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Elementary 1

Elements of the presentation retrieved from and inspired by: Ministère de l’Éducation et de l’Enseignement supérieur. (Working Document). Agression sexuelle – 1^re année du primaire, mai 2020, 26 pages.

Sexual Assault

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When you are playing, practicing a sport or doing an activity, what do you do to protect yourself or to feel safe?

Suggested activity:

Ask the question displayed on the slide.

Possible answers:

While cycling (wear a helmet, knee pads, respect road safety codes, etc.)
When crossing the street (look both ways before crossing, respect the school crossing guard’s instructions, etc.)
When swimming (presence of a lifeguard, wear a personal flotation device (PFD), don’t grab on to others, etc.)
As a passenger in a car (sit in the back seat, wear your seat belt correctly, etc.)

In other situations:

In case of a fire (follow the evacuation plan, crawl on the ground, alert the fire department, etc.)
In case of an accident (find an adult, call 9-1-1 if you’re alone, etc.)

Suggested notions to present:

Despite all the safety rules used, accidents can still happen.

Despite all the safety rules used, we can experience unwanted situations or events that are beyond our control, as is the case with sexual assault.

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Educational Aims

Recognize situations of sexual assault and ways of protecting yourself.
Become aware of the feelings that could arise following a situation of sexual assault.

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What is sexual assault?

Concerns the sexual parts.
Sexual assault is against the law. This is, for example, when a person:

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Suggested activity:

Explain to the students that to address sexual assault, we must talk about the sexual parts (private parts).

Ask the students the following question:

Which parts of your body are the sexual parts (private parts)?

Suggested notions to present*:

The sexual parts are private (often called the private parts). They are the parts that are covered by a bathing suit: breasts, buttocks, vulva, penis, etc. It is possible to be curious about the sexual parts, your own or those of someone else, but you must respect other people’s private parts.

In certain situations and with certain people, the sexual parts might be seen. The following contexts are examples:

When you are changing in the locker room at the pool.
For a medical exam.
For reasons related to hygiene (ex.: when you take a bath at home).

In the last two situations, the adult explains to you the reason why they must see your private parts and makes sure that you are comfortable with the actions taking place.

*The information for the possible answers was taken from the kindergarten contents and theme “Sexual Growth and Body Image”.

Sexual assault is prohibited by the law. This is, for example, when a person:

Touches your sexual parts (with their hands or with another part of their body).
Shows you their sexual parts (private parts) or asks you to show yours.
Wants you to touch their sexual parts (private parts) (with your hands or with another part of your body).
Sticks and rubs against you in a way that bothers you.
Wants to take pictures or videos of you when you are naked.
Shows or forces you to look at pictures or watch videos of naked people doing sexual acts, etc.

These gestures can make us feel “mixed up” or “confused” especially if we are told it is a game or that our body experiences sensations that we find funny or tickles (ex. tickling on the genitals). These are still “bad touches” because they concern the sexual parts that are private and they are not appropriate gestures for a child of your age.

Note for the presenter: It can happen that behaviours of sexual exploration occur between children and this is part of their development. For information regarding children’s sexual behaviours, consult the section “Take Time to Reflect” in the pedagogical framework.

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Who carries out these acts of sexual assault?

It could be:

someone from your family,
someone you know (family friend, neighbor, coach, etc.),
someone you don’t know or someone you’ve seen before, but don’t know.

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No matter who did it, it is NEVER your fault.

No one has the right to carry out an act of sexual assault.

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Madison’s Story

Madison is really happy because the summer holidays are here! It’s finally time for lots of outdoor play!

She is going to Aunt Lucy’s cottage for a week. In the meantime, her parents will be staying at home to work.

She can’t wait to see her two older cousins, Liam and Matt, and to go swimming in the lake.

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One sunny afternoon at the cottage, Madison goes to the bathroom and closes the door to put on her bathing suit.

While she is naked in the bathroom, Liam opens the door and takes a photo of her.

Madison’s Story

Questions and possible answers:

Why did Madison go into the bathroom and close the door?

