"You aren't listening!!"
I bet you have already said or heard this same phrase. Or, maybe, you have witnessed conversations similar to this one: people talking and not actually being heard. A difficult or impaired comunication. Not very comfortable, right? But have you already thought of how well you listen to people? Are you really listening when someone is talking to you, or...?

Here is a quick questionaire for you to check out your listening skills. And I will send you a feedback.
Thank you for your interest and I'll see you soon!
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Let's begin! Read carefully each question, picture yourself in the situation, choose one of the options, and go to the next one.
1. My mind gets busy with other thoughts, especially when people are talking about things I don't want to listen to or things I do not agree with.
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2. Even though the subject is not particularlly interesting to me, I focus on what is being said.
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3. Normally, in the middle of a conversation, I realize what the other person is talking about and I just stop listening.
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4. When someone is talking, I tend to repeat to myself the words the person has just said.
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5. Even when people think differently, I use to listen to their opinions.
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6. I pay attention to people, because I believe there's always something I can learn.
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7. When the words are not familiar to me, I figure their meanings out paying attention to the context they are being expressed.
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8. I have no patience to listen to people, that's why I create a rejection in my mind when somebody is talking.
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9. I give the impression I am a good listener, even though when I am not listening to a single word that's being said.
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10. My thoughts travel when someone is talking.
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11. I am a good listener. I capture the whole message, verbal and non-verbal.
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12. I understand that the words not always mean exactly the same thing for different people. 
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13. I have a strong selective listening skill; I only listen to what interests me and delete the rest of my mind.
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14. I look straight to the person who's talking.
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15. I focus on what the other is trying to communicate, the meaning of it, what is being said, and the person's facial gestures when he's talking.
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16. I know which words and phrases move me.
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17. Before I speak, I clarify the objectives of the message in my mind.
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18. I choose the right time to tell someone anything.
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19. Before I speak, I think how the other person might react to my words.
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20. When I communicate anything, I consider the best way to do it - written or spoken, e-mail or phone call, for example.
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21. Before I speak, I thing about the listener's characteristics and feelings. 
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22. I use to interrupt the other person's speech when I think I have already understood the message. 
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23. People are obvious. So, it's normal for me to presume what they are about to say, and I simply stop listening.
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24. When someone says or does anything I dislike, I become defensive.
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25. I care about the way I communicate, so I like to practice to be an efficient listener.
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26. I write down what people say, so that I won't forget.
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27. I allow myself to be distracted by sounds. 
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28. I listen to people without judging or critizising them. I just undestand them.
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29. I repeat the message to be certain I understood it correctly.
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30. I practice empathy paraphrasing what I believe the person's feelings are.
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This questionaire was adapted from:
MARTINS, Vera. Seja Assertivo! - como ser direto, objetivo e fazer o que tem de ser feito: como construir relacionamentos saudáveis usando a assertividade. Rio de Janeiro: Alta Books, 2017, p. 166-171.
(MARTINS, Vera. Be Assertive! - how to be direct,  objective, and do what has to be done: how to build healthy relationships using assertiveness. Alta Books, 2017, p. 166-171. - (free translation).
Done! You have completes the test!

Please, revise and make any necessary adjustments concerning your name and e-mail address before sending this form, so that you can soon receive your feedback.

Here is the link to the Farol Psicologias' site, where you can also find further information about the My+assertiveSelf Program.

Feel free to visit us at any time! it is indeed a joy to have you with us! On the site you can contact me / Farol psicologias on WhatsApp, by e-mail or just send a message there. I do respond!

Thank you for your interest in participating. 
See you soon! Kind regards,
Andréa P. Miglionico
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