MASTERING LISTENING, EMPATHY AND TRUST

Prof. Massimo Malanchini

Associazione Formazione Professionale del Patronato San Vincenzo, Bergamo, IT

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EXPRESS, COMMUNICATE AND RECOGNIZE EMOTIONS.

THE VALUE OF EMPATHY

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Empathy, active listening and EU civic competences

Why empathy and active listening are important for RAINBOW project?

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The European Union highlights the importance of developing civic competences.

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Among the civic competences the EU lists there are:

• communicate: being able to communicate feelings, minds and ideas;
• collaboration and participation: being able to collaborate with other people and peers and to manage the conflict;
• act independently and in a responsible way: respecting my mind and others.

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Empathy, active listening and EU civic competences

Why empathy and active listening are important for RAINBOW project?

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Those competencies highlight a tight link between “word”, “self-expression” and “relation” with other people/ peers. Those skills are important to be and become an EU citizen and to stimulate an active citizenship, as they enable people to meet each other, to communicate and to meet others in a valuable and respectful way.

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Moreover, being aware of “the right way” to communicate helps people to counter hate speech and discriminations and prevent the misuse of verbal communication, non-verbal communication and related symbolism and media products (such as photos and videos).

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CONTENTS OF THE TRAINING

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CONTENTS:

1. Training Objectives, Expected Learning Outcomes & Targeted skills
2. Conceptual framework
3. Description of the activity
4. Summary of the lesson plan
5. Sources

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1. TRAINING OBJECTIVES, EXPECTED LEARNING OUTCOMES &TARGETED SKILLS

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1. TRAINING OBJECTIVES

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• Understand what communication is;
• Understand the mechanisms of verbal and non verbal communication;
• Understand the meaning of emotional intelligence and empathy;
• Understand the value and the role of empathy in communication;
• Understand and recognize the differences between direct communication and digital communication.

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1. EXPECTED LEARNING OUTCOMES

This teachers’ training develops participants competences and skills in expressing, communicating and recognizing emotions and feelings with empathy and in a “non-violent” way, respecting other people's minds. This will be possible by practical playing with verbal and non-verbal communication and experimenting how they work in relation with feelings and emotion.

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By the end of the workshop, participants will be more aware on how to manage their relationships in a more empathic and trusting way and they are able to answer to the following essential questions:

• How can I express/communicate my emotions and my feelings?
• How can I recognize other people’s emotions and feelings?
• How can I show trust or trust in each other?

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1. THE TARGETED SKILLS

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• Interact and communicate with others using verbal and non-verbal codes with greater awareness;
• Express emotions and ideas in an effective and constructive way;
• Address social relationships with attention and respect for others’ emotions and ideas;
• Communicate on the internet with greater awareness and social responsibility.

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2. CONCEPTUAL FRAMEWORK

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EXPRESS, COMMUNICATE AND RECOGNIZE EMOTIONS.

THE VALUE OF EMPATHY

“Empathy is the medicine the world needs”.

Judith Orloff

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The key feature of the virtual world is to minimize the possibility of comparison: in the virtual world, the feedbacks are not immediate and concrete and leave room for the imagination.

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One of the main consequences is the weakening of the sense of reality.

What does it mean?

Our brain has developed to manage real interactions and has numerous areas dedicated to decoding and managing the "face to face" relationship.

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What about these skills when the interaction are mostly online?

Some research has shown the existence of a direct relationship between the development of some areas of the cortex and the degree of social competence.

• The first effect of dissociation is a lesser stimulation of these areas of the brain deputetet to empathy, to the recognition of non-verbal communication, to the control of one's emotional responses;
• Risk is relative in adults, but it’s stronger for young people’s brain, which it’s growing. This condition could hinder the development of these brain areas in the long term.

Source: Veronica Chantal Bertarini - Psychologist, Counselor and Family Mediator www.related.studio

Paul Watzlawick et al. study on human communication

In their study Pragmatics of human communication (1971), Watzlawick et al. stated that the human communication can be divided into three subsectors: syntax, semantics and pragmatics.

