The Stop the Bleeding Method: A Journey of Painful but Life-Saving Restoration

When someone sustains a life-threatening physical wound, the immediate focus of any doctor or first responder is to stop the bleeding. This critical intervention prevents further damage and gives the individual a chance to survive. While this process may be swift and decisive, it is also often excruciatingly painful for a conscious person. Pressure is applied directly to the wound, causing intense discomfort, but without it, healing cannot begin.

For an unconscious person, the process may be even more involved. They may require a blood transfusion, sutures, or other urgent medical interventions. In these moments, the wounded individual has no control over what is happening. Others must act decisively to preserve their life.

At Ninety One, we recognize that the healing of the soul follows a similar pattern.

Stopping the Bleeding in the Spirit

When you come to us in a state of spiritual, emotional, or relational crisis, our first priority is to stop the bleeding. This means confronting the most immediate and dangerous issues threatening your well-being—whether they are hidden sins, unresolved conflicts, or the wounds inflicted by betrayal, burnout, or failure.

Stopping the bleeding is painful. Just as physical pressure is applied to a wound, truth must be applied to areas of your life that have been damaged by deception, sin, or denial. This truth-telling process can hurt. Facing the full reality of your situation may feel overwhelming, but it is the first and most necessary step toward restoration. Healing cannot begin if the bleeding is not first brought under control.

The Role of Honesty and Surrender

For healing to be effective, there must be a commitment to honesty and a willingness to trust those helping you through the process. At Ninety One, we are here to apply the necessary pressure in love. This requires:

Acknowledging the Wound: Recognizing the source of pain, brokenness, or sin.Allowing the Pain of Truth: Facing hard realities instead of avoiding them.Trusting the Process: Even when it feels uncomfortable, trusting that healing is possible through accountability, grace, and the power of God’s truth.When You Are Unconscious in Spirit

There are times when pain or trauma has left a person spiritually unconscious. In these cases, external intervention is needed—what we might call a spiritual transfusion. This may involve surrounding you with prayer, counsel, and the loving actions of others who stand in the gap on your behalf. It may feel like you are powerless in these moments, but know that God works through His people to restore what has been broken.

Pain Precedes Healing

Just as stopping physical bleeding can be agonizing but life-saving, the healing of the soul requires endurance through discomfort. Healing takes time, but stopping the initial flow of destruction brings hope.

You are not alone in this process. We are committed to walking with you through the pain so you can move beyond survival into a life marked by true freedom, peace, and restoration.

In moments of crisis or deep personal struggle, recognizing that you need help is often the first step—but clearly defining the help you need is crucial to finding healing. Think of your life as a journey, and a season of hardship as a storm that has left you lost at sea. The right kind of help is not just a rescue boat but a map, compass, and guiding hand that leads you back to solid ground.

Identifying the Nature of the Wound

The first step in defining the help you need is acknowledging where you hurt. Ask yourself:

What is broken? Is it a relationship? Your integrity? Your sense of self-worth or your connection to God? What patterns are keeping you trapped? Are you caught in cycles of sin, fear, anger, or despair? What truth have you avoided? Healing requires confronting hard truths. It may be time to admit the full weight of mistakes, failures, or wounds inflicted by others.

Defining your need means recognizing whether your wound is emotional, spiritual, relational, or physical, understanding that most struggles intertwine these areas. Like a doctor diagnosing a critical injury, clarity about your condition allows for the right treatment.

Acknowledging What You Cannot Do Alone

The human instinct for independence often keeps us from seeking help until we are overwhelmed. To define the help you need, you must admit your limitations:

You cannot fix spiritual wounds with human willpower alone. Healing requires God’s grace.You cannot restore broken trust or relationships in isolation. Reconciliation takes community and wise counsel.You cannot overcome hidden sin or secret pain by denying it exists. Honesty is the starting point.

When you admit, “I cannot do this alone,” you open the door for transformative help. Define not just the struggle but the assistance you are willing to accept—guidance, prayer, accountability, or rest.

Choosing the Right Kind of Help

Not all help leads to healing. True help offers truth, not just comfort. It may challenge your assumptions, push you toward repentance, or force you to confront behaviors or beliefs that have kept you stuck. Ask yourself:

Do you need someone to listen and offer compassionate presence, or do you need direct counsel?Do you need immediate intervention to stop destructive behaviors, or are you seeking long-term growth and restoration?

Define help that aligns with honesty, accountability, and God’s truth. Avoid the temptation to seek only those who tell you what you want to hear. True help often includes correction, but it will always lead toward freedom and restoration.

Opening Yourself to Receive

Finally, defining the help you need requires humility and surrender. Once you recognize your wounds and limitations and seek the right guidance, you must also be willing to trust the process. Healing takes time. It may feel painful, but it brings life.

