Skill: Dealing with Feeling Left Out | Learning Goal: Self-Control
Grades: 9-12 | Activity Type: Lesson | Purpose: 🟢 Core Instruction
Be Good People Curriculum © St. Croix River Education District
How Do People Handle Social Exclusion?
We see each other’s lives online, and it’s easy to feel like we’re missing out on great things. But what if you suspect that someone has deliberately excluded you?
Most, if not all, people get FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) at some point. What things do you think affect how often that happens to someone and how intense it is for them?
What connection(s) do you see between our topic and any of these values? Why?
Aiden sees that his friends have posted pictures of a hangout without inviting him. He feels hurt and excluded. Aiden wonders if he should bring it up to his friends, leave a comment on the post, or ignore it and focus on something else.
How should Aiden handle this situation? What’s important to consider?
What wisdom would you share with a middle schooler about how to navigate situations where they feel excluded?
Picture this!
TIP #1: |
Don’t just assume that people intentionally excluded you. Sometimes our brains try to be mind readers. We don't know much about what's going on, but we quickly assume that people must be excluding us on purpose. If you aren’t sure, you could talk to the person in your friend group who you're closest with. |
Feeling excluded can bring up a lot of emotions. How could someone cope? A few ideas ⬇️
TIP #2: |
If you have a relationship with the person or people who left you out, there may be conflict in the relationship. If that's the case, you need to decide how to respond to the conflict and if you want to try to resolve it. |
Carlos is part of a group project but notices that his groupmates are mostly talking to each other and leaving him out of the discussion. He feels excluded and unsure how to join in. Carlos wonders if he should speak up, ask to contribute, or stay quiet and do his part alone.
Skip to end
Play it out: How would the tips and suggestions that we’ve discussed look in this situation?
Words of wisdom: What advice would help someone handle this situation well?
Heads up: What pitfalls should someone try to avoid in a situation like this? How?
Lessons learned: I’ve been through a similar situation and here’s what I learned from it…
Choose one ⬇
Maya walks into the cafeteria and notices her friends have already formed a group at a table, leaving no space for her. She feels awkward and unsure whether to ask them to make room, sit elsewhere, or just find a new place to sit by herself.
Skip to end
Play it out: How would the tips and suggestions that we’ve discussed look in this situation?
Words of wisdom: What advice would help someone handle this situation well?
Heads up: What pitfalls should someone try to avoid in a situation like this? How?
Lessons learned: I’ve been through a similar situation and here’s what I learned from it…
Choose one ⬇
Marcus starts a new job at the mall where three of his classmates already work. During breaks, they all talk about their shared shifts and work stories, making him feel like he's missing a year of inside jokes.
Skip to end
Play it out: How would the tips and suggestions that we’ve discussed look in this situation?
Words of wisdom: What advice would help someone handle this situation well?
Heads up: What pitfalls should someone try to avoid in a situation like this? How?
Lessons learned: I’ve been through a similar situation and here’s what I learned from it…
Choose one ⬇
Luis realizes he's the only one in his friend group who didn't get invited to join the honors program next year. Now they're all talking about their class schedules and which electives they'll take together.
Skip to end
Play it out: How would the tips and suggestions that we’ve discussed look in this situation?
Words of wisdom: What advice would help someone handle this situation well?
Heads up: What pitfalls should someone try to avoid in a situation like this? How?
Lessons learned: I’ve been through a similar situation and here’s what I learned from it…
Choose one ⬇
The skills and values that we discussed included: