7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Start Right
Term 1 Week 1 2023
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Where did the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People come from?
What is a habit?
A habit is a pattern of behaviour that is repeated by yourself with you being unaware of it.
How long does it take to form a new habit?
Minimum
18 Days
Maximum
254 Days
Average
66 Days
Phillippa Lally (Health Psychology Researcher from University College London)
Stages of Development
1. Be proactive
2. Begin with the end in mind
3. Put first things first
4. Think win-win
5. Seek first to understand, than to be understood
6. Synergize
7. Sharpen the saw
Dependence
Independence
Interdependence
Private Victory
Public
Victory
Private Victory
Public
Victory
Independence
Interdependence
Level of growth
Independence
Private Victory
Public
Victory
Interdependence
Habit 1
Be Proactive
Habit 1: Be Proactive
d. Be a Transition Person
a. Pause then Respond
b. Use Proactive language
c. Focus on your Circle of Influence
Habit 1: Be Proactive
You and I have the capacity to choose our response.
Stimulus
Response
Freedom to choose
a. Pause then Respond
Habit 1: Be Proactive
YOU
TOM
a. Pause then Respond
Habit 1: Be Proactive
YOU
WHY YOU NEVER PASS THE BALL?!
I WAS WIDE OPEN!
SEE LAH, YOU MISSED THE SHOT SOME MORE!
YOU
PROACTIVE
(Response-able)
REACTIVE
Blames others
YOU ALSO NEVER SAY ANYTHING, HOW I KNOW?
EVEN IF I PASS TO YOU AS IF YOU CAN SCORE..
TOM
Habit 1: Be Proactive
You and I have the capacity to choose our response.
Stimulus
Response
Freedom to choose
a. Pause then Respond
Stimulus
Reaction
Habit 1: Be Proactive
YOU
Hey Tom!
I know you did your best.
Next time I will try to wave to you when I am open and then you could choose to pass to me!
TOM
PROACTIVE
(Response-able)
Focuses on oneself
Hey sorry but I didn’t see you there!
Perhaps you could shout out to me where you are!
Habit 1: Be Proactive
YOU
TOM
HEY TOM!�I AM OPEN!
LEFT SIDE!
a. Pause then Respond
Habit 1: Be Proactive
YOU
REACTIVE
PROACTIVE
(Response-able)
Focuses on oneself
Habit 1: Be Proactive
REACTIVE
PROACTIVE
(Response-able)
Stimulus
Response
Freedom to choose
“Why don’t my friends wait for me?”
“My classmates always don’t clean up the classroom.”
“He always cuts the queue.”
“Its ok, I will go to the canteen by myself.”
“I can sweep the floor.”
“I will stand in line and talk to him nicely if he does so again.”
Focuses on oneself
Blames others
a. Pause then Respond
Habit 1: Be Proactive
d. Be a Transition Person
a. Pause then Respond
b. Use Proactive language
c. Focus on your Circle of Influence
Habit 1: Be Proactive
Reactive Language:
I cannot do it..
It is not my fault..
I have no other choice..
They did not even help me..
I am sure someone will help him/her..
Proactive Language:
I can do it..
I am sorry..
Let me think about my options..
I will get this done..
I will help him/her..
b. Use Proactive language
Habit 1: Be Proactive
d. Be a Transition Person
a. Pause then Respond
b. Use Proactive language
c. Focus on your Circle of Influence
Habit 1: Be Proactive
Circle of Concern
Circle of Influence
Others’ decisions
Others’ mistakes
What people think of you
Weather
National situations
Attitude
OUT OF CONTROL
IN CONTROL
Skills you learn
Habits
Hobbies
Who to be friends with
REACTIVE
PROACTIVE
(Response-able)
Complain about circumstances
Focus on things they can control
c. Focus on your Circle of Influence
Habit 1: Be Proactive
Circle of Concern
Circle of Influence
OUT OF CONTROL
IN CONTROL
REACTIVE
PROACTIVE
(Response-able)
Complain about circumstances
Focus on things they can control
Proactive Focus
c. Focus on your Circle of Influence
Habit 1: Be Proactive
Circle of Concern
Circle of Influence
OUT OF CONTROL
IN CONTROL
REACTIVE
PROACTIVE
(Response-able)
Complain about circumstances
Focus on things they can control
Reactive Focus
c. Focus on your Circle of Influence
Habit 1: Be Proactive
When you are facing a problem or an opportunity, ask yourself:
Others’ decisions
Others’ mistakes
What people think of you
Weather
National situations
Attitude
Skills you learn
Habits
Hobbies
Who to be friends with
c. Focus on your Circle of Influence
Habit 1: Be Proactive
d. Be a Transition Person
a. Pause then Respond
b. Use Proactive language
c. Focus on your Circle of Influence
Habit 1: Be Proactive
You and I have the capacity to choose our response.
