with your interests
• Graduate schools: The specific research that is conducted at that department aligns with your interests
• Show the program you want to go there and the experience will further your goals
• Is there a specific research facility at that program? A specific research lab? A specific PI you want to work with?

​

​

WHERE AND HOW TO CUSTOMIZE

• Part One -> Work your customization into your statement of intent with support
• “After an undergraduate career that has included advanced taxonomy courses, independent fieldwork, and presentations at national conferences, completing a PhD at the University of Florida is my next step in becoming an entomologist.”
• Part Two -> Relate your recent experiences to the work you’ll do in at that specific lab/program/school
• “In my undergraduate research, I studied how bee diversity varied throughout Long Island and gained a deep understanding of interspecific variation. This taxonomic training will help me to understand similar diversity ranges at the University of Colorado in the Frankel lab”
• Part Three -> Has the most customization!

ACTUAL EXAMPLES FROM 2023 REU

• "Prepare personal statement - Describe your overall career goals and specific research interests. Describe your motivations for pursuing this research opportunity and how you feel it will help you further your academic and professional goals. (5,000 character max)" 
• "a personal statement (two pages max).  In your personal statement, please discuss your research interests and experience, background in computing/math/biology, involvement in community and leadership activities, career goals, and your specific interest in the BU BRITE REU.  Feel free to list specific REU projects that interest you."
• Write a word file with the following information in 250 words or less: 
• How will this research experience help you to meet your education goals
• Describe your previous experience and/or personal strengths that would benefit a research team
• Explain your potential interest in working on a project related to the plasticity of cells, organisms, and communities
• What faculty (mention three) would you like to work with and why
• Is there anything else you would like to tell us about yourself and/or your interests 

​

A PERSONAL STATEMENT SPLIT INTO MULTIPLE QUESTIONS

• 1.    Which Coastal Ecosystems research area(s)/topic(s) would most interest you? Please indicate if you have a preferred faculty research mentor and briefly explain your choice. (Limit 250 words).See https://environment.fiu.edu/opportunities/coastal-ecosystems-reu-site/index.html for more information on potential and past projects).
• 2.    Briefly describe your post-graduation career/education goals. (Limit 250 words).
• 3.    Briefly explain how participation in the Coastal Ecosystems REU Site program would assist you in advancing toward your career goals. (Limit 250 words).
• 4.    Briefly describe any previous research or other relevant experience that qualify you to pursue this research fellowship opportunity (Limit 250 words).

​

A PERSONAL STATEMENT SPLIT INTO MULTIPLE QUESTIONS

• "Describe your academic goals." Mention your current study area and future plans (300 words max).
• "Past Research Experiences." Provide information on any research or work experiences you have (300 words max).
• "How will our program help you advance your career goals?" (300 words max).
• Which is your prefer area of study? (multiple choice question)

​

​

SUGGESTED TIMELINE

• Summer 2023 REU/internship applications – applications are due in January – March 
• Start answering soul-searching questions and reflecting
• Research summer internship programs – join our working group
• Aim to write a first draft of Generalized Personal Statement over just after finals 
• Go through editing process after New Year's and send Generalized Personal Statement to letter writers 
• Customize for specific applications
• Edit customized drafts (always edit after changing things!) before submitting

SUGGESTED TIMELINE

• Upcoming Masters and PhD application cycle - applications are due in December (usually)
• Start answering questions and reflecting
• If you are in a field where you are expected to contact the PI before applications, do that NOW. Not sure if your field requires that? Ask a prof in that area.
• Aim to write a first draft of Generalized Personal Statement in the first half of the summer
• Go through editing process in the second half of the summer -> send to your letter writers at the start of the Fall semester
• Customize for specific applications in first half of Fall semester (by Halloween!)
• Edit customized drafts (always edit after changing things!) before submitting