Restoring the caregiver
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With
Emmanuel Church Plymouth
© Ruth Stephens, Join the Dots
Agreeing together
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Workshop
10:00 Working from rest- What gets in the way?
11:00 Coffee
11:30 Learning to play, co-regulate and refill your buckets
13:00 Finish
Trauma informed practices for sustainable ministry
© Ruth Stephens, Join the Dots
You will come away from this workshop:
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With tips to build healthy relational supports
With ideas to enrich your environment with nurturing sensory supports
Able to discuss what the biblical concept of working from rest looks like
Able to identify what takes you out of your own window of tolerance
With practical ideas to promote spiritual refreshment
© Ruth Stephens, Join the Dots
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Inter-generational trauma
Chronic or complex trauma: multiple and prolonged exposure
One off shock trauma
Developmental trauma
Vicarious
trauma
Collective
trauma
Secondary trauma
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Biblical model
�
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Working from rest
What is your definition of rest?
What is the bible’s definition of rest?
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What are the challenges to working from rest and maintaining good self-care?
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What Drives us?
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* Figley & Roop, 2006
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Compassion fatigue
and burnout
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Trauma informed:
Relationships
Environment
Activities
© Ruth Stephens, Join the Dots
You are said to be the sum of the five people closest to you
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Jim Rohn
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Attachment
Secure attachment = secure base
To explore, fail, learn
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Attachment is a lifelong interpersonal strategy to respond to threat or danger which reflects an intrapersonal strategy for processing information.
Baim 2020
Attachment
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Impact of our Attachment Strategies
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Attachment�Strategies
Based on the Dynamic Maturational Model of attachment (DMM): Crittenden 2016
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Trauma and maladaptive attachment create:
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You might reject me
If I am helpful all the time, others will want to be with me and won’t turn against me
If I work hard I will be liked
If I smile and look happy you will like me, but sometimes my anger leaks out because inside I am cross
If I keep busy, I won’t be any bother
What is behind the strategy?
© Ruth Stephens, Join the Dots
You might leave me
If I am charming you will pay lots of attention to me
If I am needy others will pay attention
If I am loud others will keep noticing me
If I make people laugh you will keep noticing me
What is behind the strategy?
© Ruth Stephens, Join the Dots
I know I am loved and have my needs met
What I feel and think are both important to others
I am accepted for who I am not what I do
It feels safe to express my wants and needs.
I feel able to explore new things because I know I am safe and secure in who I am
How ever I behave I am still loved
What is behind the strategy?
© Ruth Stephens, Join the Dots
Accountability and Supervision
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Features of supervision
Purpose
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Break
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Co-regulation is when two people are in sync with each other and are each helping the other to feel calm. They can then be ready to engage with others and focus on their daily activities.
© Ruth Stephens, Join the Dots
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Be Self-aware
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Up - regulation
Down - regulation
Window of
Tolerance
Supporting safety
Window of
Tolerance
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Up- regulation
Down – regulation
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Window of
Tolerance
Activities to support
Do you need a calming, alerting or organising activity?
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Feeling safe
Cues of danger
Cues of safety
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What helps me feel just right?
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What do you think play is?
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Top up your tanks
Three buckets
Physical
Emotional
/relational
Spiritual
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Healthy mind platter
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Dan Siegel
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Trauma informed:
Relationships
Environment
Activities
© Ruth Stephens, Join the Dots
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Create a nurturing environment
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What supports could you add into your world as cues of safety? (activities, relationally and environment)
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“Thinkers” – you have 3 minutes to consider your self-care.
“Listeners”
Listen! You could prompt with “What can you do to take better care of yourself?”
© Ruth Stephens, Join the Dots
“Thinkers” – listen to the listener’s feedback.
“Listeners”
You have 30 seconds to say: “What I appreciate about what you said is..”
BE Sincere, Specific,
Succinct
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Benefits of self care
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When to reach out for help
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We would love your feedback please!
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Further resources
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Organisational Consultation
Resources
One off training
Monthly webinars
© Ruth Stephens, Join the Dots