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Mean Girls? �Bullying, Back-Stabbing & Social Media

Aylssa Cowell

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What is Relational Aggression?

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Who holds the power in your schools?

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Queen

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Queen’s Council

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Queen’s Guard

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Subjects

Outsiders

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“The Queen” aka “The Dictator”

  • She sets the rules
  • Her friends do what she wants
  • Charming to adults
  • Not intimidated by other girls
  • Doesn’t take responsibility for hurting another's feelings
  • Loyalty is important & defines right and wrong based on this

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“The Side-Kick” or “Best-Friend”

  • Thinks the Queen is the authority
  • Allows herself to be pushed about by her
  • Will lie for her
  • Her power is gained from being close to the Queen.

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The Gossip

  • Extremely Secretive
  • Seems to be friends with everyone
  • Good Communicator – gives the impression of listening and being trustworthy
  • Seemingly nice but uses confidential information to improve her position
  • Seems harmless but in truth is intimidating
  • Rarely excluded from the group as knows too much

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The “Enforcers” or “Wannabes”

  • Other girls opinions & wants are more important than hers
  • Can’t tell the difference between what she wants and what the group wants
  • Desperate for the right “look”
  • Will do anything to be in the inner circle of the Queen & Sidekick so often gets stuck doing the dirty work & will enthusiastically support them
  • Loves to gossip – social media is incredibly important.

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The Bystander

  • Finds herself having to chose between friends
  • Accommodating
  • Peacemaker – just wants everyone to get along
  • Doesn’t stand up to anyone she has conflict with – goes along to get along.
  • Conflicted with doing the right thing and her allegiance to the group
  • Often apologises for the actions of the group

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The Victim / Target

  • Helpless to stop other peoples behaviour
  • Feels excluded, isolated or made fun of
  • Masks hurt feelings
  • Feels vulnerable and humiliated and may be tempted to change to fit in

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Choose Your Weapon

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Choose Your Method

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Social media sucks – it’s just so judgy. Thing is you can’t just come off it, it’s social suicide – you need it to be popular”

Girl, 12.

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Is online behaviour a school issue?

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Bystander Intervention

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What can we do to tackle relational aggression?

  • What ideas do people have?
  • What, if anything, has worked in their schools?
  • Are there cultural considerations?
  • What age should we start at?
  • What can other young people do to help themselves and others?
  • What about online behaviours?