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Relationship formation �(and breakdown)

Dr. Fenja Ziegler

Student Office Hours:Thursdays: 1 – 3pm

Psychology, C54

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Foundations in Psychology (C80FIP)

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Living in a Social World

  • Beginning and ending of (romantic) relationships

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  • Interpersonal attraction

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  • Culture and sub-culture

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Interpersonal Attraction – �Why do we like some people?

  • Physical Attractiveness
    • The Matching Hypothesis

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Physical Attractiveness

  • First impression
  • Women:
    • Large and widely separated eyes, small nose, small chin (like children) – but also wide cheekbones and narrow cheeks (not like children)
  • Men:
    • Square jaw, small eyes, thin lips (not like children)
  • Halo effect

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The Matching Hypothesis

  • Not the most attractive person but a match in attractiveness
    • Fear of rejection
    • Balance
    • Not just physical

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Interpersonal Attraction

  • Physical Attractiveness
    • The Matching Hypothesis
  • Proximity
  • Familiarity
  • Attitude
  • Similarity
  • Demographic Similarity
  • Similarity in Personality

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Why do we form Relationships?� – Is it in our genes?

  • Study experimentally?
  • Relationships costly:
    • Evolutionary adaptive: survival and reproduction
    • “Blood is thicker than water” – closeness of families

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Relatedness drives Helping

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See also:

Selfish Gene theory (Richard Dawkins)

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Why do we form Relationships? – Is it in our genes?

  • Study experimentally?
  • Relationships costly:
    • Evolutionary adaptive: survival and reproduction
    • “Blood is thicker than water” – closeness of families
  • Non-reproductive relationships? Non-romantic relationships?

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Why do we form relationships?�- Reward, reinforcement, satisfaction

  • Form friendships/ relationships for rewards and reinforcement
    • Approval, smiling, (sex, love, money, etc)
  • Classical condition
    • Neutral stimulus + reward → positive feeling
  • More time with people who reward
  • Less time with people who punish
  • Relevant to early stages, parents/ children?, selfish?, context of reinforcement, individualistic/ male?

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Economic Theories

  • Maximise rewards, minimise the costs:
    • Cost:reward ratio
    • Thibault and Kelley, 1959
    • Comparison level (previous experience)
    • Comparison level for Alternatives
  • Equity theory (stresses fairness)
  • Descriptive, but research not informative

4 Stages of Relationships/ Friendship

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Maintenance of Relationships

  • Self-disclosure
    • Sternberg (1986)
    • Social penetration theory (Altman & Taylor, 1973)
  • Commitment
    • Investment model (Rusbult, 1980)
    • Maintenance strategies
      • voice • loyalty
      • neglect • exit

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Relationship rules

  • Argyle and Henderson (1984) 6 rules:

1. Trust and confide in the other person

2. Show emotional support

3. Share news of success

4. Strive to make the friend happy

5. Volunteer help in time of need

6. Stand up for a friend in his or her absence

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Breakdown of Relationships

  • Many reasons for break-up
  • Reasons depend on
    • The particular circumstances
    • Their particular characteristics
  • Some end in bitter recrimination
  • Others are handled in a civilised way
  • Similar processes tend to be involved in all break-ups

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Relationship Survival

  • Social exchange theory (Levinger, 1976)
  • Marriage survival depends on 3 factors
    • the attractions (sexual and emotional)
    • the barriers to leaving the marriage
    • the presence of attractive alternatives
  • Can explain why not all unhappy relationships end in breakdown
  • But why do they become unhappy?

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Psychological Explanations of Love

  • Sternberg’s (1986) triangular theory
    • Love consists of three components
      • intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment
  • Liking and loving
    • The love quiz (Hazan & Shaver, 1987)
  • Romantic and companionate love
    • Berscheid and Walster (1978)

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Intimacy;

No passion, commitment

Intimacy, passion;

No commitment

Intimacy, commitment; No passion

Commitment; No passion, Intimacy

Commitment, passion; No intimacy

Passion; No commitment, intimacy

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Relationships in Cultures

  • Individualist and collectivist cultures (Goodwin, 1995)
  • Romantic love (Levine et al., 1995):
    • More important individualistic
  • Friendships:
    • Fewer but closer in collectivist
  • Voluntary and involuntary relationships (Shaver et al., 1991)
    • About the same level of happiness
  • Permanent and impermanent relationships (Simmel, 1971)
    • Divorce rare higher in individualistic cultures

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The End…

  • Reading: Chapter 2

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