STRATEGIES AND CHALLENGES FOR ENGAGING MEN AS ALLIES IN ENDING VIOLENCE �AGAINST WOMEN AND GIRLS

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Contexts for Engaging Men

Women’s Rights & VAWG

Violence Prevention

Health

Parenting

& Child Raising

Youth Development

Engaging Men

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Men and VAWG

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Why Engage Men in Ending VAWG?

• Violence against women and girls is largely perpetrated by men.
• Masculinity plays a crucial role in men’s perpetration of physical and sexual assault
• Men’s resistance can undermine programs for women’s safety and empowerment.
• Men have a positive role to play in helping to end men’s violence.

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Why Engage Men?

• Men possess an insider’s knowledge about men and masculinity.
• Men act as role models for other men and boys by practicing non-violence and demonstrating respect for women.
• Men are likely to be listened to more by other men.
• Men working with men lessen the demands on women to challenge men’s violence.

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Why Not Engage Men?

• Funding for women’s programs and services will be reduced.
• The focus on women and girls will be diminished.
• Women’s participation will decrease as men get involved.
• Men will take over the program.
• Men’s violence will be excused.
• Men will get more attention than women.
• Men will not be trustworthy.

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

�MEN’S RESPONSES TO GBV PROGRAMS�

​

Resistance Engagement

Active Passive Passive Active

Individual

Collective

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Roles of Men in Violence Prevention

• Role models in community education
• Lead men’s groups for behavior change.
• Anti-violence campaign organizers and activists
• Workshop facilitators
• Facilitators of boys programs
• Policy makers and program administrators
• Interventionist bystanders
• Egalitarian and non-violent men in families

​

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Stages of Male Involvement

Personal change

Role model for family and friends

Speak out in community

Advocate for social change

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Men’s Change Process

Training

Attitude changes

Conflicts with old behaviors

New levels of ownership and behavior change

Confrontation & mentoring

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Obstacles for Reaching Men

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Barriers to Men’s Engagement

• Lack of support
• No role models
• Not knowing what to do
• Not fitting in with the men they know.
• Not wanting to look “foolish,” “feminine,” or too sensitive
• Guilt about challenging others about behavior that they may have done themselves

​

​

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Barriers to Men’s Engagement

• Fear:
• Of the intensity of the issues
• Of giving up male privilege
• Of facing men’s anger
• Of being labeled a traitor by other men
• Of being labeled “gay” (when men stand up for women, they are often baited with being called gay)
• Anger:
• About the issues
• At themselves
• At other men

​

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Strategies for Reaching Men

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Reasons Why Men Change

• Fear of social sanctions (social, institutional)
• Personal wellbeing (negative effects on men’s health and wellbeing in the current system)
• Relational interests (men’s relationships with women as wives, partners, mothers, daughters, colleagues and friends)
• Collective interests (gender equality is relevant to the wider community or society in which men live)
• Principle (men challenge gender inequality for political and ethical principles related to social justice).

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Men’s Power & Control with Women

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Types of Power

Power Over

​

​

Power Within

​

​

Power With

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Causes of Men’s Violence �Against Women

• Feelings of powerlessness resulting from historical experiences of trauma
• Social permission and encouragement for dominating forms of male power
• Cultural and institutional inequality of women and girls
• Protection of male privilege

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Cures for Ending Men’s Violence �Against Women

• Men and women breaking silence about violence
• Healing men’s historical trauma
• Positive male role models demonstrating healthy empowerment and equality with women
• Men joining together in alliance with women
• Social sanctions against VAWG
• Social norms of non-violence, human rights, and positive masculinity
• Gender equality

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

STRATEGIES AND CHALLENGES FOR ENGAGING MEN AS ALLIES IN ENDING VIOLENCE �AGAINST WOMEN AND GIRLS��Day Two

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Beliefs about men

​

• Men are naturally loving, caring and sensitive with other men, with women and with children.

​

• Men are trained to be masculine in a way that leads to confusion, repression, isolation and domination.

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Beliefs about men

​

• All men have been profoundly impacted by violence and abuse. This may be in our families, on the street, through the media, war, racism, classism, homophobia, etc.

​

• Men are both privileged and damaged by masculinity and violence.

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Beliefs about men

​

• Violence and domination against women, children and other men are used by men to control feelings of fear and powerlessness, and to protect cultural and institutional privileges.

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Beliefs about men

• Men can play an important role in ending violence in our families, communities, and in the world.

​

• By connecting with other men and with women about our own experiences with violence and with privilege, men become empowered to join with women to challenge violence and oppression.

​

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Cycle of Male Socialization

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Men’s Consciousness Raising

Dominating Positive

Masculinity Masculinity

TRANSFORMATION

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Male Involvement Program Model

Women’s and Men’s Collaborations

• Cross-gender dialogue
• Collaborative community projects

Women’s Services

• Survivor services
• Advocacy
• Economic development
• Leadership development

Male Involvement

• Awareness programs
• Ally Training

Program Mission

Women’s Safety & Empowerment

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Male Involvement Objectives

• Men treat women with respect
• Men behave outside of traditional gender roles
• Women welcome, challenge and support men as allies
• Men’s and women’s perceptions of masculinity changes
• Men and women challenge norms, behaviors and institutional practices
• Community leaders act as allies with women

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Principles for Engaging Men : �Affirmation

• Emphasize the important role men can play in ending violence against women.
• Affirm men’s inherent compassion and desire for connection with women, children and other men.

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Principles for Engaging Men : �Awareness

• Broaden our understanding of violence to include domination, abuse and neglect.
• Expose the costs and benefits of conformity to masculine domination and violence.
• Help men understand the connections between their own experiences with violence and ending violence against women.

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Principles for Engaging Men : �Skills

• Help men practice listening to women and other men with compassion.
• Teach men to talk vulnerably about their own experiences with violence.
• Teach men to be proud and powerful allies with women.
• Provide opportunities for women to witness and support men as they learn to challenge violence and domination.

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Principles for Engaging Men : �Action

• Provide specific actions for men to take toward ending violence against women.
• Promote the development of men’s action groups to work in alliance with women.
• Organize collective actions of men and women to challenge violence.

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Continuum of Agency Readiness

Opposed

Resistant

Uninterested

Ambivalent

Interested but

unprepared

Interested but

hesitant

Interested but

overtaxed

Ready and

engaged

Experienced leader

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Men’s Pledge

We, men of the world, are publicly stating our commitment to ending violence against women. We understand the pain of women and men, and the costs to society, caused by this violence. For the health of our families and the future of our communities, we pledge to challenge gender-based violence in its many forms, and to support women’s safety and empowerment. We will work together with women for legal protections and social services for victims, and educational programs for violence prevention and gender equality. We will be role models of positive masculinity for our children in our words and actions. And we invite other men to join us in this pledge.

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

Women’s Pledge

We women of the world, call upon our fathers, brothers, husbands and sons to join us in ending gender-based violence in our families and communities. We understand the pain of women and men, and the costs to society, caused by this violence. We support men in their own journey of healing from violence, and welcome men as partners in creating healthy families and communities.

www.MensResourcesInternational.org

THANK YOU !��Steven Botkin SDBotkin@mensresourcesinternational.org��James Arana�JArana@mensresourcesinternational.org�

www.MensResourcesInternational.org