Raising a Gifted Child

“To have the intelligence of an adult and the emotions of a child combined in a childish body, is to encounter certain difficulties” Hollingsworth

Types of Problems Gifted Children May Experience

• Uneven Development-sometimes motor skills lag behind cognitive/conceptual abilities (IF they struggle with this area, important to link them with groups that are not related to physical ability-i.e. Boy Scouts/Girl Scouts)

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• Peer Relations- Gifted children (especially highly gifted) attempt to organize people and things-they emphasize rules which they attempt to apply to others

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• Excessive Self-Criticism-have an exceptional ability to see possibilities and alternatives which gifted children may think they are supposed to be-leads to feelings of inadequacy when they fall short of the ideals they see in their mind

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• Perfectionism-the ability to see how one might ideally perform, combined with emotional intensity=high expectations for themselves

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• Avoidance of risk taking-in the same way they see possibilities, they also can perceive problems which makes them avoid risk taking

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• High levels of stress-many will experience higher levels of stress due to heightened sensitivity to their surroundings and higher self expectations

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• Bullying-can be particularly sensitive to criticism due to their own perfectionism and the high expectations placed on them. They may respond to small incidents with magnified intensity, or they may construct fears that aren’t actually present.

Perfectionism

• All or Nothing Thinking
• Critical Eye
• Unrealistic Standards
• Focus on Results
• Depressed by Unmet Goals
• Makes gifted students vulnerable to underachievement and emotional turmoil

Helping Students with Perfectionism

• Emphasize process, not outcome
• Be specific with expectations
• Have a sense of humor
• Discuss how mistakes can be good
• Model
• Priorities and perspective
• Goal setting
• Pursuit of excellence vs perfectionism

Stress

• It is the body’s general response to any intense physical, emotional, or mental demand placed on it by oneself or others.
• Heightened sensitivity to surroundings, events, ideas, and expectations
• Constant striving and relentless pressure to excel can lead to high amounts of stress
• Many gifted students accept responsibility for a variety of activities----added stress

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Helping Students with Stress

• Be aware of the student’s behaviors and emotions (G.C. have a different way of experiencing the world: intense, vivid, complex)
• Encourage expression of feelings and be open for them to talk to you
• Teach the student to problem solve
• Model healthy emotional responses

Disciplining a Gifted Student

• Consistent application of values, rules, and behaviors
• Enforce rules with consistent consequences
• Provide logic behind rules and acknowledge reluctance to obey rules blindly
• Allow them to participate in formulating rules
• Understand that they are challenging your ideas not you when a power struggle occurs
• Keep cool and state clearly why a specific behavior is undesirable
• Avoid the use of sarcasm, labels, and ridicule
• Ask them how their inappropriate behavior can be modified
• Focus on what they are doing right

Training Your Faculty

• Be a resource for the teachers in your school
• Talk to them about the gifted children in their classrooms
• Ask your principal for an hour a semester at a teacher work day to do an in-service on working with gifted children

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“I Am Gifted” Video from You Tube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Omx_iLtMjZA

Resources

• “Nurturing Social-Emotional Development of a Gifted Child” Webb, J. Education.com
• “Perfectionism Traits: Do These Sound Familiar?” Scott, E 2011
• “Helping Gifted Students Cope with Perfectionism” Pyryt, M 2004; Davidsongifted.org
• “Helping the Gifted Student with Stress Management” Bainbridge,C; giftedkids.com
• “Bullying of Children with Exceptionalities”; cec.org