Past Negative Patterns
YOU
-Reacting with anger
-Uses negative words
Stimulus
Response
Freedom to choose
Reactive TOM
d. Be a Transition Person
Habit 1: Be Proactive
Past Negative Patterns
Future Positive Patterns
YOU
d. Be a Transition Person
-Reacting with anger
-Uses negative words
-Responds kindly
-Uses positive words
Reactive TOM
Proactive TOM
Words:
Hey Tom,�Remember that we always have the freedom to choose our response.
Let’s speak to others kindly!
Actions:
Leading by example.
66
A Habit takes __ days to form?
Habit 1: Be Proactive
d. Be a Transition Person
Habit 1: Be Proactive
d. Be a Transition Person
Habit 1: Be Proactive
Watch video:
https://www.leaderinme.com/resources/stone
Who was Mr Stone a Transition Person to?
Who was a Transition Person to Mr Stone?
d. Be a Transition Person
Forgive
Forget
Habit 1: Be Proactive
Think-Pair-Share
Who has been a Transition Person to you?
Who can you be a Transition Person to?
d. Be a Transition Person
Habit 1: Be Proactive
SUMMARY
a. Pause then Respond
Stimulus
Response
Freedom to choose
Habit 1: Be Proactive
SUMMARY
b. Use Proactive language
Proactive Language:
I can do it..
I am sorry..
Let me think about my options..
I will get this done..
I will help him/her..
Habit 1: Be Proactive
SUMMARY
c. Focus on your Circle of Influence
Circle of Influence
IN CONTROL
Others’ decisions
Others’ mistakes
What people think of you
Weather
National situations
Attitude
Skills you learn
Habits
Hobbies
Who to be friends with
Habit 1: Be Proactive
SUMMARY
d. Be a Transition Person
Past Negative Patterns
Future Positive Patterns
YOU
Habit 2
Begin with the End in Mind
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
What are your goals?
How are you going to get there?
How are you going to achieve them?
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
“It’s incredibly easy to get caught up in an activity trap, in the business of life, to work harder and harder at climbing the ladder of success only to discover that it’s leaning against the wrong wall.”��Stephen Covey
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
Mark Tyson
Youngest boxer to win a heavyweight title at (20 years old)
Undisputed Heavyweight Champion:
Holding held all three major championship belts; WBA, IBF, and WBC
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
Money
Fame
Recognition
Cool Friends
Helping others
Meaning in life/work
Happy family
Positive relationships
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
a. Define outcomes before you act.
b. Create and live by a Personal Mission Statement.
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
All things are created twice.
2. Physical creation
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
All things are created twice.
2. Physical creation
Presenting an idea to the class
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
All things are created twice.
2. Physical creation
Drawing a dragon during Art lesson.
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
a. Define outcomes before you act.
b. Create and live by a Personal Mission Statement.
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
b. Create and live by a Personal Mission Statement.
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
b. Create and live by a Personal Mission Statement.
I want to be ________ by_____________________.
BE
a good friend
the best I can be
a leader
a responsible person
an independent learner
a disciplined person
a happy and positive person
valued by others
BY
helping others
being resilient
setting goals
leading by example
using the 7 habits
proactively helping out in school and at home
having a growth mindset
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
b. Create and live by a Personal Mission Statement.
I want to be a student leader in my class/school by being proactive and helping others.
Example Student
Personal Mission Statement
I want to be the best player in my CCA by practicing the skills diligently and learning from others.
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
b. Create and live by a Personal Mission Statement.
I want to be a transition person for others to uncover and develop their potential.
Example Teacher
Personal Mission Statement
I want the next generation of youth to be able to lead with their hearts and minds.
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
b. Create and live by a Personal Mission Statement.
Example Personal Mission Statement
“I want the world to be better because I was here.”
Will Smith
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
Following questions to help draft your personal mission statement:
When am I at my best?
What do I really love to do at work? in my personal time?
What are my natural gifts and talents?
If I had unlimited time and resources, what would I choose to do?
What do I see as my most important future contribution?
b. Create and live by a Personal Mission Statement.
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
b. Create and live by a Personal Mission Statement.
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
b. Create and live by a Personal Mission Statement.
