Lecture 16�Justice in Human-to-Human Relationship

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Harmony in the Family

1. Relationship is – between one self (I₁) and another self (I₂)
2. There are feelings in relationship – in one self (I₁) for the other self (I₂)
3. These feelings can be recognized – they are definite (9 Feelings)
4. Their fulfilment, evaluation leads to mutual happiness

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Feelings in relationship:

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Affection:

The feeling of being related to the other

(acceptance of the other as one’s relative, the other is like me)

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One has the responsibility and commitment for mutual fulfilment in the relationship

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Opposition, jealousy... are an indication of the absence of affection

reaction (instead of responsibility)

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Care Guidance

Feeling of responsibility toward the self of my relative

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The responsibility & commitment for ensuring Right Understanding and Right Feeling in the self of my relative

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Feeling of responsibility toward the body of my relative

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The responsibility & commitment for nurturing and protection of the Body of my relative

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Care & Guidance are a natural outcome of Affection

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Do we ensure both care as well as guidance or are we mostly focused on care?

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E.g. while taking care of the body, like while feeding the child, are we concerned about both the body as well as the self?

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Reverence:

The feeling of acceptance for excellence

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Excellence: Completeness of Right Understanding

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Working for Excellence and competing with each other is not the same thing.

In excellence, one helps to bring the other to his level

In competition, he hinders the other from reaching to his level

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Effort for Excellence Effort for Competition

The other is like me

We are complementary

Feelings are based on right understanding (definite, unchanging)

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Feeling of relationship – unconditional

Nurtures others

Helps the other to come to his level

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Absolute (definite completion point)

Not other – only me

I am different/more than the other

Feelings are based on preconditioning (indefinite, keeps changing)

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Feeling of opposition – relationship is conditional

May nurture or exploit others

Stops the other to come to his level - effort to accentuate the difference, to dominate, manipulate, exploit

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Relative (no definite completion point)

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Glory Gratitude

Feeling for those who have made effort for my excellence

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Feeling for those who have made effort for excellence

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Gratitude:

Feeling for those who have made effort for my excellence

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I can see that the other has a feeling of care, affection, trust.. in behavior with me. I can also see that the other

• has helped me in developing right understanding & right feeling in me
• Has provided me with the necessary physical facility

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Gratitude is significant in the development of relationship

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Self Reflection

Check whether you have a feeling of gratitude for those who have made effort for you in your life…

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1. Are you able to appreciate both –”what has been done” as well as ”what has not been done” (the complete picture)? or

are you mostly focused on “what has not been done”?

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2. Do you have a feeling of gratitude for the other – continuous or

the feeing of gratitude comes and goes?

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3. Are you making effort for “ensuring the right feelings in yourself and expressing them to the other” or

are you “expecting these feelings from the other”?

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Respect, Reverence, Glory and Gratitude

Basic human aspiration = Continuous happiness

= To achieve excellence

Excellence:

Understanding Harmony &

Living in Harmony

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Continuous Happiness

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Trust, Respect – For all

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Reverence – For those who have achieved excellence

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Glory – For those who have made effort for excellence

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Gratitude – For those who have made effort for my excellence

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Feeling in Relationship

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Opposition, Affection and Love

Verify on the basis of your natural acceptance if you want to be related to:

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None

One

Many

Everyone

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Affection (Lusg) – The feeling of being related to the other

(acceptance of the other as one’s relative)

nwljs dks laca/kh ds :i esa Lohdkjus dk HkkoA

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Love ¼izse½ – The feeling of being related to all (Complete Value)

¾ gj ,d dks laca/kh ds :i esa Lohdkjus dk HkkoA

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🡪 The feeling of being related to none – in opposition to all

• The feeling of being related to one
• The feeling of being related to many

🡪 The feeling of being related to all

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Love

Love– The feeling of being related to all (Complete Value)

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It all starts with identifying that one is related to other human being (Affection - Lusg) and it slowly expands to the feeling of being related to all human beings and then to all, each & every unit in nature (human being as well as other units) (Love - izse)

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Feeling of Love is expressed in the form of kindness (n;k), beneficence (—ik) and compassion The feeling is for all, and it is expressed to those who come in contact

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The feeling of Love is the foundation of Undivided Society

