1 of 32

Spiritual Resilience

FOL Digital Family Camp 2020

{

2 of 32

3 of 32

Stress

Any pressure or demand we put on our emotional or physical system.
Necessary and good!
Healthy!
The question is how much and how are you processing it?

4 of 32

What are some stressors that you are currently facing?

5 of 32

Stress & human functioning

Arousal

Intended performance

Actual performance

Fatigue point X

Healthy tension

Exhaustion

Ill health

Breakdown point

Experts in Stress describe it this way: Vertical axis is Performance, and Horizontal axis is Arousal, Demands. Eventually we reach the Fatigue Point.

Too little stress isn’t good…You get bored. You want to be in the “thriving zone” (between the vertical lines). Once you hit the fatigue point, you begin to go downhill on the graph from exhaustion, to ill health, to the breakdown point. Usually you get in the red zone through everyday stressors, not “the big stressor.”

By the time you get to the Breakdown point, you’ve been under too much stress for a long time. We want people functioning on the way up the curve (the Thriving Zone), not at the top Fatigue Point (“X”). Why not? You need to leave some cushion for unexpected stressors.

People going down the curve will often think they are doing OK, and they won’t see that their actual work is suffering. It is important to get feedback from people who are close to you about where THEY think you are on the curve. [This is an important piece of information if you want to gain a more accurate picture of yourself.]

Put yourself on the graph. DISCUSS

Ask someone who knows you well, if they are here, where they’d put you on the graph. (Or ask them later if they aren’t here).

If you’re on the downside. The first thing to do is to decrease demands. Maybe through focusing your commitments or through delegation. If you can’t do that, you’ll have to use other coping strategies, which we’ll look at more as we go along.

6 of 32

Types of Stress

Acute Stress
Chronic Stress
Second Hand Stress

How do we handle stress?

Fight
Flight
Freeze

7 of 32

Stress & human functioning

Arousal

Intended performance

Actual performance

Fatigue point X

Healthy tension

Exhaustion

Ill health

Breakdown point

Experts in Stress describe it this way: Vertical axis is Performance, and Horizontal axis is Arousal, Demands. Eventually we reach the Fatigue Point.

Too little stress isn’t good…You get bored. You want to be in the “thriving zone” (between the vertical lines). Once you hit the fatigue point, you begin to go downhill on the graph from exhaustion, to ill health, to the breakdown point. Usually you get in the red zone through everyday stressors, not “the big stressor.”

By the time you get to the Breakdown point, you’ve been under too much stress for a long time. We want people functioning on the way up the curve (the Thriving Zone), not at the top Fatigue Point (“X”). Why not? You need to leave some cushion for unexpected stressors.

People going down the curve will often think they are doing OK, and they won’t see that their actual work is suffering. It is important to get feedback from people who are close to you about where THEY think you are on the curve. [This is an important piece of information if you want to gain a more accurate picture of yourself.]

Put yourself on the graph. DISCUSS

Ask someone who knows you well, if they are here, where they’d put you on the graph. (Or ask them later if they aren’t here).

If you’re on the downside. The first thing to do is to decrease demands. Maybe through focusing your commitments or through delegation. If you can’t do that, you’ll have to use other coping strategies, which we’ll look at more as we go along.

8 of 32

Identify your Stress Signature

Avoidant

Ruminative

Hypervigilant

To develop an effective resilience plan, you need to understand what your own stress coping style is.

Four stress signatures, but we’ll focus on the three major ones:

Avoidant: This coping style means when high demand causes the stress to arise, the tendency is not to deal with the emotional, by engaging themselves into the work of solving the problem. (ex. If a family member dies, you go into grief/sadness, but the avoidant person goes into “work mode.” Funeral arrangements, contacting everyone, etc. They use the task to avoid dealing with the emotion. What you have to be careful of is NEVER dealing with the emotion. You can have so much pent up, unprocessed stuff that you explode. The advantage of this coping style is being able to be stable, serve others and move forward in the midst of stress. You need to have some downtime to process your emotions. KEY: You need consistent down time. Establish a process and a pattern.
Ruminative: This coping style means, when the stress is there, they feel it. They are totally in it. And it stays with them. The stress thoughts keep intruding into your mental space or what you should be doing. They tend to be good at creative problem solving. Good with problems and mysteries. They get “ah-ha” moments, moments of inspiration, because their brain never lets go. The danger of ruminating is burn out. Their brain never lets go. They never stop. If on your Sabbath, you don’t engage in something else, if you are just kicking back and doing nothing, it won’t get your mind off of it. This person has to watch TV or do something else in their down time because that is the way they get their mind off of the stuff they are ruminating on. Whereas an avoidant person may look for uninterrupted free space to de-stress, precisely so they can have the process of reflection they have been “avoiding” by going into work mode.
Hypervigilant: The person who, when it is really bad, the demand is really high, they rise to the occasion. The more intense it gets, the more they rise to the occasion. Physiological response: their endocrine system kicks in, and they are really good in high intensity situations. Make good ER people, good first responder, crisis situation people. But you cannot hang out and live there. [Maureen’s example of her ER colleagues who did things like bungie jumping in their free time…still in adrenalin mode.] Because it takes such a toll physically. This is where thrill seekers are, because it’s the only way they can get another dose of adrenaline and feel alive. You are running on cortisol. You’ve gotta have physical exercise regimen to bring the cortisol down.

