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The mindmap of the ideas we had in class.

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Opinion Writing Task (p.6)

Write the topic you have selected inside the thought bubble. Write it as a statement. e.g. Bullying must stop

Brainstorm possible ideas/arguments that support the opinion you recorded above. Do not evaluate whether it is a strong point or not, just get the ideas flowing.

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Poverty/privilege is the topic that we focused on in class. We shared ideas and then linked them together.

Next, we need to plan and research the main ideas.

Link to planning grid

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Smoking should be banned by 2025.

Smokers:

  • Smell
  • Yellow teeth & fingers
  • Cough - illness/cancer

Litter - packets & butts

  • pavements and beaches (affects sea life)

Second- hand smoke. Effects on others (children in cars, others in houses etc.

Cost

Examples of ideas around a topic:

Healthier, wealthier country

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Plastic should be banned

2. Pollutes environment:

  • Land fill- Causes non-fertile land
  • In the sea, absorbs pollutants - back into water - affects animals & humans
  • Burning plastic - toxic fumes

3. Kills animals

  • Plastic beer holders suffocate penguins
  • Turtles eat plastic bags
  • Birds eat it - albatross (chicks)
  1. It takes forever to decompose
  2. Up to 1000 years in landfill
  3. Plastic bags - 10-1000 years
  4. Plastic bottles - more than 450 years

Another topic - 3 main ideas have been chosen:

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Page 1 - Opinion Writing

The aim of this essay is to express an opinion using facts and language that will persuade the reader to agree with you.

Task One:

Read this essay, in which Stephanie, aged 17, is expressing her opinion, and hopes you will agree with her.

It is so stupid how they lowered the drinking age. All the teenagers are out there boozing up until 1 a.m. in the morning and causing trouble in the streets. Some kids are even as young as 12 or 14. If the drinking age was still twenty at least that might stop some of them going out and getting drunk.

Using the booklet, identify the following throughout the essay(look at the examples to help you):

Task 2: Informal language

Task 3: Numbers 1-10

Task 4: Main idea of the paragraph = increase the legal drinking age

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Lessons for 6/4/2022 - 8/4/2022

Wednesday 06/04/2022

Step 1: Slide 8 - Match up the techniques to the examples on p.3 of your booklet.

Step 2: Slide 9 - Read the introduction and identify all the different techniques.

Step 3: Slide 10 - Read the introduction and improve it, using the checklist.

Step 4: Slide 11 - Using the checklist and your plan, write your introduction.

Thursday 07/04/2022

Step 1: Slide 12 - click on the link and identify the different persuasive techniques.

Step 2: Slide 12 - read the paragraph and then highlight the rest of the EXT in it.

Step 3: Write your 1st main body paragraph, using your plan and the checklist.

Step 4: Slide 13 - look at ways to link between paragraphs. Decide a way to link your 1st and 2nd main body paragraphs. Write main body paragraph 2.

Friday 09/04/2022

Step 1: Slide 14 - click on the link to play Blooket

Step 2: Slide 14 - Go through the checklist for what each paragraph needs and check yours so far.

Step 3: Complete main body paragraph 3.

Step 4: Slides 15 and 16 - match up what has been written to what is required.

Step 5: Write your own conclusion based on the plan.

Step 6: Edit and revise your work, then share it with a friend.

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Page 3 - Language Techniques - add the technique and the example

  • P-
  • E-
  • R-
  • S-
  • U-
  • A- Address the audience - Good afternoon Year 11
  • (D-xx)
  • E-

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Task Eight (p.4):

Read the following exemplars. Using highlighters and a key, identify each of the following in the texts:

  • Use of topic sentences (T)
  • Use of facts/statistics (EVIDENCE/EXAMPLES - (E)
  • Explanation of what the facts/statistics reveal (X)
  • Tying ideas to the topic (T)
  • Use of persuasive language - refer to the PERSUADE acrostic
  • Personal opinion

Name calling, punching, texting, ignoring...bullying has been a big problem for many years. World wide statistics have shown bullying has a negative effect on society. In the United States alone 4,600 people take their own lives every year because of bullying. In order to eradicate the epidemic we need to address why people bully, ways of bullying and the effects of bullying on victims. What do you think of bullying?

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I think Facebook is a really good invention. Some people think that it is taking over the world but everyone loves it! Recent studies have shown that Kiwi mums use it more than their children so that is quite interesting I think.They are not the only ones as people use it to make friends, keep up-to-date with news and to relax. I think it adds to our modern world.

How can we strengthen this opening, so that it:

  • commands attention
  • uses a wider range of language features
  • uses a greater variety of sentence structures and punctuation
  • Avoids use of I?

Persuasive techniques

Writing an Introduction:

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Revision of techniques - Blooket

What do you need to have in your introduction?

  • Topic sentence - begin with a power sentence (12 words or less) OR a rhetorical question OR facts to shock/surprise
  • Your opinion
  • Use persuasive techniques (aim for 2-3 minimum)
  • Use a variety of punctuation (!?; :, …)
  • Use a variety of sentence structures - power; ‘w-start’, adverb start, explore the subject, em-dash, preposition-start
  • AVOID USING I

Main body example - p.5 Mark scheme - p.7 Checklist - p.8

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T- Topic sentence

E - Evidence

X - Explanation

T - tie to next point/overall topic

Please identify the next use of EXT below:

Plastic will outlive us all; it takes forever to decompose! According to the website www.postconsumers.com, everyday items like plastic bags take between 10-1000 years to break down and plastic bottles last for up to 450 years. If we continue to use to buy and use these products so regularly, we will be drowning in plastic. Thankfully, New Zealand is making it compulsory for shops to stop using plastic bags by 2019, but is this enough? Plastic that is buried in landfill may still be present 1000 years from now and it is toxic when it breaks down, contaminating both the soil and water. Paper, glass and beeswax wraps are all optional alternatives and must be used more widely if we want to avoid plastic destroying our planet.