At Ninety One, we walk alongside you to help define, seek, and embrace the right kind of help, grounded in God’s grace and truth. Together, we’ll stop the bleeding, tend the wounds, and guide you toward restoration, wholeness, and peace.

Creating a Plan for Healing and Moving Forward

At Ninety One, we believe healing is both a journey of restoration and a pathway to renewed purpose. When life’s storms shake the very foundation of your calling—whether through divorce, public shame, or the desire to step away from ministry—having a clear plan provides direction, clarity, and hope for the future. Here’s how to define your path forward and begin the process of rebuilding with intention and grace.

Step 1: Recognize and Define the Wound

Every healing journey begins with truth. Before charting your next steps, you must honestly confront what has happened and how it has affected you. Ask yourself:

What is the primary pain or loss? Is it the pain of divorce, betrayal, or the disillusionment of ministry?What emotions or behaviors are hindering healing? Identify fear, anger, shame, or bitterness that needs to be addressed.What lies are you believing? (e.g., "I am no longer worthy to lead," or "God is done with me.")

Naming the wound allows you to bring it into the light of God’s truth, where healing begins.

Step 2: Clarify the Outcome You Desire

Healing without vision is directionless. Define the life you want to build, even if it feels distant or impossible right now. This may include:

For a Divorced Pastor: Finding purpose outside of marriage, rediscovering your calling, or building a new personal life while embracing your continued role in ministry (or a new vocation).For a First Lady Facing Public Shame: Reclaiming your identity beyond the role of "pastor's wife," finding community outside of judgment, and discerning how to heal publicly while rebuilding privately.For a Pastor Transitioning from Ministry: Identifying your transferable skills, passions outside of preaching, and practical steps toward a new career that still honors your spiritual gifts.

By clarifying where you want to go, you create a target for healing, not just an escape from pain.

Step 3: Develop an Actionable Plan for Healing

Healing plans require both spiritual renewal and practical strategies. Here’s how to craft yours:

1. Spiritual Restoration Establish Regular Quiet Time: Dedicate daily time to pray, meditate on Scripture, and listen for God’s voice. Healing flows from intimacy with God.Seek Wise Counsel and Accountability: Meet regularly with trusted counselors or spiritual mentors who provide godly wisdom, truth, and support.Embrace Forgiveness: Forgiveness—whether toward others or yourself—is a non-negotiable step. Name those you need to forgive, and begin the process, even if it feels slow.2. Emotional and Mental Healing Identifying Core Beliefs That Need Reshaping: Replace shame-based thoughts ("I’m a failure") with God’s truth ("My identity is in Christ, not my role or past").Participate in Group or Peer Support: Connect with others who share similar experiences, fostering community and encouragement.3. Practical Life and Ministry Decisions

For a Pastor Transitioning Out of Ministry:

Identify skills and experiences that can transfer to new roles (e.g., leadership, counseling, teaching).Consider vocational coaching to explore new career opportunities while staying aligned with your God-given purpose.Pray for clarity on whether ministry is a season that is ending or a redirection to a new form of service.

For a First Lady or Public Figure Navigating Shame:

Establish Boundaries with the Public: Not everyone deserves access to your process. Create clear lines between public responsibilities and private healing spaces.Focus on identity beyond roles: Rediscover who you are in Christ, apart from titles and public expectations.Choose safe, trusted circles for vulnerability and support.

For a Divorced Pastor:

Consider counseling for grieving both marriage and ministry implications.Work with a mentor or spiritual director to discern if and how you will continue in ministry, understanding that failure in marriage does not disqualify God’s call.Reflect on how this experience has deepened your empathy and pastoral heart for others who suffer similarly.

Step 4: Create Short- and Long-Term Goals

Break your healing and transition into manageable steps:

Short-Term Goals (0–3 months):

Meet weekly with a counselor or mentor.Begin journaling prayers, reflections, and new insights about your identity and purpose.Take a short sabbatical if possible to rest and refocus.

Medium-Term Goals (3–6 months):

Develop new routines that prioritize spiritual growth, physical health, and emotional wellness.Begin exploring or training for new opportunities if transitioning from ministry.Rebuild or establish healthy relationships that nurture your personal and spiritual life.

Long-Term Goals (6+ months):

Settle into a new life rhythm with clarity on your role and identity.Step fully into your next season, whether that is continuing in ministry with fresh insight, embracing a new career, or ministering in non-traditional ways.Step 5: Embrace Grace and Patience

Healing is not linear. It requires grace, perseverance, and surrender to God’s timing. Understand:

There will be setbacks and moments of doubt.Your healing process is unique—avoid comparisons.God’s love and calling on your life remain firm, even when circumstances change.

Remember Isaiah 43:19: "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."

At Ninety One, we are here to walk with you as you define your healing plan, rediscover your purpose, and step into God’s new season for your life with courage and hope. The road ahead may be unfamiliar, but with clarity, community, and Christ as your guide, healing and restoration are within reach.