1 of 28

Teaching Unicorns:

Creating Gender-inclusive Early Childhood Classrooms and Programs for Young Children

Colleen Vesely, Ph.D.

Xiaolu Zhang, M.Ed.

Hillary Gile, M.S.

NAEYC Annual Meeting 2023

2 of 28

Agenda

01

02

03

04

Introduction & Invitations

Background on Gender Expansiveness

Important Things to Remember

Strategies & Resources

3 of 28

Introductions

Xiaolu Zhang M.Ed.

Doctoral Student

Early Childhood Education

George Mason University

Colleen Vesely Ph.D. (she/her)

Associate Professor

Early Childhood Education

George Mason University

Creator of Raising Unicorns

Hillary Gile M.S.CAR (she/her)

Pedagogista,

Pozez JCC ECLC

Xiaolu Zhang, M.Ed. (she/her)

Counselor

Doctoral Candidate

4 of 28

An Invitation

5 of 28

Word Cloud

When you hear, “gender inclusive classroom” what words comes to mind?

6 of 28

WHO

is in the room ?

What brought you here today?
What is the age of the children you teach?

7 of 28

First thing first !

We will never know everything there is to know.
It’s okay to not know everything there is to know.

CREDITS: This presentation template was created by Slidesgo, including icons by Flaticon, and infographics & images by Freepik

8 of 28

Words Matter (see: https://pflag.org/glossary/)

Pronouns: Let’s have a friend named Tatsuko share what pronouns are!

Gender Identity: Innermost idea of self as male, female, a blend of both or neither. How a person perceives themselves and what they call themselves, which can be same or different from sex assigned at birth

Gender Expression: External appearance of one's gender identity, which may or may not conform to socially defined characteristics typically associated with being either masculine or feminine. Usually expressed through: behavior, clothing, body characteristics, voice.

Gender Expansive: Individuals’ whose ways of understanding and expressing gender fall outside of societal gender norms.

Transgender: A term describing a person’s gender identity that does not necessarily match their assigned sex at birth.

Cisgender: A term used to refer to an individual whose gender identity aligns with the sex assigned to them at birth.

9 of 28

Advancing Equity in ECE P o sition Statement

“All children have the right to equitable learning opportunities that help them achieve their full potential as engaged learners and valued members of society.” Thus, all early childhood educators have a “unique opportunity and obligation to advance equity,” such that children are confident in who they are, affirm others’ identities, and understand and work to ameliorate injustice.

10 of 28

Political Landscape

Increased banning of books that represent children and families from diverse backgrounds(17 states with gag orders; 2,532 books banned as of 2022 according to PEN America)
In VA, governor set up a “tip line” for parents to report teachers teaching “divisive” concepts (2022)
In FL, cameras were installed to “catch” teachers teaching “divisive” concepts (2021)
Matthew Hawn, TN high school teacher fired for teaching about White privilege (2021)
GA elementary school teacher, Kate Rinderle fired for reading My Shadow is Purple (June 2023)jn
Barbara Cooper, head of AL Department of Early Childhood Education was forced out for providing the NAEYC Developmentally Appropriate Practice (4th edition) to state PreK teachers (April 2023)

11 of 28

Political Landscape

2023 Anti-trans Legislation

586

48

85

active

125

failed

bills

passed

states

376

12 of 28

The Genderbread Person

13 of 28

Children’s Developmental Understanding of Gender

Gender as a way to group themselves

patterns

GE can be clear at this age if given language

labeling self

GE children may be isolated bc of gender binary play

separation

Most children spend time with children of same gender

rigid rules

18-24 months

Ages 2-3

Ages 3-4

Ages 4-6

Internalize messages from home & society

Can label self as girl or boy

Deeper beliefs/ expectations about gender norms

Gender rules strictly defined & adhered to

Colleen

18-24mos.: Toddlers are already beginning to understand and define gender before they reach the age of two. They start looking for patterns that they can use as clues to understand gender and expectations associated with gender. They internalize messages from their homes, friends and family, and care settings. They begin to understand gender as a means to group themselves, which is an important part of their development at this stage.