Need to REST during your Sabbath, in a way that FITS YOU. Respect the Sabbath needs of others, and seek to help each other under stress. Everyone needs rhythmic rest and space to process, fun activities and restful diversions that help you disengage, and exercise. But each type needs one of these things MORE than the others in order to cope with stress.

Dissociative: This is the least common and more concerning. Under high stress, high demand, you split, you shut down, you check out and don’t know what is going on. The only good thing about it is, if you are being horribly abused and there is nothing you can do about it, you can go to another place. Or you are about to die horribly and you don’t want to feel it. It enables survival in extreme situations and therefore it can be a part of anyone’s toolbox of coping mechanisms. The person stops functioning, they don’t know where they are. They become a liability to themselves and others with them in an emergency if the solution is to run, fight, or think their way out of danger.

9 of 32

Avoidant

set the emotions aside and focus on solutions, bring stability and help, but danger is never engaging emotions which leads to escapism and self-medicating

10 of 32

Ruminative

Engage the stress, feel it, in it, stress thoughts persistently intrude your mental space, leads to creative problem solving, inspiration, aha moments, but the downside is it’s very hard to turn off your brain and that can be exhausting

11 of 32

Hypervigilant

The more intense the crisis the more these folks rise to the occasion, first responders, crisis managers, they thrive in crisis until they don’t. The cumulative affect eventually catches up to them and will create a crisis in itself

12 of 32

Breakout Rooms

Where are you at on the curve currently and why?
Which stress signature do you most identify with?

13 of 32

Psalm 6:1-3

1 O Lord, rebuke me not in your anger,

nor discipline me in your wrath.

2 Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am languishing;

heal me, O Lord, for my bones are troubled.

3 My soul also is greatly troubled.

But you, O Lord—how long?

14 of 32

RESILIENCE

15 of 32

Resilience

The ability to learn, adapt and grow in meaningful ways in response to the adversity we experience in our lives.

16 of 32

“You know we’re just not reaching that guy…."

17 of 32

Physical Health & Resilience

RUN

18 of 32

Physical Health in Resilience

Emotional agitation: short temper, anxious, depressed.
Prone to conflict, withdrawal, or both.
A feeling of no room inside, everything affects us, no shock absorbers.
Memory problems.

Indecisive: everything is important and nothing is important. Priorities go off-line.
Self-medicating with alcohol, tobacco, drugs or sex.
Intrusive thoughts, avoidance.
Feeling mistrustful and paranoid.

Red Flags: Signs the brain is under too much stress:

19 of 32

Phsyical Health in Resilience

Aerobic Exercise 20 min/day 4-5 times per week
Sleep 7-8 hours

20 of 32

Relational Health & Resilience

RELATE

21 of 32

Relational Health & Resilience

Relational Red Flags

Negative thought patterns towards others: (e.g. I don’t feel I can trust people, Others will let me down, no one cares, I’m afraid of being vulnerable as I will get hurt, etc.)

22 of 32

Relational Health & Resilience

Take inventory of the supportive relationships you have in your life. Are you cultivating these relationships?

23 of 32

Breakout Rooms

What are the physical and relational practices you can put into place to build resilience?

24 of 32

Spiritual Health

Rest, Recentering and Remembering

25 of 32

Spiritual Health and Resilience

Red Flags

What personal thought patterns indicate you’ve moved from a posture of friend of God to a slave of God?
What are your indications when you have lost a sense of gratitude for the work and are doing it out of duty?

26 of 32

Spiritual Health and Resilience

Sabbath
Communal Practice
Personal Practice

27 of 32

Stress–Response Styles and the Sabbath

Avoidant --- needs a Sabbath (regular down time) where they let their emotions come to the surface, reflect, process. May need help with this.
Ruminative --- needs a Sabbath where they “get away” from their own internal process, such as exercise, travel, fun, entertainment, different people.
Hyper-vigilant --- needs to be especially diligent with daily rest and exercise (due to their cortisol levels) and may need longer breaks regularly; a physiological toll is taken on the body if they are in crisis situations for too long.

28 of 32

Spiritual Practices

Communal

Mobile Life Group
Prayer Group

Personal

Scripture (study or devotional)
Centering or Breath Prayer
Fixed hour prayer
Inner Healing Prayer or Direction
Examen

29 of 32

Scripture Devotional

Pick a book of the bible (recommend Psalms)
Read the passage through 4 times

First read: Lord let me be present to your Word
Second Read: Lord, what word or phrase do you have for me?
Third read: Lord, what do you want to say to me through this word or phrase?
Fourth Read: Lord, how are you inviting me to respond to you?

30 of 32

Examen

Take a couple deep breathes, become aware that the Holy Spirit is present with you, he is closer to you than the air you breath.
Gratitude:

What was something today that you are grateful for?
Thank God for the gift of that moment, person, experience….

Review:

Where did I experience God’s presence or experience joy today?
Where did I experience God’s absence or where was I troubled?

Look ahead:

What do I hope for for the day to come? What emotions am I feeling about the future? Put your request before the Lord. See what he has to say in response.

Thank God for his presence with you in this prayer.

31 of 32

Breakout Rooms

How can I build sabbath rest into my life that addresses my unique response to stress?

What spiritual practice do I want to put into place?

32 of 32

Daniel’s Resiliency Plan

Physical

Run 3-5 times per week
Try to go to sleep by 10:30 p.m.

Relational

Pray with ______ monthly.
Set aside time to pray and process with Sarah

Spiritual

Mobile Life Group
Psalms Study
Spiritual Direction