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Mastering Relationships

Giving and Receiving Feedback

04/05/19 Andre Carothers

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Small Feedback and Big Feedback

Giving and Receiving Effective Feedback

Mastering Relationships Website

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The most serious problem facing any organization is the one that cannot be discussed.

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Marc Andreessen

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All the Domains

• Feedback Tools bring together
• The Brain
• Self-Tune for the transaction
• Behavior
• Know yourself
• Master triggering
• Toolbox
• LOTS of versions (pick one)

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Why Give Feedback?

• To be a leader (conductor)
• understand performance
• To bring out the best
• job satisfaction
• To cultivate your team culture
• Performance goes up
• It is inevitable...

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Why Receive Feedback?

• We leave a trail
• Everyone sees us
• These trails matter
• Without feedback, we are lost
• feedback is our instrumentation

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The Ultimate Goal

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Good Feedback,

No matter the content,

should feel like a

Kiss on the Cheek

Increasing productivity and performance is fantastic, and...

The Biggest Challenge

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• Fear
• They will crumble
• I will crumble
• They will get upset
• They will get mad

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“I know I can handle it, but they probably can’t.”

How To Do It Wrong

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• Do Nothing, or wait (until you blow up)
• Be vague (or subjective)
• Be “Nice” (or hide your true feelings)
• Make up a Story
• He is probably...She always…
• Don’t Take Responsibility
• Assume it’s you (cuz it is always you)
• Go Negative
• Go Long

How To Do It Right

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• Set it up (agenda, time, space, script)
• Use a script, an excuse, anything!
• Make it both ways, and go positive
• Be specific and describe impact
• Be curious, ask questions
• Take responsibility
• Be lean, less is more
• Test and Repeat

Building a Feedback-Rich Environment

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• Work with what is
• Fast, fits with already existing habits or encouragements
• Not require that we be enlightened
• Be simple
• Scripted, Easily modeled
• Easily Deployed
• Adaptable--you can make it your own
• Be Testable
• Easily polled. Is this working? What might we change?
• Exercise a valuable core muscle
• Is the skill transferable?

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Words and Phrases that Work

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Words and Phrases matter a lot

• “Help me understand”
• “What could I do differently?”
• “I understand that I might be...”
• “I need your advice”
• “How might we…?”
• “Perhaps I am missing something”

Never explain, rationalize or defend. Repeat it back and say thanks.

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Small Feedback

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• In the moment
• short
• detailed and specific
• uncomplicated
• More of? Less of? What else?

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Big Feedback

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• Full Set-up (POP, agenda, space, time, etcetera)
• Script (rehearsed)

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• What I value and wish to grow
• What I think we can do better
• What I am willing to do
• Go the other way
• Check for Understanding, Capture and Hold

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Source Material

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Small Feedback and Big Feedback

Giving and Receiving Effective Feedback

Mastering Relationships Website

Feedback to Your Direct Reports

Simple Feedback Setup

Feedback Conversation Checklist

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