Sexual Preferences and Practices

WORKING FOR CHILD SAFETY AND GENDER EMPOWERMENT SINCE 2001

CREATING SAFE SPACES

Establish Session Values

What will make this class a safe space for everyone to talk, share and discuss freely? Talk about things that are close to our heart? Things that bother us to make us sad? How do we want others to behave? How will we behave? How can we make it easy for all of us to understand as well as enjoy these sessions together? Some values - based off behaving - that may support us in sharing and discussing openly are:

Listening to each other with respect

Speaking with respect for each other

Trust each other

Any other value on which we all want to mutually agree?

CREATING SAFE SPACES 

enfoldindia.org

Sexual acts

Intercourse - penetrative sex

Vaginal sex

Anal sex.

Oral sex

Outercourse - sexual stimulation to orgasm without penetration

Different from foreplay - which almost always leads to an act of penetration

Includes a myriad of sexual acts

Masturbation - Self, Partner, or group.

Pornography

CREATING SAFE SPACES 

enfoldindia.org

Casual Sex

Our society tells us that sex outside of marriage or a committed relationship has always been considered a taboo. Persons, especially women who have such sex are often shamed and labeled as characterless.

However, we have long established traditions of casual sex being accepted. For example: devadasis, sex workers, courtesans, mistresses.

Norms are changing slowly though and sex for the purpose of pleasure, without the promise of emotional commitment is seen without judgement in some circles.

Casual sex can be with a stranger one has met on some forum or with a friend, in arrangements like “friends with benefits” or “booty calls” or swinging arrangements

CREATING SAFE SPACES 

enfoldindia.org

Use of sex toys

Sex toys are objects or aids, used to enhance sexual experience between partners,

for masturbation, for non-binary persons to affirm gender identity and have fulfilling sexual experiences, or for medical purposes

People have ambiguous views about the use of sex toys:

Because it is an inanimate object used for an intimate act

May suggest that one’s partner isn’t a good enough sexual partner

May suggest one’s sexual needs are unnaturally high

In India, no explicit law prohibiting sale of sex toys, but

sections in law that ban sale of ‘obscene’ items. With

increasing demand now, manufacturers ensure packaging

and display of these items are not explicit or seen as ‘obscene’.

CREATING SAFE SPACES 

enfoldindia.org

Fetishes/Kinks

A fetish is an intense sexual attraction to an inanimate object or a body part that is not traditionally considered as sexually attractive. The most common involve body parts such as feet, or body features, such as obesity, piercings, or tattoos, followed by body fluid, body size, and hair.

Havelock Ellis who studied human sexuality re-conceptualized fetishism as an expression of "individual taste in beauty."

Stigma continues to be attached to fetishistic desires - it is often pathologized. Fetishistic disorder has been listed in the DSM-5 as a form of dependence on the object of desire to the extent that sexual arousal and gratification can only be achieved with the particular body part in focus or the object of desire.

CREATING SAFE SPACES 

enfoldindia.org

BDSM

An umbrella of sexual acts which can be described as three categories - Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, and Sadism/Masochism.

BDSM in the larger population is often misunderstood and considered painful rather than playful .

Informed consent is the foundation of BDSM acts. It is complete only when participants understand all the conditions and risks associated with the activity, each partner’s limits and safety requirements, and acceptable activities and safe words to use to indicate when to stop or withdraw from the activity.

Healthy BDSM relationships demonstrate trust, caring, and an ongoing commitment to mutual growth, which are all valid indicators of any positive relationship.

CREATING SAFE SPACES 

enfoldindia.org

Public Sexual Behavior

One or more people having sex in a public place, or in a private place which can be viewed from a public place.

People with such inclinations may be turned on by

The thrill of taking risks

Breaking the routine

Being watched by others or exposing oneself to others to watch

Engaging in sexual acts that are livestreamed using a webcam is also an act of public sex. These are usually governed by checks for safety and confidentiality.

​

CREATING SAFE SPACES 

enfoldindia.org

Group Sex

Sexual acts involving more than two participants, of any sexual orientation or genders

May take different forms including

…threesomes where a couple may admit another person into their sexual experiences,

…swinging where people in open relationships choose to have sex with other couples or individuals,

…orgies where multiple participants engage in free and unrestrained sexual activities with any consenting other member of a group.

CREATING SAFE SPACES 

enfoldindia.org

Sex hierarchy -

the charmed circle

Gayle Rubin, in her paper ‘Thinking Sex’ referred to our cultural view of sex as being good, natural and acceptable only if we say within the forms listed in the inner circle and bad, dangerous, wrong and deviant if we stray outside of it.

CREATING SAFE SPACES 

enfoldindia.org

Slide 4

This PowerPoint is part of a project to prevent gender based violence. This project is supported by Ford Foundation.

​

CREATING SAFE SPACES 

enfoldindia.org

Slide 9

Thank You!

ENFOLD PROACTIVE HEALTH TRUST

+91 802552 0489  |  +91 99000 94251  |  enfoldindia.org

SURAKSHITH APP

Information, stories on personal safety for children.

​

BAL SURAKSHA APP

Information on answering children’s questions, managing child sexual abuse.

​

STRI SURAKSHA APP

On crimes against women, laws, interventions and healing techniques.

​

All Apps in 10 languages, free on android Developed with UNICEF and MeitY (CDAC Hyderabad)

CREATING SAFE SPACES