Relationships, Power, and Bullyism Survey
Have you ever experienced situations that make you feel physically or emotionally hurt and humiliated? You may have experienced a form of everyday violence. This survey will help us put together The Everyday Peace Toolkit: a set of free and accessible research-based resources to help people like you address situations of everyday violence that they may encounter in their lives. As part of this project, we are carrying out a series of surveys. The current one focuses on forms of everyday control, power, and abusive in the context of everyday relationships, for example in the family, couple, workplace, community, and more.
While filling out the survey, you are welcome to follow the structure provided, or if you prefer, jump to the end and tell your story in your own words. Most of the questions will allow you to thick as many answers as you like. Go through them quickly and just thick what applies to you. There will be open questions where you could add more details.
WARNING: This is a very sensitive topic, and it could re-evoke traumatic emotions. Please do skip any questions that are not comfortable. Your well-being is the priority for us.
The survey is completely anonymous. We are not collecting personal details and we will not able able to trace your answers back to you. If you wish to stay in touch with our network, enter your contact details in the separate link provided at the end after your submission. The form will open in a separate page and will NOT be recorded together with your survey answers.
All the questions are absolutely non-judgmental. There are many detailed questions, and some may feel invasive, but remember that we make no assumptions, and we do not judge. There is no right or wrong answer. Nobody could judge what you could or should have done in those situations, or compare ‘performances’ with those of others. We are humbly here to understand and learn from you. We are deeply grateful for your help.
This project is carried out by Dr Monica Career and Dr Sylvia Frain from The Everyday Peace Initiative. You can learn more about us at
Ready to get started?
Do interactions with someone you know and meet regularly make you feel a sense of shame, humiliation, hurt, or feel invasive and controlling?
Not that I can think of
I think I did, but I cannot think of specific incidents right now
In what kind of context do these hurtful interactions happen:
Family members (parents, children, siblings, etc)
Group of peers
Other community group
Have you experienced more than one abusive or controlling relationships in your life? In what kind of contexts?
From here, we will just focus on one relationship. Choose the one that feels more important to you and you feel comfortable talking about. You are welcome to fill the questionnaire again focusing on other relationships. Do you think that previous experiences negative experiences may have influenced this relationship in some way?
Do you feel that the other person is in a position of power in this relationship? If so, why?
Has control over my finances/ properties
Has better influence over the society/ community/ work environment
Higher position in a hierarchical structure
Shared care of children or other person in need
My own care needs
Can affect my career possibilities, or other pathways that matter to me
Do you feel that any of these factors influence this relationship?
Provenience/ ethnic background
Level of education
How does the other person exercise power/influence over you?
Controlling my access to finances
Limiting my decision-making
Limiting my chances to speak
Seeking to demonstrate that I am inferior
Seeking to demonstrate I cannot do it on my own
Seeking to demonstrate I am dependant
Controlling my social activity
De-facto creating barriers to self-sustainance
Exclusion from certain activities or decision-making processes
Shaming and humiliating in the presence of others
Controlling my access to resources, benefits, pathwyas, or other things that I need
Influencing my relationship with others
Not talking part in duties, so they fall on me
The other person usually..
Asks for my opinion when we need to make choices together
Assumes he/she already know what I think, feel, or like
Tends to make choices for me
Praises and values things about me that I value, too
Understands my perspective
Seems to feel threatened by my qualities and success
Does not know or understand me well, despite knowing each other for a long time
Talks a lot about himself/herself, even when I share something about me
Enjoys having my attention
Misunderstands my intentions often
Wants me to be different
How has the relationship changed over time? Has any life event changed the relationship?
Do you have any further comments or details to add?
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