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Syntax: includes issues related to the coding and decoding of information;

Semantics: meaning of the elements of communication for communicants (words);

Pragmatics: it deals with the effects of communication on speakers, or the influence on their behavior, not on their knowledge.

1st axiom of communication:

It’s impossible not to communicate

Starting from the 1st axiom of communication, Watzlawick et al. consider communication and behavior as synonyms, in the sense that any behavior between two individuals - including silence - has a communicative value and is effective in modifying behavior and expectations of the receive

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Example:

If the broadcaster wants the interlocutor to open a window, a pragmatic communication could be saying "It's very hot in here!", or showing signs of physical discomfort by undoing the collar of his shirt: using this communication, the broadcaster wants the receiver - and not himself - to open the window.

Instead, a communication at a semantic level would in this case consist in a statement on the precise temperature in the room and on the effects of this on the discomfort of the broadcaster, followed by an explicit request.

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The purpose of the pragmatics of communication

To highlight how every communicative process between human beings is always composed of two different but inseparable dimensions:

• the explicit content: i.e what words say on the basis of conventional meanings;
• the interpersonal relationship: what the speaker doesn’t say in words but it suggests at verbal and more often non-verbal level, on the quality of the relationship between him and the listener and on mutual expectations.

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Why empathy is important to contrast online discrimination and achieve social inclusion?

Today children, as well as the vast majority of citizens, communicate continuously through the internet; they do it very often in verbal form, but the use of social media also activates many other non-verbal codes.

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Starting from these considerations and therefore taking into account the exponential growth of communicative and social interconnections in the digital age, the importance of providing children with the necessary tools to communicate in a conscious and responsible manner is evident.

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Why empathy is important to contrast online discrimination and achieve social inclusion?

While recognizing the great opportunities inherent in the use of social network in terms of the exponential increase in communicative relationships between people (by now considering real relationships not only chat, but also the friends of FB, the followers of Instagram ...) has determined the growth of episodes of verbal aggression, offense, threats and the appearance of new concepts such as those of haters, cyberbullying, hate speech and fake news.

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The lack of a systematic education and training in communication certainly represents a weak point in the fight against these phenomena.

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Educating to communicate can represent a strategy of prevention and containment with respect to socially critical behaviors, such as hate speech, cyberbullying etc.

The activities planned in the Express, communicate and recognize emotions. The value of empathy workshop are designed as part of a broader educational and training path that aims to improve the civic and social competences in young people, and it’s part of RAINBOW Teacher training.

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More in detail, this workshop contributes to develop communication skills in young people through the awareness raising on the importance of empathy and paying particular attention to the relationship between communication (verbal and non-verbal, direct or digitally mediated) and emotional experiences.

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The belief is that a citizen who is more aware of the value and weight of the messages he communicates is a citizen who is more attentive to the consequences on others and on himself of his own behavior, whether they are acted in presence or in the digital world.

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3. DESCRIPTION OF THE ACTIVITY

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The activities foreseen in the workshop take into account the importance of the role of emotional intelligence → The value of empathy is considered as a human skill, which helps us in being connected with others and their emotion, shared in an increasingly cognitively mediated way.

The general objective of the training course is to bring the trainees as close as possible to an empathic attitude or, at least, to recognize its fundamental role in building healthy social relationships.

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Other objectives of the training:

• The hard comprehension of others people feelings and non-verbal communication due to the “digital communication bubble”, i.e. the overwhelming exchange and massive use of digital messages;
• Hard identification of “e-sarcasm” from “e-serious”, “e-cold” from “e-formal”, or “e-busy” from “e-angry, due to a lack of or none knowledge of other people mind and cultural mind-set.

