Positive Philosophy

Meditation for Happiness

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OLLI

Fall 2024

Day 1

Breathe.

Agenda

• Beginning Meditation Review
• Buddhist Philosphy Basics
• The 4 Divine Abodes
• Loving Kindness
• What it is
• Practice: Connect to your goodness
• What it isn’t/Barriers/Difficulties
• Strategies for practice
• Create your phrases
• Questions/Discussion
• Guided Meditation: Metta meditation.

REVIEW

STRATEGIES

• Focus on the breath, overall or specific sensations in your body, be where your feet are.
• Exhale to relax.
• Notice your thoughts. Be an observer of your mind.
• Take it moment by moment; notice changes.

STRATEGIES FOR DISCOMFORT

Put the discomfort in the context of the whole body.

Move to a different area of the body/mind that is at ease. (A good memory)

Anchor in a easy place, just touch the edge of pain, go back and forth between pain and ease.

Offer compassion and validation.

Connect to the breath, use breathing strategies.

SELF-COMPASSION

Self-kindness: be a good friend to yourself, kind & gentle

Common humanity: all beings feel this way from time to time, suffering is normal part of life

Mindfulness: bring awareness to your suffering, be present and observe thoughts and feelings

Places for Escape

• Consider your Window of Tolerance and stay inside of that window.
• In the Window of Tolerance:
• We’re regulated.
• Not necessarily comfortable, but not at all shut down.
• We feel we can tolerate what is happening.
• Flip our lids: dysregulation, feels like too much, reacting, flooded

Places for Escape

• Open your eyes.
• Feel your body in the chair/on the floor.
• Think about a loving and peaceful person, memory, or place where you are at ease and safe.
• Get up and walk around.
• Hand on your heart. Soothe.
• Stick with what’s manageable.

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BUDDHIST PHILOSOPHY BASICS

DALAI LAMA

•  I don't know whether the universe, with its countless galaxies, stars and planets, has a deeper meaning or not, but at the very least, it is clear that we humans who live on this earth face the task of making a happy life for ourselves.
• I have found that the greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater our own sense of well-being becomes.

DALAI LAMA

• It doesn't matter how many universes are out there, it doesn't matter how many people are out there. We have no control over that. What we can control is our own mind. Everything that Buddha teaches is basically: return to your mind. We don't have to do anything. We already know everything is changing—one thing leads to the next, it's endless. We don't have to run after that. What we have to do is return to ourselves.

THE FOUR NOBLE TRUTHS

• Suffering is normal.
• The origin of suffering is craving. Craving can never be satisfied, because everything is impermanent, always changing. We try to cling to pleasure and avoid pain, but everything changes. Life is unsatisfactory.
• The way to stop suffering to let go of craving.
• There is a process for letting go of craving: The Noble Eightfold Path or studying the Four Immeasurables/The Four Divine Abodes/The Brahmaviharas.

THE BRAHMAVIHARAS

• LOVING KINDNESS
• COMPASSION
• SYMPATHETIC JOY
• EQUANIMITY

LOVE IS THE DEFAULT.

• We are born loving.
• Then life happens and we are socialized into believing that we are separate people, struggling to survive in a wilderness full of limited resources.
• Our hearts get broken and we shut down.
• We become self-centered, envious, greedy, angry, in pain…these are delusions.
• When we realize that we are all connected, recognize our common humanity, we can drop the delusions.

FOUR REMINDERS

• Life is precious and rare. What are you going to do with it?
• Death is inevitable. Everything is impermanent. Why not do what really matters right now?
• Our everyday thoughts and actions are powerful. Why not take our power more seriously?
• Suffering is inescapable. Why would you add to it by beating yourself up? Why add to it by harming others?

KARMA

• Take our power seriously.
• Everything we do leaves ripples in the pond of our lives.
• We are attending to our highest self, which then serves to free others to be their highest selves.
• Plant good seeds.

THE 4 DIVINE ABODES

BRAHMAVIHARAS

• Vihara – word for home or house, where one abides
• Brahma – name of the king of the gods
• The Divine Abodes
• The Four Immeasurables
• Qualities or virtues we can cultivate through specific practices.
• We all have these qualities.