How do you think we could start the next paragraph? The subject is 2. Plastic pollutes the environment

TEXT

How to structure a main paragraph:

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Step1: Read this paragraph and underline T.E.X.T. in 4 different colours

It is not only the lack of basic commodities that affects people, but the lack of affordable education plays a major role for children in poverty. Today around 57 million children are not getting educated because they cannot attend school. Isn’t that shocking? The reasons may be that children have to stay home and earn money for their families, they cannot afford to pay for school, or they get sick and are unable to afford any health care. For many children, education is the way out of poverty as it gives them knowledge on how they view the world, as well as how they can improve their lives.

Step 2: Highlight and annotate persuasive techniques used.

Step 3: Highlight the punctuation. Is there a variety of punctuation?

Step 4: Highlight the 1st two words of every sentence. Is there a variety of sentence types?

Step 5: With a partner:

  • add in another persuasive language technique;
  • think about another type of punctuation that could be used and add it in;
  • Decide another sentence type which could be used to engage the reader and add it in;

Step 6: edit and revise a paragraph you have written, using these steps.

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Different options for linking paragraphs:

The previous paragraph was focused on plastic taking hundreds of years to decompose.

  • Sequence connectives: firstly, secondly, thirdly
  • Addition connectives: In addition, __________________________________
  • W-start sentence - While plastic takes hundreds of years to decompose, _____________________________________________________________
  • Adverb start - Unfortunately, not only does plastic take many years to decompose, but________________________________________________
  • Explore the subject - Plastic also pollutes our environment, land, sea and air, because it does not decompose.
  • Semi-colon - Plastic does not decompose; it pollutes land, sea and air.

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What do you need to have in your main body paragraphs?

  • Topic sentence - which shows a main idea and LINKS to the previous paragraph
  • Your opinion
  • USE T.E.X.T.
  • Persuasive techniques (aim for 2-3 minimum)
  • A variety of punctuation (!?; :, …)
  • A variety of sentence structures - power; ‘w-start’, adverb start, explore the subject, the semi-colon
  • AVOID USING I

Next paragraph

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Conclusion - what should it do?

Match evidence from the paragraph on the next slide to the steps.

Step 1: Restate your argument e.g. Stop bullying now!

Step 2: Summarise how you showed it. Write 1-2 sentences highlighting the key pieces of evidence.

e.g. Bullying does nothing but bring harm to everyone

____________________________________________________________________________________

Step 3: Show your insight. Write 3-4 sentences showing what you have discovered. Choose 1 of the 4 options below:

  • most significant thing you found and why
  • new idea it showed you
  • how the topic affected you
  • two things that can be learned from the discussion

Step 4: End with a power sentence to emphasise your point-of-view.

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Conclusion

In conclusion, we all need to put an end to bullying. Bullying does nothing but bring harm to everyone; it is sad and wrong. Bullying has been a big problem for many years and it is just getting worse. We all need to step up and make a difference. Schools, communities, parents, children, and bystanders all need to take a stand and do something about this serious issue because there have been too many incidents of bullying. It leads to greater problems such as self harming and even suicide and it will continue to increase if we all do not help each other and be there for one another. Stop bullying now!

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A - Use of TEXT - topic sentences and tie backs (to the topic) are crucial.

B- Remember the persuasive techniques

B2 - Remember to use formal language - kids =

C- Contractions - there’s =

D - Apostrophes of possession - New Zealands people =

E - Linking ideas within paragraphs =

F - Showing a different idea within a paragraph =

G - Use of commas - often to…

H- APA - “ “ for words which are not your own;

According to ______website, …

The New Zealand Herald article, ‘Small towns in consumer crisis’ states,___

I - Edit and revise your own work. Remember yellow means this is very good.

If you have responded to a comment on your Google doc, write ‘d’ for done; do not resolve it. Thanks, Ms Lowe

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Editing (the text looks better) and Revising (the text sounds better)

THINK:

C - Capitalise - names, countries, start of sentences, Proper nouns

U - usage - match nouns and verbs correctly. We was - We were

P- punctuation - check it has been used correctly and that there is a variety.

S - spelling - check homophones e.g. there/they’re/their and any words you are unsure of.

THINK:

A - Add - sentences, words.

R - Remove - unnecessary words/sentences (aim to be concise)

M - Move - change a word or placement of a sentence (often for effect)

S - Substitute - trade words or sentences for new ones (aim for variety e.g shows...)

  • Highlight the 1st two words of every sentence to help you.
  • Structure - Check everything is included, topic sentences are clear, the question is answered throughout.

FINAL STEP:

  • Share your work with a peer and they need to ‘green pen’ it, using the Feedback chart.
  • Discuss the corrections constructively - be positive and supportive. Use NCEA checklists e.g. formal writing

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Task 9(p.6):

It is time to choose your own topic. You can choose themes or issues from:

‘Hunt for the Wilder People’ -

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

‘The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian’

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OR your own topic e.g. :

  • environmental issues such as over-use of plastic, deforestation, use of 1080
  • social issues such as gangs; the effects of technology and social media; , legalising medical marijuana;
  • the pressures faced by teenagers today