Stinkin’ Thinkin’

Amygdala Controls:

  • Arousal
  • Fear Response
  • Emotional Responses
  • Hormonal Secretions

The Amygdala is fully developed by the time a baby is born. The prefrontal cortex (the front of the brain) where thinking and planning take place, takes longer to mature. This may explain why it takes time for children to learn how to control their fears and emotions.

Cerebellum

Brain Stem

Cerebrum

Prefrontal Cortex

Automatic Negative Thoughts

Skill #1 - Recognize the A.N.T.s in our Brain!!!

Thoughts that “pop” into our head when an unpleasant event happens

“(Snap, Snap … “)

  • They better ….
  • I can’t let …
  • They need to …
  • They’re will be problems if …

DEMANDS

AWFULIZING

  • They’ll kill me if …
  • It’s no use …
  • This the worst thing that has ever happened to me

(“High Drama”)

LFT - Low Frustration Tolerance

  • I can’t stand…
  • I will just die if…
  • I’ll go crazy if…

(“Road Rage”)

Labeling & PPD’s

  • That jerk …
  • I’m such an idiot …
  • What’s wrong with me?
  • Are they dumb or just stupid?

- Personal Put Downs

(“Name Dropper”)

Task 1

When the BOMB starts “ticking” …

DIFFUSE IT!!

Skill #2 – Use Diffusers

When A.N.Ts arise, diffusers help calm you down and react better.

Task 2

  • Its not the end of the world
  • It’s over and done with
  • It could be a lot worse
  • Stay calm
  • Its time to take a deep breath
  • It’s not the end of the world
  • Getting mad won’t help
  • I choose my mood
  • I don’t have to be perfect
  • I’m not the fist person to do that
  • They can think whatever they want

  • It really doesn’t matter
  • It’s not that big a deal
  • It’s not awful, just unpleasant
  • Its just not worth this
  • This could actually be FUNNY!
  • As long as I keep my cool, I’m in control
  • It’s my choice how I look at things
  • I can get through this

Practice Compassion
(Put yourself in their shoes)

  • I know what that is like …
  • It’s happened to me before …
  • I would be embarrassed if …
  • I would feel pretty awkward …
  • If it were me, I’d want them to handle it like this …

Skill #3 -

“The Golden Rule”

“You’ll have to excuse my husband – he’s got compassion fatigue”.

Task 3

“Looks like someone could use a hug.”

“Batter up!”

  • Is it Safe?
  • Is it Legal?
  • Is it OK with my parents?
  • Is it Healthy?
  • Is it Right?

“Can you hit a SLO – Home Run

Skill #4 - Make a DECISION

Task 4

Skill #5 – A.C.T

  • Ask for what you want to happen and state how you feel about the situation.

  • Remember to use compassion to show you understand their wants, like and dislikes, and feelings.

  • “I” Statements

Assertive Communication Techniques

Task 5

I feel ____________ when ____________ ; Please ____________.

  • I’m frustrated because …
  • I’m disappointed that…
  • I’m irritated with…
  • I’m annoyed that…
  • I’m concerned that…
  • I’m saddened that…
  • I’m sorry that…
  • I get frustrated when…
  • I get disappointed when…
  • I get irritated when…
  • I get annoyed when…
  • I get concerned when…
  • I get sad when…
  • I’m sorry for…

You can add “really” for emphasis …..

Saying how you FEEL

  • I’d like…
  • I’d appreciate…
  • I’d rather…
  • I’d prefer…
  • I wish…
  • I don’t like…
  • I don’t appreciate…
  • I don’t want…
  • I dislike…
  • I want…

Ask for what you WANT

Frankie says RELAX !

Exercise

Chocolate

Laughter

Meditation

Music

Hobbies

Sleep

Progressive relaxation

Mental imagery

Etc …

Relaxation helps to clear the mind, release endorphins and helps you move on.

Now you got ……

SKILLS

Emotional Management Presentation.ppt - Google Slides