Hey there, "plinkterns," or, as we in the HLF like to call you, "future insider threats"
We undertsand that you might be getting a lot of information from the IHPL. Most of that information paints us as the villain, the EVIL group that wants to destroy the pure and innocent International Horse Plinko League. But it's not quite that simple, it never is. Sure, we might actually be
evil, but we're not
bad guys, really. And the IHPL ain't saints themselves, either; have they ever told you how they get those horses so rubbery? Or what "Plinko Sauce™" is?? Or where they even get their funding from??? Or why they want you to ship all that Plinko Sauce
™ to their secret island fortress????
Yeah. I didn't think so.
We want to give you an opportunity, a glorious opportunity to do the right thing and alleviate the heavy, heavy weight of your sins. We're sure you didn't know what you were getting into with those IHPL bastards. So we want to help you make the right choice. The only right choice. Make it. Now.