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Religious Conflict Resolution

Presentation to the Conference, “Psychological Manipulation, Cultic Groups, and Other Alternative Movements

University of Madrid

July 14-16, 2005

Michael D. Langone, Ph.D.

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Definitions

Religion: 1a. Belief in and reverence for a supernatural power or powers…3. A set of beliefs, values, and practices based on the teachings of a spiritual leader. 4. A cause, principle, or activity pursued with zeal or conscientious devotion. (American Heritage Dictionary, Houghton Mifflin, 2000)

Definitions (Cont.)

Conflict: 2. A state of disharmony between incompatible or antithetical persons, ideas, or interests; a clash.
Resolve: 7. To bring to a usually successful conclusion, resolve a conflict. (American Heritage Dictionary, Houghton Mifflin, 2000)

Defnitions (Cont.)

Religious Conflict Resolution (RCR): The attempt to reduce or end the state of disharmony existing between two or more people (usually family members) resulting from a difference in religious beliefs, practices, or commitment, with “religion” being defined in a broad sense.

Factors in Conflict

Each person tends to blame a group or the other person, when in fact all contribute to the conflict.
Often neither fully understands the sources of conflict.
Much conflict results from communication failures.
The “need to be right” is almost always a prime contributor to any conflict. “People would rather be right than happy” – Alfred Adler.

Factors in Conflict (Cont.)

Over-reliance on words, which are interpreted, leads to insensitivity to non-verbal communication.
Religious conflicts tend to be “buried” (“we don’t talk about religion and politics”) or escalate to a level that demands outside mediation.

Adapted from Richard J. Mayer, (1990). Conflict Management. Columbus, OH: Battelle press.

Why do Families Become Concerned?

How Have Families Handled These Situations?

Wait and hope that it resolves itself naturally (most people ultimately leave controversial groups)
Seek help from clergy or other helping professionals. Probably this usually enhances “waiting and hoping” but not much more.
Hire intervention specialist to persuade loved one to leave the group (analogous to substance abuse interventions) – “deprogrammer,” “exit counselor,” “thought reform consultant.” Usually, implies goal of “getting person out of the group.”

Best-Guess Probabilities

Research has many limitations (difficulty in obtaining representative samples).
People stay in groups an average of about 5-7 years.
Groups vary tremendously on the dimension of harm.
About 100,000 people/year in the U.S. enter and leave groups each year.
At most several hundred people per year leave their groups as a result of a family-initiated intervention.

What the Numbers Indicate

Only a miniscule percentage of families (less than one percent) can initiate an intervention.
Many groups don’t fit the “cult” stereotype.
Families need another alternative to “waiting and hoping.”
Mediation, i.e., religious conflict resolution, may be a viable alternative for many families. (Has occurred in exit counseling and family consultation, but has not been articulated as a separate process.)

Goals of RCR

Improve communication between the parties.
Increase each party’s understanding of the perspective and concerns of the other party.
Identify points of agreement, toleration, and disagreement.
Through improved communication and understanding, increase points of agreement and toleration.
Through negotiation, manage remaining points of disagreement.
Plan for future beyond RCR - followup

Necessary Conditions for RCR

Each party must recognize that this is not a process that leads to “victory” for one side or the other; it is not a “power struggle.” It is an attempt to enhance a relationship.
Each party must be willing to change.
Each party must be willing to admit error.
Each party must be willing to listen, i.e. to place his/her beliefs, values, and judgments aside in order to hear out the other party.
Each party must be willing to negotiate in good faith.

Possible Structure for RCR

One party seeks out mediator(s)
Initial meeting – preliminary assessment of conflict
Approach other party about taking part in RCR
Two parties meet with mediator(s) to pursue goals of RCR. Two mediators, meeting together and separately with both parties is probably preferable.

Phases of RCR

Review of and commitment to goals of RCR.
Communications training for both parties.
Identification of sources of conflict.
Clarification to increase agreement and toleration and agreement about nature of disagreements (i.e., explain other party’s perspective to his satisfaction).
Negotiate behavioral contract to minimize disharmony resulting from residual disagreements.
Negotiate follow-up plan to monitor adherence to contract.

Discussion