She closed the bathroom door to change into her bathing suit in private.
The fact that she closes the door indicates that she does not want someone to enter.
It is one way to protect herself.

What is wrong with what Liam did?

Liam did not respect Madison’s privacy when he entered the bathroom even though she had closed the door. He is also not allowed to look at her while she is changing and to take her picture.
He should not have opened the bathroom door without knocking or without asking permission first. If Liam had opened the door by accident, he would probably have closed it right away and apologized to Madison. He would have been just as embarrassed as Madison. He would not have taken any photos. Moreover, taking a picture of a naked child is against the law.

How do you think Madison feels?

She can feel shy or embarrassed to have been seen naked by her cousin.
She can feel sad, disappointed or angry that her cousin did not respect her privacy.
She can feel confused, unsure of understanding what just happened, if Liam’s behaviour was ok or not. She can question herself as to why her cousin, that she loves, did that.
She can feel scared that it happens again, and she can feel unsafe.
She can fear being scolded for not having locked the bathroom door as she has already been told.
She can be afraid of not being believed if she talks about it or afraid of getting her cousin into trouble or scolded.

If you were in Madison’s place, what would you do? Who would you talk to about what just happened?

Talk to my Aunt.
Call my parents.
Talk to an adult whom I trust.

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Madison’s Story

Madison finds Aunt Lucy and tells her what happened. Aunt Lucy, replies:

“It’s all right, it’s just that Liam is curious. ”

Madison feels really uncomfortable and thinks her aunt’s answer is a little strange. Madison is not sure whether what Liam did was okay or not.

Questions and possible answers:

Why do you think Madison feels weird, or uneasy? What can we do when we feel like that?

Liam might be curious, as Aunt Lucy said, but that does not allow him to look at Madison when she is naked and to take her picture. Being curious does not give the right to look at someone while they are naked, or to take their picture.
It is possible to feel confused or not really know whether the situation is acceptable or not. If someone does not believe you or says that it doesn’t matter (or says that it’s all right), but you still don’t feel well, you must talk about it with an adult. Madison did the right thing by talking about it and trusting her feelings.

What would you do if you were in Madison’s situation?

Tell Aunt Lucy how you feel.
Call your parents.
Ask for help until someone listens, believes and helps you.

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Madison’s Story

The next day, while they are swimming in the lake, Liam and Matt ask Madison to take off her bathing suit. Madison replies that she does not want to do that.

Liam and Matt continue to insist. Liam touches her buttocks. Then he tries to take off her bathing suit bottom.

Madison says “No” very loudly and runs off toward the cottage to her bedroom.

NO !

Questions and possible answers:

Which of the cousins’ acts and behaviours were wrong? Why?

The cousins ask her to undress. The cousins insist even though Madison answered that she did not want to.
They don’t respect the fact that Madison said “no”.
Liam touches her buttocks. Nobody has the right to touch a child’s sexual parts (private parts).
Liam tries to remove her bathing suit bottom.

What did Madison do to protect herself, to react to what happened?

She listened to her internal alarm system (a gut feeling or that little voice inside you that tells you that what is happening is not normal: make the comparison with a fire alarm system).
She tells her cousins that she does not want to undress.
She tells them no.
She runs away.

How do you think Madison feels?

She can feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, sad, angry, worried, surprised that people she loves and knows well acted in this way toward her.
She may have felt mixed up (confused): she was not sure whether what the boys did was inappropriate or not.
She may be afraid: of having her bathing suit taken off, that the boys touch her, hurt her, do these things again, or afraid of not being able to leave.

Suggested key messages to present:

What happened in the story is a situation of sexual assault. It is unacceptable to ask someone to undress; to touch their sexual parts (private parts).

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Madison doesn’t feel well and wonders if she should tell Aunt Lucy what happened.

Madison’s Story

Questions and possible answers:

Why doesn’t Madison feel good?

Because she feels that the situation is not normal or not ok, she feels confused.
Because she feels confused, weird, embarrassed, shame, sad…
Because she does not feel safe, she is afraid that her cousins repeat what happened and she hopes that someone will help her.