Ages 2-3: Between the ages of two and three, children start to become conscious of the physical differences between boys and girls (physical in this case really means genitals). Most children at this stage can easily label themselves as either a boy or a girl. In addition, they start to learn the “gender” of toys, clothing and colors. They categorize people, animals and things they come into contact with in distinct categories, which are informed by the binary constructions of gender they learned in their families and communities. They look at same gender models to learn how to act, and may avoid or chastise others who “cross” the gender divide. At this age, gender diverse identities and/or expression may be clear; if they have been given language to understand gender in non-binary ways, they will use that language in developmentally appropriate ways as well. If a child does not have the language to communicate it, feels unsure, or is concerned about whether they would be safe sharing what they understand about their gender, they may keep these thoughts to themselves for some time.

Ages 3-4: Gender identity takes on more meaning at this stage, as children begin to focus on all kinds of differences. They start connecting the concept “girl” or “boy” to specific attributes, and establishing deeper beliefs and expectations about gender norms and roles. This is the age where stereotypes start to emerge, and gender segregation often begins. Children who don’t fall neatly into expected gender norms can begin to feel isolated as play and friends tend to fall along gendered lines.

Ages 4-6: As children become increasingly aware of gender rules and the pressure to comply with them, their thinking about gender becomes more rigid. They know the rules, but they’re not yet developmentally able to think more deeply about the beliefs and values the rules are based on. Their ideas about gender are scripted, and gender roles are strictly defined and adhered to. Phrases like “only girls play with dolls” become common. Even when exceptions to the rules are acknowledged, perceptions regarding gender persist. By age six, most children spend the majority of their playtime with members of their own sex.

14 of 28

Early Childhood & Later Outcomes

15 of 28

Affirming Care Matters

16 of 28

So, how do we affirm young children’s gender?

Short answer

Good Early childhood practice

YAY!

Longer answer

Follow children’s leads
Ensure children know they belong
Work with families to gather, develop, and share resources to better understand each child as an individual

17 of 28

10 Strategies

Create self-portraits to engage in further dialogue

3. Create Self-Portraits

Select picture books with protagonists that express or identify outside of the gender binary

4. Picture Books

Listen for gender stereotypes among children

5. Identify Gender Stereotypes

Read & learn as much as you can about GE children

1. Build your Knowledge

Listen to the ways children refer to themselves.

2. Listen to Children

Hillary (and Colleen, tag team)
Listening to how children refer to themselves in terms of gender identity and if they correct the ways others describe them. For example, if a child says, “Don’t call me girl” it is important to honor that, regardless of their assigned gender.
Providing opportunities for children to create self-portraits to engage in further dialogue with children about how they see themselves in terms of gender. Educators might engage in an open dialogue using the following prompts, “I noticed you painted your hair very long/short,” “Tell me about the clothes you painted in this picture. Are they your favorite clothes? Tell me more about why you really like these clothes.”
Selecting picture books with protagonists that express or identify outside of the gender binary provides opportunities for conversations about and connection to characters for children of all genders (see Resource Toolbox). Books provide opportunities for children to feel affirmed by seeing characters that reflect their experiences, “and in that reflection [they] can see [their] own lives and experiences as part of the larger human experience (Sims Bishop, 1990). For example, in reading Annie’s Plaid Shirt, a child might feel affirmed enough to share that they too do not like to wear dresses, and instead of a favorite plaid shirt, they have a favorite pair of pants. This might prompt a larger dialogue among children about clothing and gender.
Listening for gender stereotypes among children, and challenging children to think further about these biases. For example, children sometimes say things like, “Girls can’t like Spiderman,” or “Boys don’t have long hair.” Try to ask questions, “Tell me more about why girls can’t like Spiderman,” or “Why do you think boys can’t have long hair?” or “Hmm, I have met many girls who do like Spiderman, how is that?” Leaning into this dialogue with questions can help children reconsider their statements and assumptions from a less biased space. Continuing the conversation not only helps educators further understand each child’s unique perspective regarding gender, but it also develops children’s critical thinking skills.
Proactively ensuring all children and educators, including substitute teachers, know children’s preferred pronouns and preferred names to limit experiences of misgendering. Gender expansive children often experience misgendering or being called by the pronouns. These brief, seemingly harmless interactions add up and erode young gender expansive children’s self-esteem and sense of belonging (Lisner, 2022). Nickname- or name-first practices can remove the need to use pronouns, if pronouns are not known.

18 of 28

10 Strategies

Maintain open lines of communication with families.

