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Restoring the caregiver

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With

Emmanuel Church Plymouth

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Agreeing together

  • Many of us carry trauma – respect each other
  • Listen to your nervous system
  • What do you need? - safety and choice
  • A reminder about confidentiality

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Workshop

10:00 Working from rest- What gets in the way?

11:00 Coffee

11:30 Learning to play, co-regulate and refill your buckets

13:00 Finish 

Trauma informed practices for sustainable ministry

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You will come away from this workshop:

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With tips to build healthy relational supports

With ideas to enrich your environment with nurturing sensory supports

Able to discuss what the biblical concept of working from rest looks like

Able to identify what takes you out of your own window of tolerance

With practical ideas to promote spiritual refreshment

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Inter-generational trauma

Chronic or complex trauma: multiple and prolonged exposure

One off shock trauma

Developmental trauma

Vicarious

trauma

Collective

trauma

Secondary trauma

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Biblical model

  • Jesus modelled self-care: He often withdrew to pray and rest (Luke 5:16).
  • Caring for the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
  • The Sabbath principle: God’s design for rest and restoration (Exodus 20:8-10).

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Working from rest

What is your definition of rest?

What is the bible’s definition of rest?

  • Psalm 37: 7
  • Hebrews 4: 9- 11
  • Isaiah 30:15
  • Matthew 11:28

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What are the challenges to working from rest and maintaining good self-care?

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What Drives us?

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  • Compassion, or the desire to free others from their pain and suffering is a trademark of caring professionals*

  • Fatigue is cumulative

  • Learn to spot the signs of burnout

* Figley & Roop, 2006

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Compassion fatigue

and burnout

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Trauma informed:

Relationships

Environment

Activities

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You are said to be the sum of the five people closest to you

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Jim Rohn

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Attachment

Secure attachment = secure base

To explore, fail, learn

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Attachment is a lifelong interpersonal strategy to respond to threat or danger which reflects an intrapersonal strategy for processing information.

Baim 2020

Attachment

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Impact of our Attachment Strategies

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  • Attachment is necessary for felt safety
  • Attachment impacts all of our relationships
  • Attachment impacts how we experience sensory input

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Attachment�Strategies

Based on the Dynamic Maturational Model of attachment (DMM): Crittenden 2016

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  • Core beliefs that I am not good enough
  • A lack of self trust
  • Unhealthy bonds with others that are based on those wrong belief systems
  • A sense that anyone who disagrees with me is against me or a threat to me

Trauma and maladaptive attachment create:

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You might reject me

If I am helpful all the time, others will want to be with me and won’t turn against me

If I work hard I will be liked

If I smile and look happy you will like me, but sometimes my anger leaks out because inside I am cross

If I keep busy, I won’t be any bother

What is behind the strategy?

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You might leave me

If I am charming you will pay lots of attention to me

If I am needy others will pay attention

If I am loud others will keep noticing me

If I make people laugh you will keep noticing me

What is behind the strategy?

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I know I am loved and have my needs met

What I feel and think are both important to others

I am accepted for who I am not what I do

It feels safe to express my wants and needs.

I feel able to explore new things because I know I am safe and secure in who I am

How ever I behave I am still loved

What is behind the strategy?

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Accountability and Supervision

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Features of supervision

  • Collaborative
  • Supportive

Purpose

  • Promoting personal growth
  • Reflect on practice
  • Maintaining and improving standards
  • Protection

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Break

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Co-regulation is when two people are in sync with each other and are each helping the other to feel calm. They can then be ready to engage with others and focus on their daily activities.

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Be Self-aware

  • We can’t regulate someone else if we are not regulated

  • Self compassion is needed

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Up - regulation

Down - regulation

Window of

Tolerance

Supporting safety

Window of

Tolerance

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Up- regulation

  • Fast pace activity
  • Loud, fast music
  • Bright light, especially daylight
  • Cold drinks
  • Caffeine
  • Crunchy, spicy or tangy foods

Down – regulation

  • Calm, slower music
  • Breathing exercises
  • Activities against resistance
  • Cosy, calm spaces
  • Soft fabric/sequin cushion to stroke
  • Pets
  • Rhythm and movement
  • Chewy foods

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Window of

Tolerance

Activities to support

Do you need a calming, alerting or organising activity?

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Feeling safe

Cues of danger

Cues of safety

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What helps me feel just right?

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What do you think play is?

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Top up your tanks

Three buckets

Physical

Emotional

/relational

Spiritual

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Healthy mind platter

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Dan Siegel

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Trauma informed:

Relationships

Environment

Activities

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Create a nurturing environment

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What supports could you add into your world as cues of safety? (activities, relationally and environment)

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“Thinkers” – you have 3 minutes to consider your self-care.

“Listeners”

Listen! You could prompt with “What can you do to take better care of yourself?”

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“Thinkers” – listen to the listener’s feedback.

“Listeners”

You have 30 seconds to say: “What I appreciate about what you said is..”

BE Sincere, Specific,

Succinct

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  • Burnout Prevention 
  • Sustainable Service
  • Spiritual Vitality
  • Healthy Boundaries

Benefits of self care

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When to reach out for help

  • If you have had 2 or more weeks where you have had changes of mood, thoughts or body that make it difficult to function in your daily living activities and relationships.
  • If you are very tense, vigilant and nervous.
  • Feelings of panic or terror.
  • Sleep disruption, including nightmares
  • Feelings of hopelessness
  • Feelings of isolation
  • Suicidal thoughts

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We would love your feedback please!

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Further resources

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Organisational Consultation

Resources

One off training

  • On site
  • Remotely

Monthly webinars

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