© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

Citizens’ Climate University:

Effective Communications: A Brain Based Mindfulness Approach

CHRIS HOFFMAN

Counselor, Author, Ecopsychologist

CCL Liaison to CO Senator Michael Bennet

About Chris

LEARNING GOALS

After tonight’s lesson, attendees

should be able to:

• Learn phases of the communication process.
• Learn key skills of effective listening.
• Apply these phases and skills in role-play practice activities with small groups.

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Agenda

Communication Process

Warm-up Activity

Active Listening Skills

Listening Break-Out (Triads)

Q&A Discussion

1. Prepare
2. Listen
3. Consider
4. Talk
5. Check
6. Adjust
7. Continue

© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

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Today’s focus

Communication Process - Phases

1. Prepare
2. Listen
3. Consider
4. Talk
5. Check
6. Adjust
7. Continue

© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

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What do I really want?

Establish safety

Communication Detail

• Prepare ✔
• Listen
• Consider
• Talk
• Check
• Adjust
• Continue

© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

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Communication Detail

SKILL SET:

Encouraging / Pacing

Questioning

Restating (facts)

Reflecting (feelings)

Summarizing

Hypothesis testing

Receptive Silence

• Prepare ✔
• Listen ✔
• Consider
• Talk
• Check
• Adjust
• Continue

© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

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Communication Detail

• My filters/lenses?
• What story am I making up to make sense of the situation?
• Are there alternative stories?
• Considering my provisional understanding of the other person: how can I best phrase what I have to say?

• Prepare ✔
• Listen ✔
• Consider ✔
• Talk
• Check
• Adjust
• Continue

© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

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Communication Detail

Think FIRSST:

Facts

I statements

Request

Seek other’s view

Seek alignment

Thank them

• Prepare ✔
• Listen ✔
• Consider ✔
• Talk ✔
• Check
• Adjust
• Continue

© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

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Communication Detail

Am I or the other person

Reactive?

​

or

Receptive?

​

(showing signs of fight / flight / freeze)

• Prepare ✔
• Listen ✔
• Consider ✔
• Talk ✔
• Check ✔
• Adjust
• Continue

© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

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Communication Detail

If either or both of us is reactive, then adjust to get back on track.

• Prepare ✔
• Listen ✔
• Consider ✔
• Talk ✔
• Check ✔
• Adjust ✔
• Continue

© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

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Communication Detail

If we are both receptive, then continue.

Naturally, in real life, communication is not this linear.

This list gives you the main phases and general sequence to keep in mind.

Recall a time when a listener thoroughly understood you and accepted you for who you are.

Take turns sharing with your partner:

1. How you felt when being listened-to so well.
2. The circumstances and the behaviors/actions of the other person that brought this about.
3. What happened as a result.

© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

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Warm-up Break Out Activity (In Pairs)

A few of your stories:

1. How you felt when being listened-to so well.
2. The circumstances and the behaviors/actions of the other person that brought this about.
3. What happened as a result.

© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

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Debrief - In Whole Group

Your “good listener” was trying to understand how you see yourself and your world.

© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

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Mental “map”

YOUR LISTENER

Being A “Good Listener”

• Prepare ✔
• Listen
• Consider
• Talk
• Check
• Adjust
• Continue

© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

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SKILL SET:

Encouraging / Pacing

Questioning

Restating (facts)

Reflecting (feelings)

Summarizing

Hypothesis testing

Receptive Silence

How Good Listeners Do It:

1. Encouraging/Pacing

© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

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“I see...” “Uh-huh...”

[body language: e.g. nodding]

• Conveys interest and keeps the conversation going.
• Don’t agree or disagree with the person.
• Use non-committal words and positive tone of voice.
• Often used on the telephone.

Active Listening Skills

2. Questions

© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

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1. Open-ended: “What, Why, Where, When, How?”
2. Closed-ended: aims at only a Yes/No answer or specifics.

• Opens discussion
• Gets information
• Open-ended generally preferable
• Avoid more than 3 questions in a row

Active Listening Skills

• “Isn’t it true that…?”
• “Wouldn’t you agree that…?”

​

They are really statements with a “hook” at the end or “loaded questions” (loaded like a gun).

Don’t use these. (They make the other person feel manipulated, consciously or unconsciously.)

© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

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Sentences like these are NOT true Questions

�3. Restating [facts]

© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

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“In other words your idea is...”

“If I understand you, you’re saying...”

⧫ Restate the content of what the �other person said using your words.

⧫ To test the clarity of your understanding, not to show agreement or disagreement.

⧫ Especially useful to clarify their thoughts or perceptions.

​

Active Listening Skills

4. Reflecting [feelings]

© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

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“You feel...”

“You were pretty upset by...”

⧫ Lets the other person know you understand how they feel, their emotions.

⧫ Feelings are not right or wrong, �they just are.

⧫ Put yourself in the other person's shoes.

⧫ Again, you are not showing agreement, just empathy

Active Listening Skills

5. Summarizing

© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

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“These seem to be the major points you’ve discussed...”

“So the bottom line, is...”

• Pulls key ideas, facts, feelings, together.
• Reviews progress.
• Builds a basis for further discussion.

Active Listening Skills

6. Hypothesis Testing

© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

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“Since no one returned your call, I’m wondering if you thought we weren’t interested in your input and if you are angry about that.”

• Your best guess about what’s going on.
• Like a summary, but stated tentatively, as a hypothesis.
• Can help create safety.

Active Listening Skills

• “I’m wondering if…”
• “When I hear that, the story I make up in my mind is…”
• “Trying to make sense of this, I think… Is that accurate or am I missing something?”

© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

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Be Clear that Hypotheses Are Tentative

7. Receptive Silence

© Chris Hoffman 2017 – www.hoopandtree.org

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• Allows the other person to � collect thoughts.
• Introverts especially � appreciate this.
• Also allows you time to think.
• Draws out details, nuances.

Active Listening Skills

• Speaker – Talk about something you care deeply about. �[OPTION: If your group is up for a challenge – Take on the persona of a conservative you know and talk about your view of climate change.]
• Listener – Use active listening skills to draw out the Speaker
• Goal: Speaker feels seen, heard, felt, and respected
• No responses other than active listening techniques. This is not a dialogue.
• Observer – Take note of the listening skills used by the Listener

When time is called, debrief among yourselves…

1. Speaker – How well were you listened to?
2. Observer – What listening skills did you observe? Were any missing?
3. Listener – How was this experience for you?

© Chris Hoffman 2017 –

www.hoopandtree.org

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Listening Breakout (In Triads - Two Rounds)

COFFEE BREAK

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WHAT DID YOU DISCOVER?

​

TIME FOR QUESTIONS & DISCUSSION

Today’s speakers:

​

• Chris Hoffman

hoopandtree@aol.com

​

For CCU Lessons:

​

• Brett Cease

brett@citizensclimate.org

citizensclimatelobby.org

Link to your content section in Community:

https://community.citizensclimatelobby.org/groups/special-interest-groups/motivational-interviewing-738232779/�

CONTACT US

https://community.citizensclimatelobby.org/learn/

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Thank You!

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