1 of 23

Fostering Age-Appropriate Independence by Empowering Children’s Capabilities

Carolyn Cassill, PhD & Aikisha Harley, PhD

November 22, 2025

2 of 23

Carolyn K Cassill, PhD

B.S. in Psychology
Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology with emphasis in Neuropsychology
2-year Fellowship at MGH LEAP
Pediatric Neuropsychologist with NNG

Aikisha Harey, PhD

B.S. in Psychology & B.S. in Biomedical Engineering
Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology with emphasis in Neuropsychology
2-year Neuropsychology Fellowship at Kaiser Permanente, Roseville
Lifespan Neuropsychologist at NNG

3 of 23

We have no disclosures.

4 of 23

Executive Functioning

5 of 23

Cognitive processes that enable goal-directed behavior

Pick a goal
Work towards that goal
Meet that goal

Foundation: Attention and Sensory Processing
Core EF components:

Working Memory – holding and manipulating information.
Inhibitory Control – resisting impulses and distractions.
Cognitive Flexibility – shifting thinking and adapting to change.

EF influences everything we do at home, at school, and in social settings

6 of 23

Behavior Regulation

A person’s ability to manage and control their actions, impulses, and responses in different situations

Inhibition:

Inhibit impulsive responding
Following rules

Self-monitoring: managing one’s actions

Social settings

Shifting behaviors:

Transitions

7 of 23

Emotion Regulation

Ability to modulate our emotions and how we express them

Shifting

Change your thoughts or behaviors
Adapt your behavior

Emotional Control

How we express our feelings

8 of 23

Cognitive Regulation

How individuals manage their thinking processes to achieve goals

Skills

Initiation
Working Memory
Planning/ Organization
Task-Monitoring

9 of 23

Development of Executive Functioning

10 of 23

Expectations Based on Age

11 of 23

Toddlerhood

(2-3 yo)

Simple, concrete, 1-step instructions
Engagement in imaginative play
Turn-taking
Development of simple impulse control/rule following

Early Childhood

(4-6 yo)

Follows 2-3 step commands
Simple multitasking
Improved turn-taking
Follow simple routines

Middle Childhood (7-11 yo)

Manage/organize materials w/ support
Plan short task
Remember multi-step instructions
Improved inhibition
Beginning of time management

Young Adulthood (20-25)

Independent initiation of previously learned EF skills

Adolescence (12-19 yo)

Goal setting
Long-term planning
Emotion regulation
Prioritizing
Increased abstraction and reasoning
Independent organization

Adulthood (25+)

Fully developed EF skills

SUPPORTS

Consistent structure
Visual schedules
Clear expectations
Concrete choices
Scaffolding
Transition warnings

Checklists
Timers
Support breaking down tasks
Help problem solving

EF SKILL

Guided decision making
Reflections on outcomes
Self-monitoring tools

Calendars
Lists
Alarms
Implementation of modeled and learned organizational strategies

12 of 23

Fostering Independence

13 of 23

Executive Function and Independence

Knowledge

+

Physical Ability

+

Executive function

Independence

14 of 23

Importance of Independence

Learning how to fail

Enhances problem-solving skills
Helps build foundational skills the ultimately will be built upon for higher order skills

Builds confidence and resilience

Children learn frustration tolerance

“Productive struggle”

Develop problem solving skills
Foundational for emotional regulation

Reduces anxiety

Increases autonomy

Fosters development of important life skills
With parental guidance children demonstrate improved:

Self-regulation
Socioemotional adjustment
School performance

Encourages self-regulation
Promotes responsibility

AH
As parents we often want to protect our children no matter their age → harmful in the long term
“Productive struggle” → engaging in a challenging task and persisting through the obstacles to ultimately develop a deeper understanding and long-term mastery of the skill
Foundational for emotional regulation

Teaches kids to stay calm when things seem hard, ask for appropriate help, problem-solve rather than avoid

Reduces anxiety

By doing things for children sometimes we inadvertently promote the message “I can’t handle it by myself.”

Encourages self-regulation

Following rules when adults are not around

chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://2024.sci-hub.box/1392/9dd6d76330781952c46ef390879f7ff8/turnbull1985.pdf
Montessori, M. (1967). The Absorbent Mind.
Independent is not statistic → occurs throughout the developmental stages

Can consider a child’s frist attempt at independence when they try to do something themselves such as eatting holding their own

As parents sometimes we have to let them make the messy or they would learn that fundamental skills

Grolnick, W. S., & Ryan, R. M. (1989). Parent styles associated with children's self-regulation and competence. Journal of Educational Psychology.

children gradually take on tasks with support:

Their belief in their own capabilities grows�
Transitions feel easier�
New situations feel less overwhelming�
They recover from setbacks more quickly
Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: The exercise of control.

Little failures along the way fosters long term success

15 of 23

Barriers

ADHD

ASD

Intellectual Disability

Neurodevelopmental

Anxiety

Depression

Trauma/stress

Emotional/Psychiatric

Illnesses

Poor sleep

Medical

Cultural

Environmental

Psychosocial Expectations

Normal Development

16 of 23

Parenting is HARD…

Desire to protect our children

More to worry about now compared to 10, 20 years ago

Social media, etc

Less control

Loss of the “village”

Life is hectic

Increased expectations as parents
Sometime it seems easier to “just do it”

Fear of emotional/behavioral regulation challenge

Avoid power struggles
Smoother path to do it for them to avoid the tantrum

Cultural/familial/generational expectations

It means they are growing up

17 of 23

Shift from doing for to coaching through tasks.
Encourage “productive struggle”
Reinforce effort, strategy, and persistence rather than outcomes (Growth Mindset)
Provide opportunities for choice-making and decision-making.
Serve as scaffolders and coaches, NOT rescuers.
Provide consistent structure and predictable routines.
Offer emotional validation while guiding toward problem-solving.
Collaborate across environments (home, school) for consistency.

0

Empowerment through capability building

18 of 23

Use visual and environmental supports (schedules, bins, routines).
Teach organizational strategies (e.g., planners, time management tools).
Model self-talk and problem-solving.
Gradually fade adult support as skills strengthen.
Encourage self-reflection: “What worked? What can I try next time?”
Link competence with autonomy: “You did this by planning ahead!”
Encourage goal-setting and tracking progress.
Celebrate incremental successes.
Use language that communicates trust in the child’s ability to handle challenges.

Build self-efficacy and motivation

19 of 23

Practical Exercises

Key Takeaways:

Consistency
Time
Perfection is not the Goal
Controlled Burn
Fun!

Examples:

Preschool: Clean-up songs, sorting toys, Simon Says, sequencing stories, play, choices, visual schedules
Elementary: Daily planners, cooking steps, setting up homework stations, helping with bathing, bickering.
Teens: Budgeting, managing schedules, planning group projects or outings, chores.

20 of 23

21 of 23

Resources

22 of 23

23 of 23

Talk to your pediatrician

If recommended, seek a neuropsychological evaluation

Recommendations may include:

Parent Coaching
Executive Skills Coaching
Occupational Therapy/Speech Therapy
Social Skills Group
Individual Therapy
School Based Accommodations

617-564-1540

admin@newtonneuro.com

https://www.newtonneuro.com/

Concerns for your child?