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Justice

Justice is the recognition, fulfilment and evaluation of human-human relationship, leading to mutual happiness

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Recognition

• Unconditionally accepting the relationship. Accepting the other with their full possibility (potential) and with their current level of competence

Fulfilment

• Ensuring the naturally acceptable feeling in oneself and sharing it with the other
• Living with responsibility with the other unconditionally. This makes the other comfortable and assured
• Making effort for mutual development, i.e. development of one’s own competence and being of help to the other in developing their competence

Evaluation

• Verifying that the right feeling has reached to the other and that the other is able to make out that it is the right feeling

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Harmony in Family – Justice, From Family to World Family (Undivided Society)

1. Relationship is – between one self (I₁) and other self (I₂)
2. There are feelings in relationship – in one self (I₁) for other self (I₂)
3. These feelings can be recognized – they are definite (9 Feelings)
4. Their fulfilment, evaluation leads to mutual happiness

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Feelings in relationship:

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Justice = Recognition, Fulfillment & Evaluation of

Human-Human Relationship, leading to Mutual Happiness

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Justice 🡪 from Family to World Family

🡪 Undivided Society ¼v[k.M lekt½

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Self Reflection�����

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Assignment for Today

Each person has a different level of competence. There are many differences. But with these differences, what program can you make to ensure complementariness with every member of the family?

What program can you make in the institution to promote the effort for excellence in the students (and not competition)?

(In excellence, one helps to bring the other to his/her level, in competition, s(he) hinders the other from reaching to his/her level)

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What efforts can be made in the institution to help the students understand the true meaning of love?

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Self Reflection

1. In education, which feelings are essential in the teacher and in the student?
2. Make a list of people you have a feeling of gratitude.
3. Is love about sensation or about feeling in relationship?
4. What is justice? Is it to be ensured between 2 persons, then in family and so on or can it be enforced from outside?
5. What is the role of physical facility in understanding the right feelings and in the fulfillment of right feelings?
6. In relationship, where would you start?
• Expect right feelings from the other
• Take responsibility to understand relationship, ensure right feelings in yourself and express them to the other

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Self Reflection

Check whether you have a feeling of gratitude for those who have made effort for your excellence in your life…

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1. Are you able to appreciate both –”what has been done” as well as ”what has not been done” (the complete picture)? or

are you mostly focused on “what has not been done”?

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2. Do you have a feeling of gratitude for the other – continuous or

the feeing of gratitude comes and goes?

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3. Are you making effort for “ensuring the right feelings in yourself and expressing them to the other” or

are you “expecting these feelings from the other”?

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Self Reflection

5. Are you working for excellence or for being special or for domination?

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• Where would you draw the boundary between people who are related to you and people who are not related to you?

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Observing, Understanding Relationship, Feeling

When we pay attention to human-human relationship, the focal point is feeling, so we will pay attention to the feeling

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1. Is the feeling that we are paying attention to
• Spontaneous or forced?
• Natural or unnatural?
• We want its continuity or not?
2. Has this feeling been ensured within me?
• Have I understood it? Seen it?
• Has this feeling been ensured in me or not?
• Is there continuity of this feeling in me or not?
• Explore if I have these feelings towards individual members of the family to start with, then with friends, with people we live with in the society, and ultimately with every human being
3. Am I able to express this feeling to the other in relationship?
4. Is my feeling reaching the other or not? Are they able to receive it or not? Are they able to rightly evaluate the feeling or not?
5. With all that, is mutual happiness taking place or not? Is mutual satisfaction being ensured or not?

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Key Points

Lecture 16: Justice in Human-to-Human Relationship

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Harmony in Family – Justice, From Family to World Family (Undivided Society)

1. Relationship is – between one self (I₁) and other self (I₂)
2. There are feelings in relationship – in one self (I₁) for other self (I₂)
3. These feelings can be recognized – they are definite (9 Feelings)
4. Their fulfilment, evaluation leads to mutual happiness

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Feelings in relationship:

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Justice = Recognition, Fulfillment & Evaluation of

Human-Human Relationship, leading to Mutual Happiness

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Justice 🡪 from Family to World Family

🡪 Undivided Society ¼v[k.M lekt½

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Feelings in Relationship: Expression of Truth, Love and Compassion

Trust fo”okl I am assured that the other intends my happiness & prosperity. The other is similar to me.