Write your Personal Mission Statement here
Habit 3
Put First Things First
Habit 3: Put First Things First
d. Stay true in the moment of choice
a. Focus on your highest priorities
b. Eliminate the unimportant
c. Plan every week
Habit 3: Put First Things First
IMPORTANT
NOT IMPORTANT
NOT URGENT
URGENT
Q1 Necessity
-Incomplete homework due today
-Going to school on a rainy morning
-Household chores
Q3 Distraction
-Phone calls
-Checking social media notifications
-Checking message notifications
Q2 Effectiveness
-Planning ahead
-Completing assignments ahead of time
-Building positive relationships with family and friends
Q4 Waste
Spending long hours: -watching TV
-playing video games
-gossiping about others
a. Focus on your highest priorities
Habit 3: Put First Things First
Which “box” (Q1,Q2, etc.) are you in right now?
Q1 Necessity
-Incomplete homework due today
-Going to school on a rainy morning
-Household chores
Q3 Distraction
-Phone calls
-Checking social media notifications
-Checking message notifications
Q2 Effectiveness
-Planning ahead
-Completing assignments ahead of time
-Building positive relationships with family and friends
Q4 Waste
Spending long hours: -watching TV
-playing video games
-gossiping about others
IMPORTANT
NOT IMPORTANT
NOT URGENT
URGENT
What are the consequences of staying there?
Think-Pair-Share
Habit 3: Put First Things First
d. Stay true in the moment of choice
a. Focus on your highest priorities
b. Eliminate the unimportant
c. Plan every week
Habit 3: Put First Things First
Q1 Necessity
-Incomplete homework due today
-Going to school on a rainy morning
-Household chores
Q3 Distraction
-Phone calls
-Checking social media notifications
-Checking message notifications
Q2 Effectiveness
-Planning ahead
-Completing assignments ahead of time
-Building positive relationships with family and friends
Q4 Waste
Spending long hours: -watching TV
-playing video games
-gossiping about others
IMPORTANT
NOT IMPORTANT
NOT URGENT
URGENT
b. Eliminate the unimportant
Identify the Q3 and Q4 activities in your average day/week.
How can you reduce the time spent there?
Limit to 1h of screen time a day?
Habit 3: Put First Things First
d. Stay true in the moment of choice
a. Focus on your highest priorities
b. Eliminate the unimportant
c. Plan every week
Habit 3: Put First Things First
c. Plan every week
Spend 20-30 min planning:
Connect with your mission, role and goals.
Schedule the Big Rocks
Organise the rest
Schedule other activities around the Big Rocks
Habit 3: Put First Things First
c. Plan every week
Spend 20-30 min planning:
Connect with your mission, role and goals.
Schedule the Big Rocks
Organise the rest
Schedule other activities around the Big Rocks
Q2: Family
Relationship
Health
Revision
Q1: Homework due
Household chores
Q3 Q4: TV, video games etc.
Smart phones/watches.
Habit 3: Put First Things First
c. Plan every week
Spend 20-30 min planning:
Connect with your mission, role and goals.
Schedule the Big Rocks
Organise the rest
Schedule other activities around the Big Rocks
Q2: Family
Relationship
Health
Revision
Q1: Homework due
Household chores
Q3 Q4: TV, video games etc.
Smart phones/watches.
Habit 3: Put First Things First
c. Plan every week
Weekly planning
Monday -
Read up on the chapters to be covered.
Complete my assignments ahead of time.
Thursday -
Revise on what was covered this week.
Remedial.
Tuesday -
Complete class assignments given in class.
CCA session.
Rest and Recover
Friday -
Complete class assignments given in class.
CCA session.
Rest and Recover
Free time - Hobby
Wednesday -
Complete my assignments ahead of time.
External private lessons (Swimming, learning, piano etc.).
Habit 3: Put First Things First
What are your outcomes/plans/goals for the coming week?
Saturday -
Friends time - Play basketball with my friends.
Family time - Dinner at Bedok Mall.
Sunday -
Visit my grandparents.
Family time - Sentosa USS.
Weekly planning
Plan for next week.
c. Plan every week
Habit 3: Put First Things First
How and where do I plan my week?
Read up on the chapters to be covered.
Complete my assignments ahead of time.
Complete class assignments given in class.
CCA session.
Rest and Recover
Complete my assignments ahead of time.
External private lessons (Swimming, learning, piano etc.).
Revise on what was covered this week.
Remedial.
Complete class assignments given in class.
CCA session.
Rest and Recover
Free time - Hobby
c. Plan every week
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Habit 4
Think Win-Win
Habit 4: Think Win-Win
Win-Lose
Lose-Win
Lose-Lose
Win-Win
Habit 4: Think Win-Win
d. Create a Win-Win Agreement
a. Have an Abundance Mentality
b. Balance Courage and Consideration
c. Consider other people’s wins as well as your own
e. Emotional Bank Account
Habit 4: Think Win-Win
Principle of scarcity
Principle of Abundance
There is only 1 pizza.�I cannot share it with everyone!
