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REQUESTS – A POWERFUL BRIDGE BETWEEN INNER AND OUTER�

WWW.FRIARELIV.COM

WWW.LIVLARSSON.COM

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REQUESTS – ACTION OR CONNECTION ORIENTED?

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Action requests

- Possible to say yes or no to (otherwise it is a demand)

  • Possible to say yes or no to in this moment
  • As clear as possible; who, when, where, what,

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REQUESTS – ACTION OR CONNECTION ORIENTED

Connecting requests

Focuses on the connection in the moment, to know if the action is supported from within.

Making the intention clear

- Do you want to come?

- I like to share this experience with you, are you willing to come?

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REQUESTS – ACTION OR CONNECTION ORIENTED

Making the intention clear

  • Do you want to come?

vs

- I like to share this experience with you, are you willing to come?

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REQUESTS – ACTION OR CONNECTION ORIENTED

Connecting requests

Focuses on the connection in the moment, to know if the action is supported from within.

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- How is this affecting you? / How do you feel when I say this? etc

- Can you tell me with your words if I was able to make it clear why this is so important to me? / Was it clear why this is important to me?

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REQUESTS TO ONE PERSON

  1. I like you to just listen to me.
  2. Are you willing to look at me when I speak?
  3. Stop interrupting me.
  4. Are you willing to wait with adding your point until I have stopped explaining how I see this?

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REQUESTS TO ONE PERSON�

  1. Why do you never tell me what I do that is good?
  2. I want you to understand me.
  3. Just be honest with me.
  4. I want you to take the lead more often.
  5. Why can´t you just leave me alone!?

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REQUESTS TO A GROUP�

I noticed that everyone is speaking without putting their hands up first.

vs

Would you be willing to raise your hand if you are willing to change this format to that when someone wants to add something, they put their hand up before they do it?

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REQUESTS TO A GROUP

We don’t have enough information about this to decide on anything.

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Changed into a clear request:

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YOUR REQUEST

  • What do you want others to do (or do differently)?
  • What do you want their reasons to be for doing it?

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NO TO A REQUEST

  • Means a yes to something else
  • Means that this person is willing to show up
  • Means that you can (maybe) still continue to communicate and find a third way that works for you all

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