Reflective Insightful Quiz for ALL parents / Teachers (By Aarohi Life Education)

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This is not your regular quiz – here for each question / situation you need to give two answers!!
· One that you normally do (or would have done) – this helps you to become aware of your current thinking (and beliefs). If what you do spans many responses – choose many.
· Second, choose a response that looks interesting, different – something that you would like to explore, experiment and understand more. Your second response could be same as your first.

Note: We have used either gender randomly – all situations are applicable to both gender children and to both parents. (Visual above is taken from Bill Watterson's 'Calvin and Hobbes' comics)

1) You get to know that your child has just now told you a lie, is hiding something, and not telling you the right thing.

I tell the child that its not good to lie and give a small talk about honesty.

I get upset and scold the child saying that I hate being told lies. I question her why she is doing so.

I tell the child that she must be fulfilling some need of hers and I would like to understand the needs so that together we can understand each other.

I tell the child that my ‘trust’ has been broken and that I’m hurt.

2) Your child complains that he is being bullied in school / college

I talk to the child. I suggest to him how he can face such bullies. I give him few options / strategies that will work. I might even share some of my personal examples. I encourage / motivate him to fight back.

I will go and talk to the teacher / principal of the school / college. This needs to be stopped immediately.

I Will tell the child - “Come on its not a big deal. Stop fussing now. Learn in life to face such situations”. (Or i may ignore this situation)

I would start by asking him to share his feelings and thoughts about this situation. Then I would ask the child what he or she would like to do? If he says, “I don’t know how” I would suggest he thinks more about it and we can discuss when he is ready with his strategies

3) You want your child to grow into a confident and assertive person.

On a regular basis – we discuss our days and each one of us expresses how our day / week was: Where we were confident and where we were not and how we dealt with situations sometimes passively, sometimes aggressively and sometimes assertively and how each helped / did not and so on. To ensure discussions are open we avoid any right / wrong way of doing stuff

I encourage my child to be assertive in every situation. I guide her how she could have behaved in a situation. I give her positive strokes. I praise her to make her feel more confident.

I show her examples of how others (her peers) have been handling situation more confidently and assertively.

I put my child in classes / workshops where her personality can be groomed and she can gain more confidence in herself.

4) A friend or relative of yours pulls your child's cheeks / hugs the child - while the child is clearly uncomfortable about this physical contact.

I object to my friend / relative and stop them. I tell them that my child does not like this.

I tell my child (now or later) that it is alright for uncles and aunties to do this - they are only showing affection.

I listen to how my child feels when people do this kind of actions. I will then ask him what he would like to do about it. I ask the child to think of many optional responses. I continue to proactively listen to child's feelings and thoughts about these kind of interactions in future.

I normally scold the child right then and there - not to make faces, not to make a fuss, to acknowledge their affection.

5) Your child finds it difficult to do homework or project and is showing no interest in doing it. When questioned she expresses, “I am not good at Writing / Maths etc”

I listen to and acknowledge child’s disinterest / challenges. I realise that motivation is something that has to come from inside the child. I let the child decide how she wants to move ahead on learning this and emphasise that I am with the child.

I sit with the child to get homework / project done. I give extra attention so that she develops these important skills.

I put child in classes or some kind of tutoring which will help child develop the required skills

I normally scold the child as being lazy. I get upset that she is spending so much time in other things like TV or internet. I compare the child to sibling / other children.

6) Your child is very good at painting and likes to spend a lot of time at it.

I am proud of my child. I show his work to everybody, put it up on FB, etc. I am excited when my child wins prizes in various painting competitions.

I put my child in various painting classes. I push my child to become a master; I wish he becomes the best.

While I like his painting skills, I would like him to focus on his studies, move up on his grades – after all we need to think about his career.

I acknowledge his skills and interest. I let him decide how much he wants to focus on painting and how much on other things. I let him decide when and what classes he wants to attend, if any.

7) Your child is very angry / upset with a friend of hers and she is not talking to anybody and instead fighting with her friend.

I think it is alright to feel what one feels. I acknowledge her feelings. I give her space to figure out how she wants to develop her relationships with others.

I tell the child that her behaviour is unacceptable and inform her of dire consequences if she continues to behave like this.

I tell child what she should do – how she should deal with her friend and it is important to develop better social skills.

Her (this kind of) behaviour irritates me very much. I expect my child to do things in a more responsible manner. I express my irritation to her in many ways.

8) You want to teach the child the right values. You are also not sure what the child is learning from his friends / media

I keep a check on my child. I often look into the kind of friends, books, websites etc the child interacts with.

Frankly i don't bother about this too much - I believe there is nothing needed to do - the child will grow up fine.

I often talk to my child about values like honesty, hard work etc. I also tell him to stay away from 'that kind of people' and from stuff like alcohol, smoking etc.

I believe that child learns from his experiences. Hence I create a space where we can openly share what we valued in any expereince. I also solicit child's views (without judging them or imposing my views) on various decision making scenarios - which is where values come into play.

9) What you think is your role / objective as a parent?

To ensure that the child gets good education and a decent job

To ensure that the child has a happy and safe childhood and grows into a successful adult

To ensure that child grows to be a good person with high values who contributes to the society.

To provide the child a relationship and an environment in which the child can grow the way the child wants to grow.

Your views / thoughts after doing the quiz - share with us PLEASE

Your Name

Your Phone (pref with Whatsapp) *

Your Email

Your City

Children's age

Would you like us to send information about any of these using Whatsapp?

Join Jagriti Facilitation prog for parents & teachers

Visit / Stay at Aarohi Campus

Your family joining Aarohi Community

Your family doing Open Learning / UnSchooling / HomeSchooling

Quiz by Aarohi Open Learning Community

The idea of this quiz is make you aware that:

There are so many ways to respond to any situation / aspect of parenting.
While we may aware of many of these - we maybe doing things the way even we do not want to do (kind of habituated or conditioned response - that we don't really like)
Some of our beliefs are actually limiting our own children and it would do good to us to look beyond them.
Since we all want to be effective and ‘good’ parents - we need to proactively weed-out these stressful ways and replace them with more joyous ways of living life with our children.

* Click here to read a brief explanation of each quiz question.
* If you would like to be part of an intense, interesting and invigorating perspective shaking kind of program - that would definitely help you as parent - and in turn make a huge difference to your children - not only for their future - but for their today! Check out our JAGRITI program or email to ratnesh@aarohilife.org or Whatsapp Aarohi at 72040-66694

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