The Marriage Myth Survey
I have a few questions for you...
For some questions there may be several answers that apply - just pick the one that feels the strongest to you - without overthinking it. Go with your first instinct.
VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW THIS –
There are two options you can take with this survey, because I realize the questions are deeply personal and private.
1. You can share your name and email. Know that what you say here never goes any further. This is confidential, private, and will not be discussed by me.
2. You can fill out this survey anonymously – I can’t put your name in the drawing, but that’s ok for me, if it’s okay with you.
Your name (required if you want to be entered to win a Strategy session with me)
Your email address (required if you want to be entered to win a Strategy session with me)
1. What do you struggle most with in your marriage?
Feeling like I do everything + my career
Feeling like he doesn’t hear me or see me
Feeling attacked and ridiculed by my husband
There is no connection – it is like a flatline
He had an affair and I am struggling to get over it
I am having an affair and it is both wonderful and horrible to live a double life
2. What do YOU believe needs to happen to make it better?
He needs to change
I just want him to hear and love me
Money, if I had the money to leave – that would make it better
I just want to know how to reconnect
I want to understand why he cheated
I want the connection in my marriage that I have with my lover
3. If you knew for certain that he would never change, but that you could – and it might save your marriage, you would:
Tell me he is the one with problems. Stop filling this survey out and unsubscribe immediately
Feel afraid and sad – but still want to know what you can do differently
Feel anger and frustration – but still want to know what you can do differently
Not believe me – maybe you would stick around to hear more, but maybe not
Feel relief that finally you found the right person to help you
If you have already decided you want a divorce, skip question 4 and go to number 5. If you want to stay married, answer question 4, then skip to question 6.
4. You know that you love your husband. You know there are problems, but you have released the anger and the blame, you just want to take the next step to reconnect. You are:
Willing to invest whatever you need to, to make it work. Where do I start?
Interested, but want to take it slowly, hopefully win the strategy session and see where that goes.
Open to invest a small amount of your time, energy and money, but, until you see some results you are skeptical
5. You know there is no way to make your marriage work – you just:
Don’t know what to do next
Are concerned for your children and family – so you go back and forth
Worried that you will end up in another relationship like the one you are in now
Are afraid of being single again
6. What do you need to take the next step – stay married or get divorced –
To work with someone that I can reach out to whenever I need help – which might be every day
To know I am not alone
To know I am not making a mistake
Just some information
Someone that I can work with once per week to help me figure this out
Someone I can work with every two weeks or so.
To know I am not crazy and not a bad person
7. If you had to rate your level of unhappiness what would it be:
Totally and completely miserable – a 10
Very unhappy and confused – 7
Angry, but managing – 5
Moderating, I just know things can be better– 3
8. How ready are you to commit to yourself?
I’m ready, right now
I’m not sure
In a month or two – I need to get some things together
Not immediately – funds are tight
Probably not for a while – I’m not sure I believe anything will work
9. What terrible little gremlins would keep you from doing something?
Doubt – I’m not sure what to expect
Fear – that I will discover I have to divorce
Fear – that I discover I have to stay married
Confusion about what to do
10. Looking back, why you think you married him?
I don’t really know
It just seemed like the next step
I loved him
He loved me
I wanted to escape my life
I never thought about it
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