𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕮𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊𝖑𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕿𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖘
Issue 01
June 2022
The One & Only Newspaper of Creatureland
“𝔄𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔢 ℭ𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔢 ℜ𝔢𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔰 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔲𝔢, 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔬𝔰 𝔢𝔫𝔰𝔲𝔢𝔰.”
ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀ ᴡʀᴀᴄᴋꜱ ʜᴇʀ ʙʀᴀɪɴ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ɴɪɢʜᴛ, ꜱQᴜᴇᴇᴢɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴊᴜɪᴄᴇꜱ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ʙʀᴀɪɴ ᴊᴜɪᴄᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴏꜰꜰᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴢᴏᴍʙɪᴇꜱ. ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇꜱᴜʟᴛ? ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴀᴍᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴀ ɴᴇᴡ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴍᴘʀᴏᴠᴇᴅ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴏɴ? ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴇᴛ ᴛᴏ ꜰɪɴᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ.
𝕬𝖓𝖓𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖈𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖘 & 𝕳𝖆𝖕𝖕𝖊𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘
Many citizens of Creatureland claim that the mayor of “this abysmal location” is as
It looks as if the rather bleak conditions here are slowly but surely taking a toll on the emotional well-being of all of Creatureland’s citizens. With the new Conoladolavirus on the rise, they campaign around the mayor’s palace, chanting,
Until the mayor inevitably sends a storm of Peristinkles to eat them their concerns up. On the other hand, positive news (continued)
“𝒯𝐻𝐼𝒞𝒦 𝒜𝒮 𝒜 𝐵𝑅𝐼𝒞𝒦”.
“𝒞𝑅𝒜𝒵𝐼𝐸𝑅 𝒯𝐻𝒜𝒩 𝑅𝒜𝒩𝐼𝐸𝑅!”
𝕬𝖓𝖓𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖈𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖘 & 𝕳𝖆𝖕𝖕𝖊𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘
indicates that Creatureland is launching
It’s safe to say that this is pretty much the equivalent of a venture of the century, the enlightenment of the divine. If you’d like to be graced with the ambient noise of the Creature Master’s voice smoothly traveling via sound waves to your ears, then you can listen to all episodes here. According to the C.M., “Here, we interview artists and talk all things art!” She also wanted everyone to know that anyone can be interviewed, so if you’re interested, you should reach out to her lest she finds you herself, chasing you down and spying on you in storm drains.
𝒜 𝒫𝒪𝒟𝒞𝒜𝒮𝒯!!!
𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖘𝖙 𝕮𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊𝖘
Here, you can find the latest news on Creatures: Who ate who? Who’s new in town? And, of, the inevitable--WHO ESCAPED THIS TIME?!?! We hope you enjoy this as much as we did making it (continued).
𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖘𝖙 𝕮𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊𝖘
Meet the Reenie Klupteenie 2.0. We are quite exasperated to announce that these arrogant Creatures have been roaming Creatureland and terrorizing its innocent citizens once again. No wonder the townspeople had so many complaints!
It’s all cheers and laughter for the Rocketing Ramboozakoodle who’s back in town… until it rockets. Yep, Creatureland Park decimated in seconds. Whoops!
A close cousin of the Mystical Spandyland Ers, Bertacious Bobblidoos face the existential threat of being sued over plagiarism. “As if I can control if I grow wings!” A Creature exclaimed. (Image has been stretched to fill space.)
𝕷𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖘𝖙 𝕭𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖐𝖔𝖚𝖙𝖘
So, you’ve probably heard of this dude…
Yup, that’s right. He’s making a comeback.
WANTED
Dead (preferably) or Alive
The OG Creature states with defiance, “I will be remembered. Whether I go down in glory or in flames, it will all be to my own benefit. SO LONG, CREATURELAND!!!” Lock your doors, as this Creature IS armed and dangerous. I repeat, this Creature is--AAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!! *chomp*
𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕮𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊𝖑𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕲𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖗𝖞
Though Creatureland has certainly been through it’s rough patches, a new renovation in town has got the citizens chattering! What could it be? A circus? A new restaurant? A hospital?!? No, no, and no!! It’s the Creatureland Gallery, full of Creatures created by… YOU. And if you missed this time’s exhibit--no worries! Simply submit your Creatures to be featured next time by DMing The Creatureland Times on Instagram or emailing Creature of the Day with your art!
𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕮𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊𝖑𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕲𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖗𝖞
A Straffiberous Strawberry, Octodog, and *s c a r y* Mooshaunts, drawn by @tebbiekat!
A Smegglemorph, courtesy of a minion of the Creature Master
𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕮𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊 𝕬𝖉𝖛𝖎𝖈𝖊 𝕮𝖔𝖑𝖚𝖒𝖓
What--or rather WHO--would make a better therapist for you humans, than a doodley, surpudley, UNSURPUDDLE??!?!
Submit (via emailing creatureofthedayofficial@gmail.com) your questions, concerns, and/or life dilemmas to this friendly lil agent (continued).
𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕮𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊 𝕬𝖉𝖛𝖎𝖈𝖊 𝕮𝖔𝖑𝖚𝖒𝖓
Doodley! I am under great pressure. This girl I really like is in my village, but I don’t know how to let her know. I don’t even know if she likes me back!! OH, WHAT DO I DO?!?
Gaston,
I don’t see why you’re bothering to pursue a significant other at all. Have you ever even talked to her? Anyway, I recommend raw fish--it’s one of my favorite comfort foods.
Dear Doodley,
I am hosting a party tomorrow, but I don’t want to be labeled as plain or basic if I order pizza. It’s all I’ve ordered for my friends for the past seven years! What should I do? I can’t even cook!
Dear Polly,
Please explain why you’re freaking out over cooking meals, while the real problem is that you should REALLY lower the prices on your website. Who would pay that much for clothing that’s not even going to cover every single square inch of you?!?
-Doodley (continued)
𝕿𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖐𝖘 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝕮𝖔𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖌!
Remember to come back next time & share YOUR art to the Creatureland Gallery!!