POP QUIZ PDX: Thursday, May 19

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THIS WEEK'S THEME: Land of the Freaky Giants!

Recently the Vancouver police, while investigating a man suspected of distributing child pornography, ALSO found something VERY disgusting during their search... DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT WAS?

10 points

NO, I DON'T! But I bet it had something to do with secretly videotaping people in a public restroom!

YES, I DO! And I bet ya 5 bucks the guy peed into people's milkshakes at a local Arby's.

MAYBE I DO? But please don't tell me he collected human feces to make tiny sculptures that he placed on his neighbors' porches!

I DON'T KNOW!! How can it be worse than someting your average Republican does on any given Thursday??

Clear selection

The romance novelist accused of killing her husband, Nancy Crampton Brophy, first told police she was nowhere near the murder scene... until cops produced video of her driving near the murder scene. According to Brophy's own court testimony this week, what was she doing near the murder scene?

10 points

She was parked near the murder scene so she could do some writing... she's a writer, after all!

She was just dropping by a nearby hardware store to pick up a few things (a ball-peen hammer, duct tape, large sheets of plastic)

She was driving by because she suspected her husband of having an affair and she's insanely jealous!! (But you know, not jealous enough to kill.)

She was driving over to the scene to murder her husband, but someone else got to him first! BASTARD!

Clear selection

Oregon voters may have to wait a LOT longer for the Clackamas County results from this past Tuesday's election. HOW COME?

10 points

Not enough people volunteered to staff the county's election offices

The wrong ballot was sent earlier, so voters are being given extra time

There was a ballot printing error that slowed the process, but they refused to accept many offers to help

The primarily Republican Clackamas County commission was like, "We're cancelling the election this year... we're doing a great job!"

Clear selection

Here's a mystery: While Portland's political donors have to abide by the city's strict campaign finance rules—which say you cannot personally donate more than $250 to any one candidate—which of the following groups skirted around that rule, allowing wealthy developers to give *tens of thousands* to City Council candidate Vadim Mozyrsky?

10 points

Portland Business Alliance

Portland United

People for Portland

The Portland Chapter of the Legion of Doom

Clear selection

Which beloved former Portland mayor was honored at a large outdoor event at Pioneer Square this past Sunday?

10 points

Vera Katz

Tom Potter

Bud Clark

Sam Adams (HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA... no)

Clear selection

This week in WHAT THE HELL WAS IT?? This giant man-rabbit stands outside the old Harvey Marine store in Aloha, Oregon. But it originally *wasn't* a rabbit! WHAT THE HELL WAS IT?? (Photo courtesy Steve Morgan/WikiCommons)

10 points

A giant Michelin Muffler man statue

A giant Texaco "Big Friend" statue

A giant statue of actor Jimmy Stewart

A regular-size man who asked a genie to turn him into a giant, and the genie said, "Okay... but also fuck you, because I'm also giving you the head of a rabbit."

Clear selection

Speaking of giants... which is the TALLEST of these three freaky-ass Oregon statues: "Harvey the Rabbit" (from the previous question), Medford's "The Black Bird" (at the Black Bird Shopping Center), or Portland's own "Paul Bunyan" in the Kenton neighborhood?

10 points

Aloha's freaky, pleated pants-wearing mutant, "Harvey the Rabbit"

Medford's horrific, Frankenstein fowl, "The Black Bird"

Portland's axe-wielding serial killer "Paul Bunyan"

Can't fool me, mother-effer! THEY'RE ALL EXACTLY THE SAME SIZE.

Clear selection

Workers at FOUR local coffee joints voted to unionize this week—what coffee chain are we talking about here?

10 points

Starbucks

Dutch Bros

Stumptown Coffee Roasters

Dunkin' Donuts (Employees vow to strike unless they get at least ONE Dunkin' in Oregon!)

Clear selection

THE SUBJECTIVE QUESTION (for 20 points!): Surprise! Mayor Ted Wheeler announced he will place a 35-foot-tall fiberglass statue of ANYONE YOU'D LIKE right in front of Portland City Hall. WHO SHOULD IT BE?

20 points

A shirtless Ryan Gosling

Cap'n Crunch (but with no pants)

The president of the Portland Business Alliance with a big rusty nail sticking through his foot

A huge jar of Jif Peanut Butter (that's filled every week with free peanut butter)

An exact replica of City Hall, except it's populated with live cats wearing tiny business attire

Janet Jackson (or "Ms. Jackson," if one is nasty)

A 35-foot-tall wiener with Rene Gonzalez' head on top

A shirtless Ryan Gosling holding a baby

Dua Lipa (but with catapults for arms)

A gigantic rooster that crows "Fuck the Patriarchy!" every morning at 6:00 AM

A similar rooster, but this one crows "Fuck Portland's Wealthy Developer Community!" every half hour

Wm. Steven Humphrey holding a shirtless Ryan Gosling who's holding a baby

Clear selection

FINAL QUESTION: Do you like FREE PIZZA and scoring big on our weekly Pop Quiz PDX? Then sign up for our Mercury newsletters by submitting YOUR EMAIL below, and not only will you receive the newsy info you need to get a great score, you'll also be entered to win a $60 gift card for FREE PIZZA & MORE FROM THE DELICIOUS ATLAS PIZZA! What? Yesssssss! (Prizes given out monthly!)

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