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The Four Loves

By C. S. Lewis

Storge

Philia

Eros

Agape

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Chapter III - Affection

Storge

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  • Some people, like the fictional Mrs. Fidget, are so eaten up by a twisted affection that they must “be needed” or else be unhappy
    • Mrs. Fidget made her family miserable by doing things for them
    • By wearing herself out, Mrs. Fidget guilt-tripped everyone around her

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  • We must learn to let go of the pleasure of being needed, lest we become a pest to those around us

Chapter 3, Idea 4 - The Case of “Mrs. Fidget”

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Chapter IV - Friendship

Philia

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  • Friendship is love about something. It is two people united in pursuit of a common goal or interest.

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  • Friendship is the most “non-natural” love, not shared by animal (their “friendship” is really affection or storge)

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  • Ancient cultures considered friendship the highest or most noble love, while modern cultures sometimes struggle to recognize it as love at all

Chapter 4, Idea 1 - The Nature of Friendship

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Chapter 4, Idea 2 - Why Friendship is Undervalued

  • In modern times, Friendship has become less celebrated than other loves, for a variety of reasons:

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    • Few people experience it (mere companionship is not friendship)

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    • It is often accused of being homosexuality in disguise

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    • It is not viewed as something having “survival value” like the other loves

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