I have a feeling of being related to the other

Foundation Value vk/kkj ewY;

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Respect lEeku Right evaluation. We can make effort together.

We are complementary to each other.

Affection Lusg Acceptance of the other as one’s relative

Care eerk Responsibility & commitment for nurturing and protecting the body of one’s relative

Guidance okRlY; Responsibility & commitment for ensuring Right Understanding and Right Feeling

in the self of one’s relative

Reverence J)k Acceptance for Excellence

Glory xkSjo Acceptance for those who have made effort for Excellence

Gratitude —rKrk Acceptance for those who have made effort for my Excellence

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Love izse The feeling of being related to all

Complete Value iw.kZ ewY;

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FAQs for Lecture 16

Justice in Human-to-Human Relationship

Question(s): Response

• Isn’t affection the same as attachment to one or few people?

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• How would we recognise that someone has a feeling of affection for us? Could you give us some indicators of affection?

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• Affection is the feeling of being related to the other. Attachment, however, indicates that we have over-evaluated the relationship and we have become dependent on the other for our happiness. Affection is born out of my understanding of relationship and this makes us self-dependent and having commitment for the other.

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• When we have feeling of affection for someone, we have the commitment for the fulfillment towards him. This commitment shows up in the form being responsible towards the wellbeing of the relative, both at the level of self as well as body. So, we work for ensuring right understanding and feeling in the self (guidance) and for ensuring the health of the body (care) of my relative.

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Question(s): Response

• You are saying lack of affection is jealousy but I find that there are some people for whom I don’t have a feeling of affection, but I am not jealous of them either. What would you call this?

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• What is the difference between affection and love

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• You want to say that you are being indifferent. Are you seeing this at the level of feeling or at the level of its fulfillment. At the level of its fulfillment, you may not be doing it with many people, even those for whom you have feeling of affection, but, at the level of feeling, it is important whether you have the feeling of affection or not. If you have the feeling of affection, it leads to harmony and happiness within, if not it leads lack of harmony, lack of happiness, somewhere deep down you have the feeling of fear with him. Observe this.

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• Affection is the feeling of being related to one or many, while, love is the feeling of being related to all.

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Question(s): Response

• When I am feeding my child, I realise I am paying more attention to the body, but then this is necessary to keep the child healthy – he does not know what is good for him, how much is required etc.

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• We also care about other people’s feeings. Is that not care? What would you call that?

• This is fine. But, we have to make sure that we are talking of the self also, atleast not violating it. For example, when we are force feeding the child, are we taking care of the self also or violating it?

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• In the general use of the word ‘care’, it is so. But, here, we have defined the feeling of care as feeling of responsibility towards body. Taking care about other people’s feelings can be called as expression of feeling of affection.

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Question(s): Response

• Is there any difference between being a good teacher in a particular subject and guidance?

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• Guidance as defined here, has to do taking the responsibility of development of the self. This means ensuring right understanding and right feelings in the self of the relative. This is very broad and teaching a subject may be a part of it.

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Question(s): Response

• Can we not achieve excellence through competition? After all good colleges and good jobs are so limited, so there has to be competition

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• I can understand what you said about competition. But to grow, should there not even be healthy competition? Or at least competing with myself?

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• Without competition what would be the motivation for innovation and growth?

• For excellence, we have to ensure understanding of harmony and living in harmony at all levels of our being. For this we don’t have to compete, there is provision for everyone to do this in this nature, in existence. We only have to develop a proper system of education which will make it available to all.
• To grow, we have to work for excellence, and in the process we cooperate and not compete. When you say ‘competing with myself’, it would essentially mean working for excellence.

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• Motivation for innovation and growth comes from working for excellence, as mentioned above.

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Question(s): Response

• We seek “name and fame” like movie actors or sports persons. Should we not have feeling of glory for such people?

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• Can one have glory for oneself? Is glory same as pride?

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• Where would national pride fit in with these feelings?

• If they are working for excellence, then yes; if not, you ask your natural acceptance.

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• We can have. If pride has a sense of ego, then it is not same as glory, if not then, we can call it self-pride.