The Brahmaviharas

• We’re connecting with countless beings who have taken as their aspiration in life to cultivate a wise heart.
• We can connect with them and all beings through these practices.

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Interrelated…

Out of the soil of loving-kindness

Grows the beautiful bloom of compassion

To be watered by tears of joy

Under the cool shade of the tree of equanimity.

Longchenpa

LOVING KINDNESS

Metta: Loving-Kindness

• Cultivate unconditional friendliness – to yourself and others.
• Heartfelt yearning and vision for yourself and others to experience happiness and causes of happiness.
• A gentle rain of kindness…

Maitri/Metta: �Loving-Kindness

• A basic orientation toward warmth and goodwill that we bring to all beings.
• It is the foundation of everything else.
• When it meets/it becomes:
• Pain/compassion
• Beauty/joy
• As we practice and are able to maintain loving-kindness in all situations, it’s equanimity.
• It starts with yourself.

Brief Practice

Remembering the Good Within You

Metta: Difficulties

• Opposite: ill-will, hate, schadenfreude
• Near Enemy: a pushover, nicey-nice, self-centeredness, pity
• Bless Her Heart…
• Remedy: equanimity
• It can be hard to love yourself.
• When you love judging as much as I do…
• Difficult people…

“It might feel like stretching into make-believe to say, ‘May this person who is driving me crazy enjoy happiness and be free of suffering.’

Probably what we genuinely feel is anger. This practice is like a workout that stretches the heart beyond its current capabilities.

We can expect to encounter resistance. We discover that we have our limits: we can stay open to some people, but we remain closed to others. We see both our clarity and our confusion.

We are learning firsthand what everyone who has ever set out on this path has learned: we are all a paradoxical bundle of rich potential that consists of both neurosis and wisdom.”

Metta: Loving-Kindness

• Set an intention to do so, over time, we become more inclined this way.
• All others – even those we loathe…
• All “bad behavior” comes from suffering – let’s send loving-kindness to all people, even ourselves, giving everyone the benefit of the doubt.

Metta: Loving-Kindness

May I be loving, open, and aware in this moment;�If I cannot be loving, open, and aware in this moment, may I be kind;�If I cannot be kind, may I be nonjudgmental;�If I cannot be nonjudgmental, may I not cause harm;�If I cannot not cause harm, may I cause the least harm possible.

Thus, even in my imperfections, even in my failures, I can still incline my heart toward freedom.

Larry Yang

(May they be happy ANYWAY…)

Metta: Loving-Kindness

• Practice consists of repeating phrases.
• Spend some time choosing the phrases that work for you.

May you be safe.

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you live with ease.

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Metta: Loving-Kindness

Practices

• As I’m walking out in the world, I look at people at send the phrases to them. I like to do it in traffic.
• Pay attention to our hands – what our hands are doing – are we opening doors for people? Did we wave at our neighbor? Are we handling things carefully? Small kindnesses often happen with our hands.
• Some days, it’s my whole meditation.

DISCUSSION

Guidelines

• Speak about yourself only.
• Don’t give each other advice. Practice mindful listening.
• Recognize there are only a few people in the room, but many more online. Further, the recording of this session will be available in a library.
• Take home learning, but don’t identify anyone when you talk about it later. Observe the confidentiality of our space.
• We are all growing. Celebrate the victories.

Questions?�Comments?

MEDITATION: METTA

METTA MEDITATION

Evoke the feeling of someone you love in an uncomplicated way. An easy person.

Say the phrases over and over directed at that person.

From there, you have options:

• Stick with easy people.
• Go to yourself.
• Choose a neutral person.
• Choose a slightly irritating person.
• Choose someone who are having a really hard time with.
• Today, I’ll direct you to do an easy person, yourself, and all beings.

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IN SUM…

In Sum…

• The 4 divine abodes are practices and intentions that cultivate peace and happiness, that allow us to be more present to our own lives and the lives of others.
• We train in them. Little by little. Over time, we find our capacity grows.
• Loving kindness is unconditional friendliness to yourself and others.

MEDITATION RX

1. Keep breathing!
2. Treat yourself with kindness. Send yourself some metta.
3. As much as possible, treat others with kindness. Try sending some metta out into the world this week and see what you feel like.
4. Keep in touch!

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