Ranking the Presidents of the United States
Based on how good I think they’d be at giving head
By Alice
George Washington
First of all- dentures?
Second of all- revolutionary war- had a lot on his mind
Idk he probably didn’t care about Martha and just �wanted a cum n go
Fingernails were probably dirty
FINAL SCORE: 3/10
Thomas Jefferson
-Ugly
-Mean
-Smelled bad because they didn’t �have showers back then
FINAL SCORE: 2/10
Martin van Bussy
According to my family we’re his direct ancestors but we actually have no evidence to support this claim
Probably a freak
Once kept a tiger cub as a pet so he might �have been compensating a little
Accomplished nothing during his presidency
FINAL SCORE: 6/10
Abraham Lickin
-Sexy
-Hat
-The union won!
-Piercing eyes
- “This evening, John Wilkes Booth murdered my husband. As the nation mourns its president, I mourn the late nights where Abe just completely fucking wrecked me, and gave me sloppy so good I forgot there was a civil war going on” - Mary Todd Lincoln
FINAL SCORE: 8.5/10
Harry Truman
-Hubba hubba!
-Tried to give his wife head �once but she had to ask him to stop
-That’s true I read it in a jstor article
FINAL SCORE: He tried! 6/10
John Fuck Klittity
-He was murdered for giving head too well.
-If he kept giving head at that rate he would’ve stolen all of America’s most valuable resources- MILFs
-”We killed him because he was too powerful, too cute, and that tongue do too much” - The FBI � -That’s true, I read it in a jstor article
FINAL SCORE: 10/10 good job!
Ronny Reagan
Tried to give Nancy head once but started crying because he thought God wouldn’t forgive him
I wish Reagan could come back to life so that I could kill him with my own two hands
FINAL SCORE: -2000000/10 fuck you
Bill Clit On
I dont trust this man
Will only give you head on your birthday
Probably thinks “why is it looking at me” �when he sees a vagina
You can’t play the saxophone and �also be good at head you have to pick one
Final score: 5.5/10
George Bush the second one
-Read once in a Cosmo article that women like it when you hum into their vagina
-Laura didn’t
-Laura isn’t really down for sex outside of procreation
Obama
“Michelle’s pleasure is very important to me”
Believes sex is about the journey, not�the arrival
He’s only allowed to give Michelle �head on his birthday
FINAL SCORE: 7/10
Honorable Mention
Every president that never fucked
Which president gave the BEST head?
THe answer is clear
JIMMY CARTER
-Incredibly sexy �-Modest �-It was the 70s �-Had a very long tongue �-I didn’t read this in a jstor article �-I just have an inclination
FINAL SCORE: 300/10 take me Jimmy!
Thanks for watching i hope you learned something :)