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Anxiety Toolbox Workshop�2025-2026��

Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS)

Stanford University

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Today’s workshop

Confidentiality/Group Agreements

2 hour session

Understanding the stress response and how anxiety shows up in body, emotions, thoughts, and behaviors

Build skills to work with the stress response and anxiety in body, emotions, thoughts, and behaviors

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Check In

  • Name and pronoun introduction if comfortable sharing – What is one thing you do now that helps you manage stress or anxiety?

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Expectations

  • We are not going to be able to get rid of stress or anxiety completely. Stress and anxiety are a part of the human experience and they often serve a function.
  • There is not a universal formula or secret to “fixing” stress and anxiety. Therefore, it is helpful to build-up multiple skills and utilize them interchangeably
  • Managing stress and anxiety is an ongoing process that takes continuity of practice throughout life and different situations.
  • We will briefly review the differences between a trauma response, stress, and anxiety later in the presentation. As we go through the slides, please feel free to take a break if needed.

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Threat present

Stress response turns on

Threat gone

Stress response turns off - calming response turns on

  • Constant Threat response + rumination
  • Stress response constantly on
  • Unmanaged ongoing stress

Stress overload

(Fight/Flight/Freeze/Fawn)

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Some Common Triggers/Threats/Stressors

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Fight/Flight/Freeze/Fawn

Fight – attack lion

Flight – run from lion

Freeze – play dead

Fawn – befriend lion

Being critical of others, blaming, using a harsh tone.

“Ghosting”

Not answering a question directly

Difficulty saying no

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Overthinking – trying to think yourself out of a problem or feeling

Avoiding behaviors or emotions, compartmentalizing

Shutting down and scrolling on your phone

Appeasing to avoid conflict

Sense of Urgency – “I need to take care of this immediately”

Leaving campus to “get away from it all”

Mind going “blank”, zoning out, inability to process information or focus

People pleasing, putting others’ needs before own or

conforming

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Personalize: take accountability to gain control or certainty

Isolating in your room

Feeling powerless to change anything

Disconnecting with own emotions – defer to others to feel

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Signs of Stress Overload

  • Always being on guard
  • Constantly predicting or thinking of the worst-case scenario
  • Worrying as a way of protecting yourself in the future
  • Need to always feel prepared for anything
  • Always being sensitive to small mood shifts in others
  • Feeling of performing or pretending to be a certain way to gain acceptance in social situations
  • Constant “Busyness” as a way of avoiding
  • Controlling events or people in all situations
  • The need for rigid structure and certainty – difficulty with uncertainty or change in routine.
  • Difficulty making decisions (big or small) – Decision fatigue

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How do I manage my stress and anxiety?

Recognize

Recognize signs of anxiety in my body, emotions, thoughts, behaviors

Body & Emotions

Soothe or complete the loop

Thoughts

Critically examine thinking patterns, and challenge or let go

Behaviors

Approach instead of avoid. Buffer our system from excessive stress

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What happens in my body?

Feeling high energy or restless/fidgeting

Difficulty breathing

Chest tightness or pain

Sweating

Dry mouth

Nausea

Increased heart rate

Shaking

Muscle tightness

Jaw clenching

Headaches

Stomach discomfort

Suddenly cold or overheating

Tingling in hands or feet

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Soothe the System: �Calm the Body

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This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-SA

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Completing the Loop:�Discharging the energy in your body

  • Move your body: Do 20 jumping jacks, run around your building, dance to your favorite upbeat music, do push ups, swim, sports, etc. Anything that gets you breathing deeply, ideally for at least 20 minutes per day
  • Laughter: Full body, belly laughter
  • Crying: Allow the body to release the energy
  • Creative expression: Writing, painting, music, acting, dancing
  • Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tensing and releasing every muscle, from head to toe

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*Adapted from: “Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle” by Nagoski and Nagoski, and “Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers” by Stanford’s own Robert Sapolsky

Stressor

F/F/F response

Complete the loop or soothe

Back to neutral

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What happens in my emotions?

Sad

Irritated/Angry

Fearful

Nervous

Avoidant

Confused

Uncertain

Frustrated

Urgency

Disappointment

Embarrassment

Guilt

Shame

Disgust

Bored

Lonely

Feelings Wheel

Feelings Chart

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Completing the Loop: �Emotions

  • Feel it in your body, label it, tend to it

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  • Feel the feeling all the way to the end, without feeding it thoughts

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  • Sadness, grief, shame, rage- all of these have a beginning, middle, and end

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How do I manage my stress and anxiety?

Recognize

Recognize signs of anxiety in my body, emotions, thoughts, behaviors

Body & Emotions

Soothe or complete the loop

Thoughts

Critically examine thinking patterns, and challenge or let go

Behaviors

Approach instead of avoid. Buffer our system from excessive stress

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Anxious Thoughts aka �“Thinking Shortcuts”

  • All or nothing thinking
  • Over Generalization
  • Mental filter
  • Jumping to Conclusions
  • Labeling
  • Catastrophizing
  • Personalizing/Blame
  • Should statements
  • Emotional Reasoning
  • “Fix it” mentality

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All or nothing thinking: Seeing things in black or white categories. “I have to do it perfectly or not at all.”

