UHV-I�Session 10����Fulfilment in Relationship – Respect
Shifting from differentiation to complementarity…
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Prepared by NC-UHV, AICTE in collaboration with UHV Foundation
All Rights Reserved
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Interaction Before Main Session
Hear from participants about their exploration from previous day(s)
Q&A
Place some expected conclusions, find out if they also came to these/similar conclusions
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Home Assignments
9.1. Note your behaviour throughout the day
List how many times you responded in your behaviour and how many times you reacted. Calculate the percentage of reaction and response in your behaviour.
9.2. Note any two situations where you reacted. Now explore to see what would have been your ‘response’ in those two situations everything else remaining the same.
9.3. Make a 3-5 member team and record on mobile a 1-3 minute skit about what you all understand about reaction-response
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UHV-I�Session 10����Fulfilment in Relationship – Respect
Shifting from differentiation to complementarity…
UHV Foundation (uhv.org.in)
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Introduction�
In previous sessions, we explored the feeling of trust
My natural acceptance (intention) is to be happy and make the other happy
The natural acceptance of the other is also the same
However, we both may be lacking in competence
So, we make a program with each other, essentially on the basis of our present level of competence, with trust on the natural acceptance (intention)
For this, it is essential to make right evaluation of our mutual competence – the competence of the other as well as my own competence
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Respect (lEeku)
Respect = Right Evaluation
lEeku ¾ le~ $ eku
lE;d~ ekiuk
Bhd Bhd vkadyu djuk
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On the Other Hand… Other Types of Evaluation… Common Mistakes
Over evaluation – to evaluate for more than what it is
vf/kewY;u vf/kd vkaadyu djuk
Under evaluation – to evaluate for less than what it is
voewY;u de vkaadyu djuk
Otherwise evaluation – to evaluate for other than what it is
vewY;u vU;Fkk vkaadyu djuk
Not naturally acceptable. Whenever the evaluation is not right, it is disrespect
Do you feel comfortable/uncomfortable when you are over evaluated?� … under/otherwise evaluated?
Disrespect
vieku
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Common Implications of Disrespect
Ego (अहंकार)
Over evaluation – evaluating more than what it is
vf/kewY;u & vf/kd vkaadyu djuk
Under evaluation – evaluating less than what it is
voewY;u & de vkaadyu djuk
Depression (अवसाद)
Otherwise evaluation – evaluating other than what it is
vewY;u & vU;Fkk vkaadyu djuk
Right
Evaluation
lEeku
Self Confidence
स्वयं में विश्वास
Wrong evaluation…
Disharmony within
Tension
Frustration
Depression
Suicide...
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Minimum Content of Respect: The Other is Similar to Me
Our purpose is same (on the basis of Natural Acceptance)
Our program is same
Our potential is same
MINIMUM CONTENT of RESPECT
The Other is Similar to Me nwljk esjs tSlk gS
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Differences
There are similarities at the level of the self in terms of purpose, program and potential
There are also differences between one human being and another:
In living, are we:
A. Trying to accept the other as being similar to me?
or
B. Trying to show that we are different from the other?
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In place of doing right evaluation, we often differentiate on various grounds…
Differentiation = Disrespect
Not Naturally Acceptable… Opposition, Movements…
Hksn ¾ vieku
lgt Lohdk;Z ugha gksrk--- fojks/k--- vkUnksyu---
Differentiation may become a major concern in our imagination, which we would like to resolve
Verify: Are you also differentiating (or a victim of differentiation)?
Differentiation
Hksn
Body
“kjhj
Physical Facility
lqfo/kk
Beliefs
ekU;rk
Age
vk;q
Gender
fyax
Post
in
Wealth
/ku
Isms okn
Physical
Strength
cy
Race
oa”k
Sects
laiznk;
Info
lwpuk
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Resolution of Concern – Understanding Respect in Completeness
1. Purpose – Our purpose (Natural Acceptance) is same
2. Program – Our program is same
3. Potential – Our potential is same
The Other is Similar to Me
4. Competence – On the basis of right evaluation of our mutual competence, I recognise our complementarity and fulfill it:
If the other has more understanding, is more responsible than me
If I have more understanding, I am more responsible than the other
COMPLETE CONTENT of RESPECT
The Other is Similar to Me. We are complementary to each other
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Differentiation – with improper evaluation
Differentiation on the basis of
Differentiation often leads to
groupism, rivalry, fights…
With complete understanding of the feeling of respect, we will complement each other
There will be a major shift in focus, from
Complementarity – with right evaluation
In living, are we:
A. Trying to be complementary to the other?
or
B. Trying to show that we are different from the other?
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Sum Up
Respect = Right Evaluation (with a feeling of trust on intention)
Under evaluation, over evaluation or otherwise evaluation is disrespect
Differentiation is disrespect
Respect (on the basis of Self) – The other is like me, we are complementary to each other
The only difference is in our level of understanding
(how much of our imagination is on the basis of our Natural Acceptance)
If the other has more understanding, s(he) is more responsible than me
If I have more understanding, I am more responsible than the other
Note: The feeling can be universal, the expression can be different, based on local, cultural, geographical, social, family practices, etc.
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Home Assignment
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Home Assignments
10.1. Write down what would be the right evaluation of yourself. Mention any five points. Recall when you were over-, under-, otherwise evaluated in the past. How did you feel in each case? Share an example of each case.
10.2. How do you feel when the other differentiates in relationship with you? How do you feel when you differentiate, or try to show you are special, different? Share one or two incidents of these situations
10.3. What have you been able to explore regarding complementarity in your close relationships? Give one or two examples of how you can be complementary to a person from a different age, region, sect, belief, etc.
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Questions?
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