This is a large pizza, enough to go around for everyone!
a. Have an Abundance Mentality
Habit 4: Think Win-Win
Stop comparing yourself to others
Celebrate your own unique strengths and contributions
a. Have an Abundance Mentality
Habit 4: Think Win-Win
Celebrate others’ success
Share compliments, praise, credit and rewards freely
a. Have an Abundance Mentality
Habit 4: Think Win-Win
Win-Win
Habit 5
Seek First to Understand,
Then to be Understood
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
Don’t Assume,
Leave some Room!
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
a. Practice Empathic Listening
b. Respectfully Seek to be Understood
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
a. Practice Empathic Listening
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
a. Practice Empathic Listening
Empathic Listening is not just listening with our ears.
It is listening with our eyes and heart too.
INTENT
Listen to understand
SKILL
Reflect feelings and words
Empathic Listening Phrases to use:
I am sorry they did that to you..
They misunderstood you and..
I hear you..I am listening..
I would be upset too..
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
a. Practice Empathic Listening
Focus on the other person’s point of view
Put yourself in their shoes
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
a. Practice Empathic Listening
Focus on being genuine and empathic in body language and in the words you use.
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
a. Practice Empathic Listening
Focus on being genuine and empathic in body language and in the words you use.
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
a. Practice Empathic Listening
Why do you ALWAYS take my eraser without my permission?!?
WHAT?
WHERE GOT?
I do not ALWAYS take it ok!
Don’t ALWAYS blame people!
TOM
JERRY
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
Focus on being genuine and empathic in body language and in the words you use.
a. Practice Empathic Listening
Yes Jerry!
I needed it as I made a mistake on my work!
Hey Tom, did you take my eraser earlier?
Did you need to use it urgently?
TOM
JERRY
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
a. Practice Empathic Listening
No Jerry, I did not.
That is why I needed to use yours!
Trying to understand Jerry’s point of view first.
I understand.
Did you manage to bring your own eraser today?
TOM
JERRY
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
a. Practice Empathic Listening
b. Respectfully Seek to be Understood
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
b. Respectfully Seek to be Understood
INTENT
Seek to be understood
SKILL
State your point of view using “I” messages
I raised my voice because..
I felt that what happened was..
I believe it would be better if..
Perhaps we could..
Or we can try to..
Avoid “You” messages that blames/accuses others
Use Proactive language and “I” messages.
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
Focus on being genuine and empathic in body language and in the words you use.
I see Jerry..
Hmm.. ok then, I will ask for permission next time.
I see.
I also needed to use the eraser but I could not find it.
I think it would be best if we could have our own erasers or if we could ask permission from each other!
b. Respectfully Seek to be Understood
TOM
JERRY
Habit 6
Synergize
Habit 6: Synergize
a. Value Differences
b. Seek 3rd Alternatives
Habit 6: Synergize
Habit 6: Synergize
a. Value Differences
We see our differences as strengths, not weaknesses
Let’s..
Respect, include and value everyone’s skills and contributions
Actively seek to learn from others
Habit 7
Sharpen the Saw
Habit 7: Sharpening the Saw
Habit 7: Sharpening the Saw
Which is faster?
10 hours
to saw down the tree
30 min
to sharpen
5 hours
to saw down the tree
Habit 7: Sharpening the Saw
As we work/study/lead others etc.,
we become dull.
Habit 7: Sharpening the Saw
BODY
HEART
MIND
SPIRIT
Exercise
Nutrition
Rest
Stress Management
Building and maintaining key relationships
Reading, writing, learning, studying
Service, nature, meditation, reflection
Habit Of The Month
How long does it take to form a new habit?
Minimum
18 Days
Maximum
254 Days
Average
66 Days
Phillippa Lally (Health Psychology Researcher from University College London)
Habit 1: Be Proactive
SUMMARY
a. Pause then Respond
Stimulus
Response
Freedom to choose
Habit 1: Be Proactive
SUMMARY
b. Use Proactive language
Proactive Language:
I can do it..
I am sorry..
Let me think about my options..
I will get this done..
I will help him/her..
Habit 1: Be Proactive
SUMMARY
c. Focus on your Circle of Influence
Circle of Influence
IN CONTROL
Others’ decisions
Others’ mistakes
What people think of you
Weather
National situations
Attitude
Skills you learn
Habits
Hobbies
Who to be friends with
Habit 1: Be Proactive
SUMMARY
d. Be a Transition Person
Past Negative Patterns
Future Positive Patterns
YOU
Habit 1: Be Proactive
a. Pause then Respond
b. Use Proactive language
c. Focus on your Circle of Influence
d. Be a Transition Person
End
Thank you!