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• A society or a nation which is working for excellence, we will have a feeling of glory for it, and if it does not include ego, we can call it pride.

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Question(s): Response

• Is gratitude the same as being thankful to someone or for something?

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• Our students seem to be grateful for some time but then they tend to forget about it. Even our own children, we do so much for them, but there are times when they are so ungrateful. How to make them feel this gratitude?

• Gratitude is the feeling for any help that we have received for our self development. This would include being thankful to someone or for something

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• If we are giving them something which has continuity, then they will have the the feeling of gratitude in continuity. Ultimately, we have help them ensure right understanding and right feeling in them and then they will have continuity of feeling of gratitude.

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Question(s): Response

• Love, falling in love, having boy/girl friends is a major issue for my students. It often distracts them from studies. How can that be resolved?

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• Do we still have the feeling of affection when we have the feeling of love?

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• Can you explain the feeling of love in more detail, as there are many confusions related to this.

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• They have to understand the feeling of love, atleast feeling of affection and see that it is related to the self and not to the body. Then they will be able to be responsible towards themselves (including their studies) and others.

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• Feeling of affection is contained in the feeling of love.

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Preconditioning Related to Love – Common misunderstandings

Excitement (from sensation, preconditioning) is confused for feeling

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Sensation –

Lust, getting from the other

Continuity not possible

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Preconditioning –

Infatuation

1. Love at First Sight?
2. By this age, I must have GF/BF?
3. The other has 4 GF/BF; I have only one?

Continuity not possible

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Right understanding (natural acceptance) –

Love (प्रेम) = feeling of being related to all, responsible towards all, giving to all

Continuity

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Once trust, respect, affection, care, guidance… are ensured within, then

the feeling of being related to all follows naturally

Infatuation, Lust

Sensation

Imagination

(in the Self)

Love

Preconditioning

Natural Acceptance

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Preconditioning Related to Love

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This is certainly not Love!

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The feeling of love needs to be understood rightly by all,

particularly by youth

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Love Infatuation

Happiness = Right understanding & right feeling in the self

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Love = feeling in the Self

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Based on relating to the other self unconditionally

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Continuity is possible

Happiness = sensation (through the body) & feeling from other

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Love = sensation

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Infatuation, Attraction, Liking, Lust, Vasna, based on getting sensation / feeling from the other

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Continuity is not possible

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Question(s): Response

• What is the difference between ragging and interaction?

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Ragging Interaction

• When we are not able to see this relationship with the newcomers, then we may tease them, make fun of them just for the sake of fun. We are not concerned about its impact on the newcomer. Of course, it hurts others. That is ragging.
• Can you recall, how does it feel, when you are hurt by someone? For how many days/ months/ years, it disturbed you?
• Is it wise/ a normal mental status to seek enjoyment by hurting others?

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How do you feel when a relative/ friend come to your family?

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• We feel happy about it. We want to share many things with them and also listen from them. This exchange of feelings and words satisfy all of us. That is interaction

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(Here, we feel concerned with them, take care of their immediate needs and facilitate them to set their things in order….)

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Interaction and Ragging

Of course, a welcoming healthy interaction is a must, because we are a member of the same institute family, will be staying together for 3-4 years

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Thus, we are related to each other, we want to know each other so that we can be of help for each other in the process of understanding and learning together

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Question(s): Response

• What is the difference between feeling and expression of feeling?

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Feeling and Expression of Feeling

Feeling Can be continuous

Continuity is desirable for right feelings

e.g. Respect

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Expression of Feeling Can’t be continuous

We don’t want continuity here!

e.g. Shaking hands

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Feeling Expression of Feeling _______

Trust Cooperation

free from complaints, irritation, anger

Respect Mutual development

Affection Commitment- responsibility towards relative

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Love Compassion, Unconditional commitment

free from struggle

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The important thing is to understand the feelings, to ensure the feelings within

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Competition and Collaboration/Cooperation

• What is the difference between Competition and Collaboration/Cooperation

• When we feel related to each other, we cooperate. On the other hand, when have a feeling of opposition, we compete.

Our natural acceptance is for relationship and cooperation and not for opposition

In today’s world view, we assume there is “Struggle for survival and survival of the fittest”; rather than a relationship of mutual fulfillment in nature.

