Nishmat/OU/RCA Kallah Teacher Certification Course Session 4: Preparing a Kallah for the Wedding & Sheva Berachot
Open-notes assessment aimed at reviewing this session's content and incorporating it into your personal dynamic, engaging, and empowering Kallah teaching curriculum.
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Preparing a Kallah for the Wedding & Sheva Brachot Content Review
We know that all Kallot require mikveh immersion prior to their wedding. Consider the halachic concepts and the sources we studied in Session 4 as you answer the following questions.
Why does a Kallah need to immerse in the mikveh prior to her wedding? Please detail 2 reasons. *
2 points
Why is it that we attempt to avoid חופת נדה? *
1 point
How does דם חימוד affect the Kallah's need to use the mikveh? *
1 point
Consider the previous 3 questions. Would you explain both of these halachic needs for immersion to Kallot? Why or why not? *
1 point
Why is the כלה שפירסה נידה different than a regular נידה? How come the regular נידה is permitted to be in יחוד with her husband and a כלה שפירסה נידה is not? Cite the גמרא סנהדרין that we studied. *
1 point
Do you have any special way of framing the Kallah's first immersion in the mikveh? If yes, what do you speak about? *
1 point
We studied a three-tiered debate between בית הלל and בית שמאי in מסכת נדה פרק י משנה א. Why did they consider blood found relatively soon after relations to be a problem? *
1 point
The source brought above was actually assuming hymenal bleeding to be permitted. Still, already in the Talmud hymenal bleeding and the possibility of hymenal bleeding renders the couple forbidden to each other. What is the reasoning behind the halacha of being strict about דם בתולים? Please cite a ראשון's reasoning and explain the idea in your own words. *
1 point
How do you explain דין דם בתולים to a Kallah? *
1 point
Practical Applications & Curriculum Building
Check out the Kallah in-take & checklist below. Is there anything you would add to yours or to your mental in-take equivalent? Edit? *
1 point
Pro tip: while a Kallah in-take & checklist may be kept mentally instead of formally on a piece of paper, it may be very clarifying for some Kallot to see this information all put down on paper. It may also be very helpful for you as a Kallah Teacher if you teach several Kallot in the same season.
What do you look at when you confirm that the wedding date & the set up of a Kallah's cycles allow her to immerse in the mikveh prior to her wedding and also accommodate דין דם בתולים? Please list your priorities and explain them as you would to a Kallah. *
2 points
Does the set up above change if the Kallah has already had penetrative vaginal sex? Why or why not? *
1 point
Does a woman who was never married previously and is now post-menopausal need to immerse in the mikveh prior to her wedding? Why or why not? *
1 point
Does a woman who was married previously and is now post-menopausal need to immerse in the mikveh prior to her wedding? Why or why not? *
1 point
Consider, Elisheva, a woman getting married on Sunday March 3rd, כ"ו באדר א. When would you want her to use the mikveh? *
1 point
When would you want Elisheva to perform a hefsek tahara? *
1 point
Say Elisheva's natural cycle allows her to finish the tahara process a few days ahead of her wedding date. Do you recommend she speak to her doctor anyway about taking hormones? Why or why not? *
1 point
If Elisheva is put on the combined oral contraception pill by her doctor, what schedule of active pills and placebo pills would you like to see? Please detail the specific date after the wedding on which you would like to see her plan to switch from active to placebo pills. *
1 point
What circumstance would make you advise Elisheva to disregard the specific date you chose above and to extend the active pills further? Please detail how you would explain this theoretical situation to her in advance so she can act accordingly even without speaking with you. *
1 point
If Elisheva's cycles & her wedding do not work out smoothly without manipulation and she does not want to be on combined oral contraception, is there any other option for her? What option would you recommend she explore with her doctor? *
1 point
What practical advice can you give the Kallah to help דין דם בתולים be that much more manageable? Please detail at least 2 pieces of advice. *
1 point
When would you schedule a call with Elisheva for catching up pretty soon after the wedding? *
1 point
Around when would you schedule a "later on" call with Elisheva for catching up with her about the first stretch of marriage? *
1 point
Psak-Sensitive Questions
Must the couple attempt consummation on the wedding night, or can they adjust slowly into this new phase in life (assuming נשיקת איברים on wedding night)?
May a couple who has a חופת נידה sleep in the same home without יחוד, and if so under what conditions, or should they be sleeping in different homes?
If a couple experiences the bleeding of דם בתולים a second or a third time, is the woman טמאה? Must they check to see if there was bleeding again?
Looking forward to Session 5: The Do's & Don't's of Creating a Hashkafic Framework for Taharat HaMishpacha
Often enough to make our skin crawl, there are troubling articles about difficulties with niddah or Taharat HaMishpacha more broadly posted on widely-read forums. See this article as an example http://neshamas.com/stopped-going-mikvah/
Is there anything we can do or say when preparing Kallot for marriage that can help with this situation?
Yashar kochech and thank you!
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