I Know What Not To Do: On having kids (someday)

Only a few of my friends have kids. Many plan to have them in the next five years and, statistically speaking, most will have them in the next ten. Given that parenting is one of the most important, concerning, and fascinating (isn't it fascinating? I find it so fascinating!) aspects of our lives; and given that people's attitudes seem to change so much once the calamity of parenthood has struck, I thought I'd do a little longitudinal study.

I called it I Know What Not To Do because that's what people tell me when I ask them how they plan to raise their kids.

Here's how it works: You write your answers here and send them to me. I will write an article about them (keeping your name and any other identifying details anonymous) and then when you have a kid I'll show it to you and we'll have a good larf.
You'll probably also at that time be given a chance to take it all back.

If you've already got kids, feel free to forward this highly scientific questionnaire to people who don't.
The more the merrier! Especially in the family bed!

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