“What Do I Do?!”: Supporting Students in Distress

Steve Silver, Psy.D.

CSU Northridge

University Counseling Services

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Academic Resources Conference 2025

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Agenda

• Overview of mental health concerns of students
• Warning signs to keep an eye out for
• Active listening and de-escalation skills
• Motivational Interviewing skills
• De-escalation skills
• How to refer students for further support

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Common Concerns

• “COVID high school” impact on social skills
• Racism and discrimination on campus and in larger society
• Abuse and other trauma history
• Relational concerns
• Financial distress
• Career decisions
• Unexpected trauma/crises
• Less family guidance than others
• The unknown FUTURE?!?!?!

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Trends

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• Psychological challenges can disrupt students’ functioning on multiple levels: academic, occupational, social and other areas of functioning
• The emotional and behavioral problems of college students impacts not only the individual, but can also have an effect on others (e.g., roommates, classmates, faculty and staff) and the university community as a whole
• Psychological services can have a positive impact on academic success, retention, and well-being

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Active Listening and De-escalation Skills

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Active Listening

• Use non-threatening body language
• Uncross your arms
• Try to face student/Point toes toward them
• Maintain eye contact
• Natural nodding and smiling
• Relax and be authentic
• Be aware of personal space
• 1.5 to 3 feet of space
• Explain your actions

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Active Listening Skills: Verbal

• Use minimal encouragers (e.g., “uh-huh”, “sure”, “yeah”, etc.)
• Ask open-ended questions
• “Can you tell me a bit about what has been going on recently?”
• Reflect and validate feelings
• “Yeah, it makes sense that you’d be upset.”
• “That must be scary/frustrating”
• Summarize what you’ve heard every so often
• Followed by “Did I get that right?”
• Commend them for their willingness to share their feelings/thoughts and trusting you

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5 Coping Skills to Build Resilience

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Decreasing Distress

• Skill 1: Tracking
• Noticing or paying attention to what is happening inside your body at the present moment
• Differentiate between pleasant and unpleasant smell
• Focus on the pleasant

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Learning Sensation Words

VIBRATION

SHAKING

TWITCHING

TREMBLING

FAST/SLOW

SIZE/POSITION

SMALL

MEDIUM

LARGE

UP/DOWN

CENTER

TEMPERATURE

COLD

HOT

WARM

NEUTRAL

PAIN

INTENSE

MEDIUM

MILD

THROBBING

STABBING

MUSCLES

TIGHT

LOOSE

CALM

RIGID

BREATHING

RAPID

DEEP

SHALLOW

LIGHT

HEART

FAST

SLOW

RHYTHMIC

FLUTTERS

JITTERY

TASTE

SPICY

SWEET

SOUR

JUICY

BLAND

DENSITY

ROUGH

SMOOTH

THICK

THIN

WEIGHT

HEAVY

LIGHT

FIRM

GENTLE

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Decreasing Distress

• Skill 2: Resourcing
• Bringing to mind something or someone, real or imagined, internal or external
• Can be supportive person, place, idea, favorite sport, animal, family, faith, movie, character, celebrity, music, a prayer, an act of generosity, etc.
• Bringing this to mind can embody a sense of well-being

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Expanding the Sensory Experience of a Resource

SMELL

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SIGHT

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TOUCH

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TASTE

SOUND

PLACES

PEOPLE

TRADITIONS

RESOURCES can be anything that can give an individual a sense of joy, peace, or calm

ADAPTED BY TRI FROM AN ASPIRANET IDEA

FRIENDS

FAMILY

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Decreasing Distress

• Skill 3: Grounding
• The direct contact of the body or part of the body with something that provides support in the present moment
• Our gravitational security is the foundation upon which we build other relationships
• Physical security helps us be present in time and space, not worrying about the past or future

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YOU CAN GROUND IN MANY POSITIONS

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Decreasing Distress

• Skill 4: Gesturing & Spontaneous Movements
• Paying attention to self-soothing gestures can help calm us
• Paying attention to movements that express joy, courage, or power can help increase resilience

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Decreasing Distress

• Skill 5: HELP NOW! RESET NOW!
• A skillset that can quickly move someone back into a more regulated space
• Could be any of a huge number of tasks……

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HELP NOW! Strategies

• Drink a glass of water, juice, or tea
• Look around the room and pay attention
• Name six colors you see around you
• Count backwards from 10 as you walk around the room
• Touch different surfaces paying attention to the texture of the surfaces
• Notice the temperature in the room
• Notice the sounds within the room and outside
• Walk around while paying attention to the movement of your arms and legs, and how your feet make contact with the ground
• Push your hands against the wall and notice how your muscles feel

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Empathy

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Disgruntled, Upset, or Threatening Students

• Validate their feelings and try to understand their point of view, though you don’t need to agree with their stance
• “I can imagine how upsetting this must be. Let’s try and work together to figure this out.”
• Neither agree with distorted statements nor attempt to argue; avoid defensiveness
• Refrain from using words that may sound critical or judgmental such as: “you are overreacting”, “naïve”, “crazy” or “immature”
• Describe behaviors or signs that concern you
• “I want to continue this conversation, but please stop raising your voice so we can talk calmly and respectfully.”

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Disgruntled, Upset, or Threatening Students

• Avoid body language that may appear challenging such as placing your hands on your hips, moving into the other person’s personal space, or aggressive facial expressions.
• End the appointment if the person remains belligerent and does not respond to your efforts to quiet the confrontation
• Students feelings are okay, certain behaviors are not
• If they refuse, let them know “You can either calm down or I can have campus police escort you out.”
• Never physically touch an outraged person or try to force them to leave by yourself
• Develop a departmental plan to handle emergencies involving problematic student behavior

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Take Care of Yourself

• Maintain your own boundaries
• Avoid both over involvement and under involvement
• Relaxation resources
• Don’t meet with student alone if you feel unsafe
• You are not responsible for resolving their issues
• Focus on encouraging them to use support resources
• Consult, consult, consult!

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When to Refer Campus Counseling Center

• A student asks you about getting help
• You’re constantly in the role of “therapist” for the student
• Student shows a pattern of continued distress
• Concern that student is having a non-medical or non-life threatening urgent situation
• Medical or life-threatening emergencies – CALL 9-1-1 or go to Emergency Room

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How to Refer to Campus Counseling

• Non-emergencies
• Know about services offered
• Allow student to accept or refuse your suggestion
• Remind them, there is no commitment
• Particularly for students whose families/cultures within which there exists more stigma
• Inform them that services are free and confidential
• Call or walk in to make an appointment
• Provide phone number, location, and hours

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Resources

• Counseling Services
• Scheduled appointments
• Urgent walk-in hours
• After hours phone support
• Campus Police
• National Suicide Prevention Hotline – (800) 273-8255 (TALK)

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Thank you

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How to Approach Students

• Request to speak with them in private
• Allow for enough time for the conversation
• Communicate your concerns in a direct and non-judgmental way
• Try to avoid distractions
• Try to avoid suggesting “fix-its” and “giving the answer”
• You don’t want the responsibility

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Common Diagnostic Issues

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Suicidality
• Usually more about escaping emotional pain
• Asking about it won’t plant the idea
• May normalize talking about the issue
• Trauma
• Substance use
• Self-harm

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