Just ask yourself- When does our mutual growth/ competence becomes better-

• When we help each other wherever needed
• When we work separately in isolation or
• When we work separately in opposition

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Right Feeling Within Feeling from Other

You have the right understanding

(of relationship, harmony and co-existence)

[You are aware of it, guided by it]

This ensures

You have the right feeling within

(happiness)

definite, continuous, unconditional

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(Right understanding and right feeling is your property;

not dependent on other;

You are in a state of self-organisation or swatantrata)

Within, you don’t have any definite feeling (it keeps fluctuating)

• If the other expresses right feeling, you feel “happy”
• If the other expresses wrong feeling, you feel “unhappy”

This indicates

You don’t have the right understanding

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(In terms of feeling, you are dependent on the other;

you are in a state of enslavement or partantrata)

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The expression of feeling is only an indicator of the state of being

The other is not expressing the right feeling

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The other does not have the right feeling

(is unhappy)

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The other does not have the right understanding

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The other has a natural acceptance to make you happy and prosperous

[but (s)he is not aware of it, is not guided by it]

You are not perturbed by it

Check own past misbehaviour

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You express right feeling only, try to assure the other

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You are committed to help the other develop right understanding (as and when (s)he feels assured of you, your behaviour)

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You have trust on intention of the other. You feel related to the other. You feel responsible in the relationship, unconditionally

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Role of Physical Facility in Fulfilment of Relationship

Physical facility is only useful for nurturing the body, its protection and its right utilisation

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Of course, it includes using the body for fulfilment in relationship

• In the expression of the feelings

In that context, only for fulfilling the feeling of care there is a role of physical facility (for nurturing, protection and right utilisation of the body)

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Family

People living together in a relationship of mutual fulfillment with a common family goal (happiness, prosperity 🡪 continuity)

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Family is a training ground:

• To understand relationship & to live in relationship

Developing the right feeling (trust, respect… love) 🡪 happiness

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2. To understand the need of physical facility & together produce more than required physical facility 🡪 prosperity

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3. To participate in the larger order (in the family… in the society) 🡪 continuity of happiness, prosperity… generation after generation

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Competition and Collaboration/Cooperation

When we oppose/ misguide each other

Wrong impacts of feeling of competition-

• On our own happiness and prosperity
• On other human beings with whom we are interacting
• On the society and nature
• We feel unhappy, whenever we have a feeling of competition within
• Hinders the growth of others and make them unhappy
• Promotes struggle, war etc in the society
• Over-consumption and therefore exploitation of natural resources

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• When we feel related to each other, we cooperate. On the other hand, when have a feeling of opposition, we compete.
• Our natural acceptance is for relationship and cooperation and not for opposition
• Our perception depends upon our world-view
• In today’s world view, we assume there is “Struggle for survival and survival of the fittest”; rather than a relationship of mutual fulfillment in nature.
• Just ask yourself- When does our mutual growth/ competence becomes better-
• When we help each other wherever needed
• When we work separately in isolation or
• When we work separately in opposition

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• आप प्रेम की बात कर रहे हैं और हमारे पड़ोसी देश हमारे देश पर आए दिन हमला बोलते रहते हैं, हमें गुलाम बनाने की तयारी करते रहते हैं | अगर आपकी बात मान लें तो इसका मतलब तो फिर बार्डर से army भी हटा देनी चाहिए | तो ऐसा लगता है के आप के काल्पनिक बात कर रहे हैं|

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• अगर आज समाज की स्थिति की बात करें तो लगभग-लगभग पूरी धरती के संसाधनों को चंद हाथों ने कंट्रोल कर लिया है | ऐसे में एक शिक्षक जो ईमानदारी से अपने बच्चों का पालन-पोषण कर रहा है, वो क्या कर सकता है|

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• How about other feelings like truth, honesty, hard work, integrity, sympathy, empathy… These are also valueable. Can we call these also values?

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Question(s): Response

• Had it not been for disciplinary committees and anti-ragging enforcement, we would have had lot of ragging on our campus. Do you think justice can be managed without strict enforcement?

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• Today we go to court for justice. What would be the role of courts in serving justice?

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• What is the role of punishment and atonement (prayaschit) in justice?

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