Survival Styles Explorer - a NARM Self-Assessment Tool
The environment we grow up in shapes our responses to everyday experiences in the present, particularly if certain needs were not met in early life. Dr. Laurence Heller, creator of NARM, terms these tendencies 'Survival Styles,' the mechanisms we used to manage our experience. Here is an opportunity to learn about your Survival Styles at this point in your life.

To determine your Survival Style profile, answer the questions below to the best of your ability and to your best understanding of yourself. Your results will be no better than your ability to discern your own agreements and disagreements with these questions.

It is recommended that you take this self-assessment as you feel today. You could come back and take it again and answer as you might have in your younger life. In doing so you can see in what ways you have grown over the years.

At the end of the self-assessment we will ask for your first name and email so we know where to send the results. First name is optional and is for the email salutation only. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose. All data collected will be held in a Google Sheets spreadsheet accessible only by Neal Winblad, LMFT, SEP, NMP.

© 2015 Neal Winblad, Laurence Heller

By clicking below I affirm my understanding that this is not a scientifically validated psychological test and my results may or may not accurately reflect my survival styles. This self-assessment is a jumping off point in the exploration of survival styles and their effect on human beings and their relationships. Survival styles are not rigidly fixed character structures but can change over time with exploration and education. *
Required
1. I often feel like I don't belong. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
2. I often don't know what I need. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
3. One of my biggest goals is to get to the top. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
4. Other people think I'm kind and open hearted. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
5. I prefer to reject before being rejected. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
6. I' m uncomfortable in group or social situations. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
7. I fear that people will leave me. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
8. I say coming in second is losing. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
9. I have trouble setting limits and boundaries. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
10. It's important to project a good image. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
11. The world seems like a dangerous place to me. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
12. I am really good at knowing what other people need. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
13. I have no problem expressing anger at others when they deserve it. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
14. I am a very loyal friend. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
15. I strive to look flawless. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
16. Sometimes I feel like an alien. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
17. People consider me a giver and I like to give. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
18. I like to be the dominant one in the room. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
19. I am eager to please. I often say 'yes' when I really want to say 'no.' *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
20. I have a hard body and want to make it even harder. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
21. I suffer from sensitivities or multiple allergies. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
22. Everybody seems to cry on my shoulder. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
23. If someone does something nice for me they probably want something. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
24. I tend to give in to others' demands and then resent it. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
25. I work out a lot and kind of look down on those who don't. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
26. I never felt welcome in the world. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
27. I am an expert at making do with very little. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
28. Trusting others is a good way to get used. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
29. I tend to procrastinate. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
30. I thrive on being admired. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
31. Sometimes I feel like I don't even have a right to exist. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
32. Even if I know what I want, it is hard for me to ask for it. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
33. I'm a take charge kind of person. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
34. I do everything I can to keep people from being mad at me. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
35. I believe I am sexually desirable. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
36. My usual behavior is to withdraw rather than approach. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
37. I always dream(ed) of meeting my soulmate. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
38. I so hate to fail that I would do just about anything to succeed. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
39. I pride myself in being trustworthy and responsible. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
40. I am proud of being a successful person. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
41. I rarely feel safe. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
42. I don't ask for what I want because I'm afraid to deal with the rejection that might come. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
43. Fear of failure drives me. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
44. I tend to yield to others and then then want to rebel. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
45. I don't like it when people are wishy-washy. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
46. My nervous system feels like it's always on. I just can't relax. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
47. Sadness and depression are states I'm well familiar with. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
48. Winning isn't everything. It's the only thing. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
49. I see myself as a very flexible person. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
50. Sexual conquest is really exciting for me. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
51. I'm not bothered by base human emotions. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
52. The only time I express my needs is when I finally get angry enough. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
53. I believe life is a jungle -- survival of the fittest. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
54. I'm able to see all sides of any argument. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
55. On a deep level I feel so flawed. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
56. I'm rational, not emotional. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
57. I give and give and give and people just don't seem to appreciate it. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
58. I'm a natural leader. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
59. I grew up in a family where everybody believed they knew what was best for me. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
60. When I look in the mirror I always focus on my flaws and defects. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
61. Human emotions are messy and irrational and I don't need any of that. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
62. I tend to have lung and skin problems. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
63. If I'm not at the top, I'm nothing. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
64. When I say 'no' to people, I feel guilty. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
65. I'm afraid to love. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
66. I don't need human connection. I'm better off by myself. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
67. When things are going too well, I don't trust it. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
68. I get angry easily. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
69. The last thing in the world I'd ever want to do is hurt somebody's feelings. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
70. I don't know what love is. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
71. I think I have a deeper spirituality than most people. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
72. The last thing I would ever want is to need anybody. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
73. I like to use anger to intimidate. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
74. I pride myself in how much burden I can bear. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
75. Everybody else seems to know how to do relationships but I don't get it. *
Totally Disagree
Totally Agree
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