YOUR ADVICE AND OPINIONS ABOUT: Women Business Owners with Unsupportive Husbands
Thank you for taking an interest in and for giving your advice and opinions about the attitudes and beliefs of women business owners who have unsupportive husbands and the effect it has on the marriage, their family, and the business. After reading The Big Why, providing your advice and opinions will take about 10 minutes to complete. We would appreciate your thoughts, when prompted, too. Because of the sensitive nature of this topic your answers will be held in the strictest of confidence. Thank you for being an original contributor. For more information, please visit our beta-website, Your replies are adding substantive value to my book, "How to Thrive In Your Business & Survive Your Unsupportive Husband" (scheduled for release in 2020), and the course of the same name, this year (2019).
Email address *
The Big Why
In the last 5 years, women have been starting businesses at a faster rate, employ more economically disadvantaged women and contribute at a higher level to their local economy than their male counterparts. If a woman is struggling with an unsupportive husband, not only is her family suffering, but her business may stall or fail. The effects can be significant. Her struggles can reflect negatively on economic development, the people she employs, the local economy through the jobs she creates, the taxes she pays, the customers she serves, and for the contributions she makes through direct donations or donations-in-kind.

There have been countless studies conducted on business, on business' effects on marriage, on the emotional toll of a start-up on relationships, etc... But, there has never been a study on women business owners with unsupportive husbands and the negative effects this dynamic has on the marriage, the family, the business, and the economy---locally, nationally and globally---until now.

Even if your marriage is strong and healthy, or if you are divorced, separated or widowed, the advice and the answers you provide are critical to establishing benchmarks. Regardless of your situation, your advice will be compiled to determine the range of support women business owners experience from their husbands, establish what is healthy support and what isn't, and develop tools, actionable steps, and programs that will allow women business owners, with unsupportive husbands, to not only survive, but thrive in their businesses.

*We apologize in advance if any offense is taken due to the traditional language of husband/wife. Our intention is not to exclude anyone, but to focus on the dynamic present in traditional married roles---the male husband and the female wife --- due to the large numbers that demographic still represents. Other group samplings may be statistically too small potentially negating the research and ultimately the message. It is our hope and intent that the compilation of your collective advice and the subsequent materials will benefit all women business owners which will in turn empower the people they employ and bolster the communities they invest in.