8. Open Communication

Work with families to identify preferred naming practices and norms

9. Work with Families

Invite expert visitors, family connections, and community guests into the classroom who do not display traditional gender roles or norms.

10. Representative Classroom Guests

Know children’s preferred pronouns and preferred names to prevent misgendering

6. Follow Children’s Preferences

Acknowledge that families hold their own beliefs, norms, and values surrounding concepts of gender

7. Families’ Beliefs

Listening to how children refer to themselves in terms of gender identity and if they correct the ways others describe them. For example, if a child says, “Don’t call me girl” it is important to honor that, regardless of their assigned gender.
Providing opportunities for children to create self-portraits to engage in further dialogue with children about how they see themselves in terms of gender. Educators might engage in an open dialogue using the following prompts, “I noticed you painted your hair very long/short,” “Tell me about the clothes you painted in this picture. Are they your favorite clothes? Tell me more about why you really like these clothes.”
Selecting picture books with protagonists that express or identify outside of the gender binary provides opportunities for conversations about and connection to characters for children of all genders (see Resource Toolbox). Books provide opportunities for children to feel affirmed by seeing characters that reflect their experiences, “and in that reflection [they] can see [their] own lives and experiences as part of the larger human experience (Sims Bishop, 1990). For example, in reading Annie’s Plaid Shirt, a child might feel affirmed enough to share that they too do not like to wear dresses, and instead of a favorite plaid shirt, they have a favorite pair of pants. This might prompt a larger dialogue among children about clothing and gender.
Listening for gender stereotypes among children, and challenging children to think further about these biases. For example, children sometimes say things like, “Girls can’t like Spiderman,” or “Boys don’t have long hair.” Try to ask questions, “Tell me more about why girls can’t like Spiderman,” or “Why do you think boys can’t have long hair?” or “Hmm, I have met many girls who do like Spiderman, how is that?” Leaning into this dialogue with questions can help children reconsider their statements and assumptions from a less biased space. Continuing the conversation not only helps educators further understand each child’s unique perspective regarding gender, but it also develops children’s critical thinking skills.
Proactively ensuring all children and educators, including substitute teachers, know children’s preferred pronouns and preferred names to limit experiences of misgendering. Gender expansive children often experience misgendering or being called by the pronouns. These brief, seemingly harmless interactions add up and erode young gender expansive children’s self-esteem and sense of belonging (Lisner, 2022). Nickname- or name-first practices can remove the need to use pronouns, if pronouns are not known.

19 of 28

Let’s Chat!

Let’s Learn from Each Other!

Think, Pair, Share

Talk through each scenario in your small group

Share key learnings with larger group

20 of 28

Scenario # 1

Two children are playing in the dramatic play area. One male child says, “I am going to be the mom,” and the other child says, “You’re a boy, you can’t be the mom.” How would you respond in this situation?

21 of 28

Scenario # 2

A male child is playing with action figures, and a female child says, “Can I play too?” The male child says, “Go play with the dolls, that’s what girls like.” What do you do?

22 of 28

Scenario # 3

A child (Kaia) who uses she/her pronouns, and has very short hair and wears gender neutral clothes, is questioned about her gender by other children in the class. Specifically, a child asks you, “Is Kaia a boy or a girl?” How would you handle this?

23 of 28

Scenario # 4

At your school/program a new educator is being hired. During the reference checks it becomes clear that they identify as non-binary. How do you ensure they feel affirmed and welcomed in your school/program?

24 of 28

Scenario # 5

A male child likes to wear dresses from the dramatic play area, and is usually wearing one at the end of the day. When their parent arrives, they ask that you not allow the child to wear dresses. What do you say?

25 of 28

Scenario # 6

A parent tells you that their just turned 5 year old is non-binary, and wants to use “they/them” pronouns. How do you handle this?

26 of 28

Some of Our Favorites

27 of 28

Resources

Share resources and thoughts with us.

28 of 28

THANKS!

cvesely@gmu.edu

xzhang22@gmu.edu

hillary.gile@thej.org

DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS?

Please Stay in Touch!

Suggested Citation: Vesely, C.K., Zhang, X., & Gile, H. (2023, November). Teaching unicorns: Creating gender-inclusive early childhood classrooms and programs for young children. Workshop at the National Association for the Education of Young Children Annual Meeting. Nashville, TN

CREDITS: This presentation template was created by Slidesgo, including icons by Flaticon, and infographics & images by Freepik