POP QUIZ PDX: Thursday, September 8

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THIS WEEK'S THEME: Chick-fil-A is Garbage.

UGH! Another gross Chick-fil-A restaurant is making plans to come to the Portland area... but what type of existing building are they thinking of moving into?

10 points

A weed shop in Southeast Portland

A strip club in the Montavilla neighborhood

A bank in the Pearl District

A Happy Valley mega church (where they'll feel right at home)

Clear selection

This November you'll be voting on a big change in the way Portland government works—a measure thoughtfully considered and based on the opinions of thousands of Portlanders. However one city commissioner in particular thinks you're all wrong, and wants to do it *their way.* OOH-LA-LA... WHO IS THIS KNOW-IT-ALL BIG SHOT?

10 points

Jo Ann Hardesty

Carmen Rubio

Mingus Mapps

Sir Smarty Pants Fancy Britches, the cleverest lad on city council

Clear selection

Which fancy-pantsy, high-falutin' French fashion house owes the city of Portland and Multnomah County $42,000 in taxes?

10 points

Louis Vuitton

Chanel

Hermès

Pepe Le Pew

Clear selection

A group of Portlanders with disabilities has filed a lawsuit accusing the city of failing to comply with the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) for allowing tents and other structures to occupy city sidewalks. Okay, fair enough... but interestingly the group's lawyer John DiLorenzo has been in the news recently—for what reason?

10 points

Hired private security to spy on homeless people outside an apartment he owns, and used the info to inspire a homeless sweep

He represented landlords in their failed bid to overturn the city's renter relocation ordinance

He threatened a class action lawsuit against the state for putting protective COVID mandates in place during the pandemic

All of the damn above!

Clear selection

So the Portland Police have a new way of skirting transparency when they shoot a member of the public: Saying their officers are being "doxed," and for their own safety are keeping their identities shrouded in secrecy. WHY IS THIS ANOTHER LOAD OF BALONEY?

10 points

There are already laws to protect cops from doxing... which the cops requested themselves but aren't using

There's no actual proof of "doxing"—they're just trying to preemptively scare doxers

The FBI is investigating the alleged dox suspects, and said it's okay for officers to reveal their identities

To them "doxing" means publishing the cops' names in the phone book (do they even make phone books anymore?)

Clear selection

During last week's city council meeting, Mayor Wheeler snapped at Police Chief Lovell for once again claiming that the department is too understaffed to effectively stop crimes. (OOOOH!) Which of the following did the mayor say?

10 points

"Let's stop advertising to criminals that they're going to get away with it... it's BULLSHIT!"

"Oh god, THIS again? Cry me a fuckin' river! WAH-WAH-WAH, where's my doughnut?"

"You can't stop crimes now? Ha, like you were doing such a GREAT JOB before! That's sarcasm, by the way."

"Maybe we should add another million dollars to the police budget... for DIAPERS! That's because you're acting like babies, you little baby poopy pants BABY!"

Clear selection

Whoopee! Yet another Portland-made stop motion animated flick, Wendell & Wild, is scheduled to drop on Netflix and in theaters on October 28—just in time for Halloween! 🎃 Who is the film's famous producer and screenwriter?

10 points

Guillermo Del Toro

Jordan Peele

Sam Raimi

Tim Burton

Clear selection

RELATED MOVIE-TIME QUESTION: Which of the following horror movies was NOT at least partially filmed in Oregon?

10 points

Halloweentown

Coraline

The Ring 2

Green Room

The Lighthouse

Twilight

Paranorman

The Haunting of Sarah Hardy

Clear selection

THE SUBJECTIVE QUESTION (for 20 points!): What would it take for you to forgive Chick-fil-A for all the homophobic bullshit they've pulled, and eat their chicken sandwiches?

20 points

If they gave a free sack of chicken sandwiches to every LGBTQ+ person that walked in the door, along with a note that said, "With our sincerest apologies."

If every Chick-fil-A put a 20 foot tall sign on top of their building that said "Republicans Eat Shit"

If they donated $30 from each sandwich they sell to organizations that protect abortion rights

If they opened on Sunday, and then said the following to every customer coming in the door: "Hail Satan, welcome to Chick-fil-A. May I take your order?"

If they stayed closed on Sundays, except to feed homeless people for free... you know, like maybe JESUS WOULD DO??

If the current owners sold the entire business to Ryan Gosling for 32 cents

If they used three times the amount of money spent on their fake Christian causes to fund LGBTQ+ organizations

If CEO Dan Cathy went on national television, apologized to the world for his company's abysmal behavior, and allowed 30 queers to kick him in the nutz

I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THEM, NEVAAAAAAAAARRRRR!!!!

Ummmm... actually, I'm ashamed to admit I already eat their chicken sandwiches. 😬 (This quiz is ANONYMOUS, right??)

Clear selection

FINAL QUESTION (for ZERO points): Do you like FREE PIZZA and scoring big on our weekly Pop Quiz PDX? Then sign up for our Mercury newsletters by submitting YOUR EMAIL below, and not only will you receive the newsy info you need to get a great score, you'll also be entered to win a $60 gift card for FREE PIZZA & MORE FROM THE DELICIOUS ATLAS PIZZA! What? Yesssssss! (Prizes given out monthly!)

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