Are you currently married? *
How long have you been married/in a committed relationship? *
How old are you? *
Ethnicity: Please select the one category that most closely resembles your ethnic background. *
If married, current state of your marriage:
Bags are packed
When we were first married, my husband was my best friend. I trusted him with my dreams, successes and failures. I could count on him. We really enjoyed being with each other. *
Red flags were ignored
So true.
How many children do you have? This includes children that are under your care full or part-time, biological, step, adopted, foster, even out of the house (away at college, adult-on-their-own counts). *
What are the ages of your children? *
Is your husband working? *
How long have you been in business? *
How would you describe your business?
What primary business/industry are you in? *
How many FT employees do you have? FT is defined as 35 hours+ p/week AND a W2 employee. *
Gross Revenue for the business for the last fiscal year? *
Are you taking reliable, increasing income on a regular basis (monthly or bi-weekly) from the business? *
My husband/family contributed financially to the business. *
I have used new business financing options (e.g. KickStart, Kabbage, PayPal Working Credit, Amazon Lending) *
If you haven't taken out new business financing options, why not? *
I have taken out traditional business financing loans (e.g.: lines of credit from bank, SBA loans). *
If you haven't taken out traditional business financing loans, why not? *
General condition of current state of business: *
What have I done?
My happy place!
I discuss the good, the bad and the ugly of my business with my husband: *
Not true
All of it and then some!
After discussing a situation, good or bad, about the business with my husband, he offers advice and/or solutions, even if I didn't ask for them. *
Not true
When he offers suggestions and/or advice, solicited or not, it is smart, and often helpful. *
Not true
Even if the message is accurate, his delivery can be mean-spirited, demeaning, and belittling. *
Not true
Business Challenges: Employees/Labor/Personnel (finding, keeping) *
Where did the good people go?
Best. Team. Ever.
Business Challenges: Finances (profit, bookkeeping, cash flow) *
I'm not sleeping well at night.
Forget top-line revenue, bottom-line cash is King!
Business Challenges: Quality Control (services: execution; manufacturing: q.c. & fulfillment) *
What quality? What control?
< than 3% defective rate.
Business Challenges: Market Forces (competition, Google/Amazon ... changes, economy) *
Will nothing stay the same??!
Bring it on! It keeps me on my toes!
Business Challenges: Outside Forces (family, illness/injury, non-business responsibilities, volunteer, church) *
I can't say no.
Adds value and isn't a burden.
Business Challenges: Marketing (defining and securing customers) *
I don't know who my customer is, their likes or their purchasing habits.
Dialed into my primary and secondary markets.
Business Challenges: Overwhelmed with too much to do *
Boundaries? What are those?
Prioritizing and maintaining boundaries keeps my day in control.
Business Challenges: Best business practices *
Seat of my pants. Who has time to develop processes?
Chaos is not welcome here. Only best business practices and processes.
Marriage Challenges: Too busy to make marriage a priority *
Haven't made a date night in weeks, um, months.
A strong home foundation allows me to handle the world's pressures.
Marriage Challenges: Parenting *
We fight too much or disagree about parenting issues.
We're on the same page, chapter and verse when it comes to our children.
Marriage Challenges: Sex *
Fighting/tension about how often/not enough.
Sex is fulfilling and something we look forward to.
Marriage Challenges: Division of Household Chores *
You know the book, "The Second Shift?" It was written with me in mind.
Gifts, talents and strengths are encouraged and supported.
Marriage Challenges: Alcohol and/or drug use *
It's a painful part of our story.
Luckily not our problem.
Marriage Challenges: Adultery (literally, emotionally or pornography) *
It's a painful part of our story.
Luckily not our problem.
Marriage Challenges: Addictions of any kind (e.g. gambling, shopping, tv/gaming, etc..) *
It's a painful part of our story.
Luckily not our problem.
Marriage Challenges: Finances *
Constant state of tension. We're jumpy when there is a knock on the door and the phone rings. I don't go through our mail everyday.
Very good handle on our finances (no debt, college/ retirement/ emergency accounts funded). We cheerfully tithe/donate and even splurge a little.
Marriage Challenges: Hobbies *
We don't have shared hobbies.
We share so much in common, we have to draw straws!
Marriage Challenges: Outside influences (in-laws, neighborhood, keeping up with the Joneses, traffic issues, the economy) *
Can't get a handle on it.
Marriage Challenges: Husband's Inconsistencies *
My husband has moods like shifting sands. So confusing!
I can always count on my husband's calm, cool demeanor.
Marriage Challenges: My Inconsistencies *
I am an emotionally charged woman.
My family and husband would describe me as calm and in control of my emotions.
Marriage Challenges: Communication Styles *
Polar opposites
Respectful, thoughtful and caring
Marriage Challenges: Pride in Home (Renting/Owning) *
C.H.A.O.S. Can't Have Anybody Over Syndrome
Clean, Comfortable and Calming
Frequency of Passive Aggressive communication in your conversations. Whether you do it, he does it or you both do it. *
We are too snarky, too often. "Fine, whatever!" (intention to dismiss the other)
Assertive, open, direct (without aggression)
I respect my husband. *
My husband cherishes me *
Characterize YOUR behavior when you and your husband argue: *
1 = Never/Strongly Disagree 5 = Almost Always/Strongly Agree
You raise your voice almost always
You point a finger harshly
You retreat or withdraw emotionally
You stomp off to another room or leave the house
You hurl insults and accusations
You bring up the past
You use name calling, swearing, throw things, slam doors
You often resort to slapping, pushing, slugging, spitting
You threaten to leave/take the children, and/or make "I'll show you" comments
Your children are often frightened (younger) or angry (older)
You have harmed your husband physically more than once
You desperately tre to get him to understand your side of the story/argument
You display responsible dialogue committed to resolution and/or agree to disagree that honors him
Now, characterize your HUSBAND's behavior when the two of you argue: *
1 = Never/Strongly Disagree 5 = Almost Always/Strongly Agree
He yells loudly, points a finger
He shuts down or shuts you out
He retreats and/or withdraws emotionally
He stomps off to another room or leaves the house
He hurls insults and accusations
He brings up the past, old mistakes during current argument
He uses name calling, swearing, throws/pushes things, slams doors
He often resorts to slapping, pushing, slugging, spitting
He threatens to leave/take the children, "I'll show you" type of comments
Your husband has physically harmed you more than once
He has a threatening approach as part of his fighting arsenal
He displays responsible dialogue committed to resolution and/or agree to disagree that honors you
If the stars aligned, how would you like your husband to support you? *
No way
Not sure
I'll think about it.
I'd like that, a lot
Does not apply
Join you in the business
Give money to shore up business, no questions asked
Gives me, "You go girl!"
Celebrate my victories with me
Hold me when I've stumbled, failed
The world is a dangerous place. Home shouldn't be. I would like to have his consistent support.
I'd like him to be able to describe his fears (losing money, not seeing me) in a thoughtful, mature manner
Be proud of me
What has surprised you about your husband's reaction to you building your business? *
Your answer
If your husband is unsupportive, what do you think the crux of the issue is? *
Your answer
What is your biggest challenge and/or frustration? *
Your answer
What is working for you and your husband with regards to your business? *
Your answer
I am open to taking a new point of view to get the results I want. *
I am open to reading, taking webinars and/or coaching to discover new ways to thrive in my business and survive my marriage. *
What do you hope to learn from the soon to be published book, "Till Business Do Us Part. How To THRIVE in your business & SURVIVE your unsupportive husband" ? *
Your answer
Name (First name only is fine) and optional contact information. Your anonymity will be honored. But, if you believe your situation, insights or comments could help other women, please feel free to comment below, and state that you would like to be a contributor to the soon to be released book, "Till Business Do Us Part," and/or interested in the on-line course, or you just want to talk to me about your situation, be sure to provide contact information. For more information, please visit our website,
Your answer
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