Why does Madison ask herself if she should talk about it to Aunt Lucy?

She may feel embarrassed to talk about it.
She may be afraid of her aunt’s reaction, of not being believed or of being scolded.
She can be afraid that her cousins know that she talked about it or that they will be scolded.
She can be uncertain that it is ok to talk about it, Aunt Lucy’s previous reaction can make her feel doubtful.

If you were in Madison’s position, what would you do?

Tell Aunt Lucy what happened and how you feel.
Call your parents and explain to them what happened.
Talk about it with an adult that you trust.

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Madison’s Story

Madison decides to tell about what happened to Aunt Lucy.

Aunt Lucy tells her that she did the right thing by telling her. Together, they telephone Madison’s mother.

Her mother tells Madison that she is happy that she told her and that she will immediately come and pick her up to bring her home. Madison is relieved.

That same evening, her mother talks with Aunt Lucy about her cousins and their inappropriate behaviours. The mother then goes to see Madison to reassure her and to tell her that she is safe.

Suggested key messages to present:

Madison’s cousins do not have the right to look at her while she is naked, to take her photo, to ask her to undress or to touch her sexual parts. This is a situation of sexual assault. It is not an accident and Madison did the right thing by telling an adult.
You must ask for help until someone listens, believes and helps you. It can happen, for all sorts of reasons, that an adult does not know what to do and doesn’t help immediately. If this happens, you must find another adult who you trust, until you are provided with help and the situation stops.
In Madison’s Story, if Aunt Lucy would not have believed her or had done nothing to help her, it would have been important that she talk with another adult (ex. phone her parents).
You must listen to your internal alarm system. If a secret or a situation makes you sad, confused or you don’t feel well, you must talk about it with an adult.
Adults must protect children. Aunt Lucy finally listened to Madison and she did what was necessary to help Madison by calling her mother. Madison’s mother then spoke with Aunt Lucy to ensure that someone was going to intervene with the cousins to prevent the situation from repeating itself. Madison’s cousins must understand that their behaviour was unacceptable.

Note: If the students question whether Madison will see her cousins again, it is important to remind them that adults are responsible for protecting children. Madison’s parents will make the best decision for her and will ensure her well-being and safety.

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Which emotion could you feel in this situation?

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Suggested activity: Present a few situations from the statements below.

In each scenario, ask the students if the statement represents a situation of sexual assault. To help them, it is possible to question the students as to the emotions that could be felt in those situations.

Remember that in certain situations and with certain people, the sexual parts can be seen. The following are examples of those contexts:

When changing in the locker room at the pool.
For a medical exam.
For hygienic reasons (ex. when taking a bath at home).

In the last two previous contexts (medical exam or hygienic reasons), it is possible to feel negative emotions even though they are not acts or behaviours of sexual assault. In these situations, it is possible to express how you feel to the adult and they will explain the reason why they must see your sexual parts and make sure that you are at ease with the actions taking place.

The situations IN BOLD type are NOT assaults.

My older cousin showed me photos of naked people on his computer.
Mommy takes my little brother’s temperature with a thermometer that she puts in his bum. (Reason: medical care)
My neighbour who is very nice with me, asked me to show her my penis. I think that’s weird.
When my uncle comes to babysit me, he always wants to give me a bath. I don’t like that he touches me.
When my stepfather puts his hand in my pants, he says that it’s a game.
My older teenage sister has a boyfriend. Sometimes, he kisses her on the mouth. (Reason: consenting teenagers of the same age)
Daddy wraps me up in a big towel when I get out of the bathtub. (Reason: hygiene)
My coach keeps touching my butt. He always says he didn’t do it on purpose.
Daddy’s friend asked me to touch his penis when I was alone with him, it’s a secret.
The doctor at the medical clinic examines me to see if I am sick. (Reason: medical care)
My babysitter asked me to touch her breasts.
At the park, my brother and I saw a man showing his penis while staring at us.
My grandparents hug me tightly in their arms. They love me and are happy to see me. (Reason: expressing affection)
My mom sometimes walks out of the bathroom naked after taking her shower and goes to her bedroom to get dressed. (Reason: daily routine)

Suggested notions to present:

It is important to listen to your feelings (the little voice inside you telling you how you feel). When we feel good in a situation (positive emotion), things feel right! When we don’t feel well (negative emotion) or we are uncertain, we must talk about it with an adult.

