Sharing Stories of Reid Mihalko's Misconduct

Stories are currently being collected on a rolling basis. Round 1 of analysis has completed and a round 2 will happen when more stories come in. Currently Aida is the liaison with Reid's accountability pod, and the core pod is comprised of them, Sarah Sloane, and a community member, while Shanna Katz and AV Flox remain as backup support.

The two people who have full access to this form and its contents are Aida Manduley (reachable at aida.manduley AT gmail dot com) and Sarah Sloane (sarah.sloane AT gmail dot com). No one else will be reading these materials unless permission is explicitly granted by each individual who submits a story.


Once the story broke that Kelly Shibari publicly named Reid Mihalko as having been sexually harassing and coercive (during not just a specific incident, but also over the span of multiple years) many members of the broad sexuality professional community began discussing what happened, what needed to happen now, and how things could change.

If this story and situation is unfamiliar to you, you can follow along with some of the public statements and conversations as compiled here:

As members of Kelly's support pod (read: a group of people dedicated to helping Kelly—and other people impacted by Reid's behaviors—along this process of healing and demanding accountability), we have created this form so people can share personal stories of Reid Mihalko's misconduct. We have already received stories about sexual manipulation, gaslighting, and problematic behaviors around business and branding, so feel free to be candid and share whatever feels relevant as far as highlighting incidents and behavioral patterns that are abusive, unhealthy, uncomfortable, and/or problematic if analyzed through a lens of power/privilege.

We believe that if Reid is to change, and that our community is to heal and transform overall, silence is not a helpful tool. We must come together in transparency and a spirit of sharing to ensure that true accountability, not performative accountability, takes place.

Thus, we see this for as a tool to do the following:
1. help people share their stories and be witnessed, knowing they've broken their silence
2. inform the accountability processes from the survivor/impacted parties end of things
3. (if stories are shared publicly in some fashion) help other people come forward and see that they’re not alone

We have created this Google Form as a method of collecting stories in an INDEPENDENT and COMPLEMENTARY way to the methods Reid's accountability pod is using. Submitting a story here does not mean you are sharing it with Reid's pod and vice-versa.

Our core plan is to analyze the stories shared for patterns and behaviors as we make a list of healing actions and accountability requests, and there is also the possibility of creating a public space where some of the stories can be shared (with people's consent).

Here's a space where you can share your story in as much or little detail as you prefer. (We encourage you to give context/analysis of the behaviors you found to be a problem, too.) *
Your answer
How would you like for us to handle your identity in this project? *
How do you consent to your story being shared, if at all? *
What name(s) would you like to go by? Please indicate here and specify if these are legal names, pseudonyms, initials, "anonymous," etc. and in which settings to use which: *
Your answer
How would you like us to contact you if we have any clarifying questions or updates? *
Please leave corresponding contact information related to the above question:
Your answer
Please give us any more details that may help us protect you information and privacy. (For example, if you're okay with your name being shared publicly, but only under certain circumstances, let us know what those circumstances are.)
Your answer
Do you have any identities you'd like to note here, especially (but not solely) if you feel they impacted how you experienced your interactions with Reid? (We have listed various relevant and/or marginalized identities you may want to consider sharing)
Have you read the entirety of this document? *
Anything else you'd like us to know?
Your answer
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