I Am Not A Baby

Link Wind

Two-Time World Hero

Pirate Extraordinaire

Professional Badass

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The Slander Against Me

“I Just Want To Pinch His Little Cheeks”

• Lies
• There are others in this group with far more pinchable cheeks

“He’s so smol”

• Lies
• There are others in this group who are far smaller

“He is a child”

• Lies
• There are others in this group who are far more childish

Slander 1: Pinchable Cheeks

HAVE YOU SEEN TWILIGHT?????

Look at this man

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.

Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud

Have you seen this man

Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation

• Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit

I rest my case

Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

Solution:

Go pinch Twilight’s cheeks, not mine

1. far more pinchable cheeks
2. i bet he’d let you pinch them, too
3. he wouldn’t even try to bite you
4. i, on the other hand, will not hesitate
5. so stop trying
6. i’m talking to you, legend
7. stop it i swear i will bite you

Slander 2: Smol

height in this group

Four

You guys don’t tease him because you know he will kick your ass

Me

I, too, will kick your ass. The fact that you don’t seem to care proves that there is a distinct lack of respect for the sheer extent of my badassery >:(

Hyrule

Nobody teases him for being short! He is! Don’t start teasing him because he will kick your ass, but I’m just saying…

Legend

Same as Hyrule but please do actually start teasing him for being short I think it would be funny

Wild

He’s literally not even that short. You guys are just mean

After Months And Months of Intense Research and Calculation, I have reached my scientifically proven conclusion

max growth

Go tease Legend for being short instead of me it would be way funnier

Slander 3: Child

Okay but think about it though

Team Grandad

Time

Team Dad

Twilight

Local Child

Wild

Grandad’s Brother??

Warriors

Team Mom

Sky

Tired Uncle

Legend

Fun Cousin

Hyrule

The Coolest Dude

Wind

Contrary to popular belief, I’m not one of Twilight’s adoptees! I’m Wars’ and that puts me on par with Twilight and Sky in the mentor hierarchy! Wild and Hyrule have the most Child Energy

Cool Sibling

Four

Therefore:

I’m not the childishest one here!!

That honor goes to Hyrule and Wild! I am a perfectly autonomous individual who, despite having no mentees of my own, am sufficiently far up the mentor hierarchy to warrant more respect than I’ve been given!!

The Most Egregious of Slanders:

​

“he just has a unique blend of traits that make him perfectly suited to the role of baby”

Excuse me?

I saved Time and Four’s LIVES

I was the first one to notice the Shadow’s retreat and reappearance!

Don’t underestimate my badassery!

thank u for coming to my TED talk

in other news, i heard the third annual Best Link poll results came in recently! for some reason, wars won’t let me see them but i bet that’s just because he lost again. i feel sorry for him. y’all know i’m the best link so i know i’m not too far down :)

see you guys around!! love u all :D