4. SUMMARY OF THE LESSON PLAN

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Link to the detailed lesson plan: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LTt6lBv9aIh11qlN9WTxOd_jEf2mWZbpoqgAmbF_Kqs/edit#

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Morning activities “NOT JUST WORDS”

First step: Not just icebreaking

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THE SQUARE. A game about funny ways to say hello without words. (10 minutes to play);

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ONE IDEA, ONE MOVEMENT. A theatrical game to express yourself without words. (10 min);

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ONE FEELING, ONE WORD. A theatrical game to express yourself with one single word. (10 min)

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INTRODUCE YOURSELF. A Speed Meetings game to talk with the others. (10 min)

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DEBRIEFING with the participants. (20 min)

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Morning activities “NOT JUST WORDS”

Second step: the theory of communication

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TIMING: 45 minutes;

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CONTENTS: the trainer do a frontal lesson on the theory of communication;

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DEBRIEFING: questions and reflections from the participants. (25 min)

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Morning activities “NOT JUST WORDS”

Third step: Play on word

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TIMING: 60 minutes;

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CONTENTS: exercises and games with written words;

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DEBRIEFING: questions and reflections from the participants. (25 min)

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Afternoon activities “NOT JUST WORDS”

Fourth step: Body language

Activities based on the Theatre of the Oppressed method

by Augusto Boal

in group

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WALK IN THE SQUARE. An exercise about different ways to walk, numbered from 0 to 10. (5 min)

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THE MACHINE. A theatrical exercise from the Theatre of the Oppressed by AUGUSTO BOAL (10 min)

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in pairs

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THE MIRROR. A theatrical exercise from the Theatre of the Oppressed by AUGUSTO BOAL (5 min)

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THE SCULPTOR AND THE CLAY. A theatrical exercise from the Theatre of the Oppressed by AUGUSTO BOAL (5 min)

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DEBRIEFING: Questions and reflections from the participants. (10 min)

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Afternoon activities “NOT JUST WORDS”

Fifth step: The value of empathy

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TIMING: 45 min.

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CONTENT: What is empathy? How does it work? What is the value of empathy in communication? What role does empathy play in digital communication?

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DEBRIEFING: Questions and reflections from the participants. (10 min)

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Afternoon activities “NOT JUST WORDS”

Sixth step: WORKING ON THE EMOTIONS

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1- FROM THE BAD TO THE BEST: An activity around feelings and words to express them (15 min)

DEBRIEFING: questions and reflections from the participants. (10 min)

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2- MY FEELINGS: Graffiti paintings: using tempera colors, cover completely a glossy sheet, then make a free drawing (inspired by one of the EMOTIONS of the previous activity) using the top of the nail as a tip for engraving. (30 min)

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PRESENTATION OF THE WORKS (15 min)

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I GIVE YOU ONE WORD: Group activity to give a word as a present to another group: with papers and magazines, using the collage technique, realize a collage poster inspired by a single WORD related with emotions and feelings (f.i. JOY) (30 min)

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DEBRIEFING about the day: HOW DID YOU FEEL? (20 min)

5. SOURCES

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Theory of communication

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Paul Watzlawick, Beavin J.H., Jackson D.D., Pragmatics of Human Communication, W.W. Norton, New York 1967

Communication in the Real World – Open Textbook

Verbal and Nonverbal Communication

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Play On Words

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literaryterms.net › wordplay Wordplay: Definitions and Examples

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Theatre of the oppressed

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WALK IN A SQUARE

THE MACHINE

THE MIRROR

THE SCULPTOR AND THE CLAY

Games for Actors and Non-Actors By Augusto Boal

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The Value of Empathy

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The Importance of Empathy

EMPATIA cartoon

https://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/empathy

http://www.conscientiabeam.com/pdf-files/soc/91/JNMMC-2016-3(1)-1-24.pdf

https://jungkonzept.de/part-2-the-impact-of-empathy-in-digital-communication/

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The Rain.Bow project is co-funded by the European Commission. Its contents reflect only the views of the authors, and the Commission is not responsible for any use arising from this information.

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Project code: 612131-EPP-1-2019-1-IT-EP-PKA3-IPI-SOC-IN