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Guide to supporting your LGBT+ child

(written by LGBT+ Rainbow Group)

SO YOUR CHILD IS LGBT+?

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First of all - congratulations! You are the proud parent of a fantastic young person. The best news is that they have been confident enough to tell you how they feel. You should be so proud of them for this - it can be a really challenging time for young people when they realise they are LGBT+. Telling you will have been a huge step for them and they clearly trust you. Well done to you all!

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WHAT SHOULD I DO?

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  • Listen to your child and believe them. Be kind. Show them that you love them.
  • Try to understand the LGBT+ community. The language can be quite confusing these days. Use Google or a trusted source to find out more (there are links to resources on the school website).
  • Celebrate your child’s identity. Show them that you understand that this is a positive part of their identity, not a negative one.
  • Allow your child to go at their own pace. Let them decide who to tell and when.
  • Remember that you’re not alone - speak to other families and parents of LGBT+ children.
  • Help them to find support - there may be local groups that you could take them to, or you could help them to use online services (like Proud Connections).
  • If your child is happy for you to do it, speak to their teachers at school. Teachers can be a good form of support.

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WHAT SHOULD I NOT DO?

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  • Don’t be angry or disappointed. It might be a surprise to you but it could be really hurtful to show this.
  • Don’t stereotype your child - there is not one way to be gay, or bi, or trans. Let your child show you who they are.
  • Don’t use hurtful or derogatory terms for the LGBT+ community.
  • Don’t tell everyone for your child, thinking that you are helping. Let them go at their own pace. This is their journey.
  • Don’t presume that if your child is non-binary or trans, that they will want to transition medically (have operations and hormones). They might not want to (lots of people don’t) so let them go at their own speed.
  • Don’t presume that life will be hard for your child because they are LGBT+. There may be challenges, but it is nothing that your fabulous child cannot overcome!