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Tips to make you feel safer

Listen to your internal alarm system: if you feel uncomfortable in a situation, find an adult to talk to.
Know the phone number of your parents or an adult whom you trust to help you if needed.
At all times, tell an adult where you are going, with whom and when you will be back.
Always take the same route (ex.: to go to school).
Don't accept an invitation to follow someone without your parents’ permission.
Know places where you can seek help if needed (school, grocery store, neighbours).
Identify the adults to whom you can talk to if needed (family, teachers, school crossing guard, bus driver, neighbours, daycare personnel).

No one has the right to carry out an act of sexual assault.

No matter what, it is NEVER your fault.

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If you were in a situation of sexual assault, what could you do?

Say NO!

Scream for help or

to defend yourself.

Adults are responsible for protecting children.

Run away if you can and go to a place where an adult can help you.

Say that you don't like it or that you don't feel well.

Stop! I don’t like it!

Suggested notions to present:

Your body belongs to you and no one has the right to look at, touch your sexual parts or to force you to touch someone else’s. If this happens, you can:

Say “No”.
Say that you don't like it or that you don't feel well.
Say that you don’t like the touches, that they make you uncomfortable.
Find an excuse to leave.
Say that you don’t feel well and want to leave.
Scream to alert the people who are close, to receive help.
Physically defend yourself.
Run away toward a place where you know an adult can help you.
Seek help until an adult listens and helps you.

It is not always easy to react in a situation of sexual assault, especially if the person assaulting is someone you know well and love. You need to know that even if you did not say no, it’s a sexual assault and it is NEVER your fault.
If this has happened to you before, even if it was a long time ago, you must rapidly talk to an adult you trust. Ask for help and talk about it until someone helps you. It is very important to talk about it even if you are afraid, have received threats, have promised to keep it a secret, or even if you have accepted a gift.
Certain adults can make threats, tell you to keep it a secret, make promises if you stay silent. In those cases, they are “bad secrets”. To distinguish a good secret from a bad secret, ask yourself how you feel about that secret. If the secret makes you feel unwell, afraid, sad or angry, it is a bad secret. You must talk about it with an adult whom you trust.

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Remember

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As a child, you have the right to:

No one has the right to carry out an act of sexual assault.

Adults are responsible for listening, believing and protecting you.

It is

NEVER your

fault.

Say no

Be respected

To feel well and safe

To share a secret that doesn’t make you happy

Key messages to present:

It is important to ensure that all the key messages below were addressed during the presentation or before concluding.

All children have the right to feel well and to feel safe.
Children are never responsible for sexual assault.
You have the right to say no to sexual acts and you must talk about it with an adult whom you trust.
If a secret or a game makes you feel uncomfortable or if you don’t feel well in a situation, you must talk about it with an adult whom you trust.
If you have doubts or you are unsure of knowing if a situation is one of sexual assault or not, you must talk about it with an adult.
Acts of sexual assault can be committed by a person you know well, that you know a little or that you have already seen. It can also happen that sexual assault be committed by someone that you’ve never met (but it is less common).
Children have the right to say “no” and they must disclose a situation of sexual assault to an adult whom they trust, even if the person who did the assault says that it is a game, even if they use threats, blackmail or they offer gifts in exchange for sexual acts and asks that it be kept a secret.

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Who would you talk to if you were in a situation that made you feel uncomfortable or confused, whether it was a sexual assault situation or not?

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CREDITS

The presentation template was provided by the website: www.SlidesCarnival.com

The images and illustrations in this presentation were provided by the website: www.pixabay.com

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