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Over-generalization: You see a single negative event, such as a romantic rejection or a career reversal, as a never-ending pattern of defeat by using words such as “always” or “never” when you think about it.

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Mental filter: Only paying attention to the bad aspects of a situation, not the neutral or positive parts. Paying attention to negative (threatening) feedback only.

“My presentation didn’t go well at all because of that one question I didn’t know how to answer.”

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Jumping to Conclusions:

  • Mind reading: Assuming we know what others are thinking. “I can’t believe I said that, they all must think I’m awkward.”
  • Fortune telling: Thinking we can predict the future. “I’ll never live this down, people will remember this mistake forever.”

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Labeling: “I’m just lazy, which is why I can’t get things done” or “she’s a selfish person.”

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Catastrophizing: Assuming the worst possible outcome or thinking of all the ways something could go wrong. “I’m not going to get enough sleep tonight, and I will be totally useless tomorrow.”

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Personalizing/Blame:

  • Personalizing: Taking blame for something that may not be your fault. “My advisor didn’t get back to me, I think she’s disappointed in my most recent presentation.” Or “no one was really listening to what I was saying in that meeting, maybe I wasn’t making sense.”
  • Blame: Blaming others for the circumstances of the issue and overlook their own contributions. “The reason I am failing is because my professor is unreasonable.”

Emotional Reasoning: Assuming emotions, typically negative, accurately reflect the way things really are. “I feel guilty, I must have done something bad.” “I feel angry, this proves I’ve been treated unfairly.” “I feel scared of airplanes, it must be dangerous to fly.”

Should statements: The abyss between expectation and reality. “I shouldn’t feel this lonely/depressed/anxious” or “I should have known better” or “I should feel grateful for what I have.”

“Fix it” mentality: Urge to fix things, often, as soon as possible. “I feel anxious, I need to fix it/go back to how I was before/get rid of it/not feel it.”

Thinking Shortcuts

Adapted from: Burns D. (1989). The Feeling Good Handbook.

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Challenging or �Letting Go of Anxious Thoughts�(External)

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  • Have I been conditioned to think in this way?

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  • Are there factors related to my/their identity (race, professional status, ethnicity, financial security, ability status, gender) that are influencing how this situation is playing out?

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  • Am I experiencing imposter phenomenon because a structure is telling me I don’t belong?

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  • Am I listening to a harsh inner critic rooted in internalized messages of oppression or cultural conditioning?

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  • Who benefits from me internalizing this? How?

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Challenging or �Letting Go of Anxious Thoughts�(Internal)

  • Am I focusing on what is, or what if?
  • What part of this thought is useful, and what part of this do I need to let go?
  • What is the emotion underneath this thought trying to tell me?
  • If this is true, what do I need to do NOW to effectively handle the situation? Is it more useful to deal with the stress or stressor in this moment?
  • Am I overestimating the severity of the problem I am facing? Or am I underestimating my ability to manage it?
  • The anxious part of my brain is telling me ______. What are the other parts of my brain telling me?
  • If a friend were in this situation and had this thought, what would I tell them?
  • Am I needing to work on acceptance, letting go of control, being okay with less than perfect, or having faith in the future and myself?
  • When I’m not feeling this way, do I think about this situation differently?

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What happens to my behaviors?

I try to control outcomes

I try to control other people

I avoid certain people

I procrastinate

I spend hours on YouTube

I eat too little or too much

I sleep when I am not tired, or I don’t sleep

I obsess about something/ anything

I buy things

I smoke/drink/use other things to alter my mood

I clean/organize

I blame others

I fill my schedule to the brim

I try to make connections between unrelated events

I multi-task

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Managing my Anxious Behaviors

  • Break things into small steps: “Can I at least…”
  • Do one thing at a time, don’t multitask
  • Sleep: Consistency, not too much/too little
  • Screen time: Reduce social media use, don’t use it to avoid, digitally detox
  • Unmet needs: Ask yourself, “what do I feel, what do I need?”
  • “Strategic Underachievement”: Decide in advance what you are going to “fail” at
  • Connection with others: Find others who validate your identities. Deepen relationships
  • Eating: Consistent, balanced, low caffeine
  • Alcohol/other substances: Be mindful of how these affect your mood
  • Do nothing: Allow your brain to reset through rest
  • Avoid UNNECESSARY triggers: news, people, experiences. Say “no”

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Putting it all together!

Recognize

Recognize signs of anxiety in my body, emotions, thoughts, behaviors

Body & Emotions

Soothe or complete the loop

Thoughts

Critically examine thinking patterns, and challenge or let go

Behaviors

Approach instead of avoid. Buffer our system from excessive stress

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Where can I find out more?

Books:

  • “Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle” By Emily and Amelia Nagoski
  • “Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers” by Robert Sapolsky
  • “Laziness Does Not Exist” by Devon Price

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Apps:

  • Liberate Meditation
  • Insight Meditation Timer  
  • Headspace: https://www.headspace.com/studentplan
  • Stop, Breathe and Think

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Websites:

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Questions?

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Feedback Survey

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Check Out

  • How are you feeling?
  • What is one thing you’re taking away from today’s workshop?