So You Want To Be A Flipside Fellow, Huh?
Now Announcing: The Flipside Summer Fellowship!

We here at the Stanford Flipside are proud to announce a thrilling new opportunity for all of Stanford’s aspiring satirists, satanists, sartorialists, satyrs, somnambulists, and serialized true crime podcast fans. Yes, that’s right—starting this year, right now, we’ll be offering a summer fellowship with our venerable fake news newspaper, and we’re reaching out to select a few elite candidates foolish enough to take up the task!

As a part of this fellowship, you will be expected to work up to sixteen hours per day in our patented “satire sweatshops” in order to churn out the most finely-tuned and delectably-tasty satire yet seen by the world’s tear-stained eyes. We are looking for idealistic yet cynical, feisty yet subdued, smart yet imbecilic young leaders who lack any real leadership experience and are willing to give their all for a life which ultimately bears no fruit (metaphorical or otherwise).

Applicants must not be affiliated with Stanford University and should be at least eighty years of age, or able to provide a valid fake ID stating as much. This is for tax reasons and has nothing to do with our gerontophilia. We promise.

Here’s what previous Flipside fellows had to say about the experience:

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And more!

In exchange for your valuable work over the summer, you will be paying the Flipside 6,000¢ (before tax) to fund our crippling dog-racing addiction. You also have to convince Marc Tessier-Lavigne to give us at least 3 units of class credit for this shit.

In addition to the primary Q&A component of the application, we ask that you write a novel of a minimum length of 50,000 words, which engages thematically with why your unconscious nightmares and sexual fantasies reveal repressed childhood trauma that controls your every action and thought. A series of limericks is also acceptable, if you would prefer that format to the novel, but the mandatory word count remains the same.

Please also provide two letters of recommendation: one from the Stanford professor or faculty member who hates you the most, and one from the last meal that you ate. Applications are due April 1st, but preference will be given to those turned in late. Direct all inquiries to president_marc@stanford.edu, and make sure you provide zero context about what the fuck you’re talking about when you ask your question.

Accepted individuals may receive Flipside swag, Flipside publication, a chance to meet the Flipside legends themselves, a photo with the fabled Musk-Man (see Issue 12-283), a slap on the back and a “ya did good, kid,” a hand-drawn self portrait, a self-drawn hand portrait, a sack of taters that survived the blight, legally-binding erasure of your public urination charges, clove garlic, forbidden knowledge, yeast you can grow bread with, and your name printed in our anals for all the world to mock.

We look forward to working you this summer!

Sally forth and suffer!

What... is your... name. *
Your answer
What's... ummm... what's your... email. *
Your answer
What... uh... whats your... whats your... ummm... how often do you... read the... uh... the Flipside. *
Hoo boy... uhh... what's your... um... Social Security... Number... oh jeez...
Your answer
Ok are you still with us?
What is one funny, topical, incisive joke you can make based on the idea that “Trump” rhymes with “dump?”
Your answer
What is sex? Describe in 100 words or less. You may not use the letter “e” anywhere in the response.
Your answer
What is this dapper gent wearing?
Captionless Image
Will you be my mom now
If, theoretically, a satirical publication were to publish a joke about, hypothetically, a quote-unquote “HOT” “fifteen year old,” do you think that would be taken well?
Make a sandwich with words (Freudian psychoanalytic response prompt)
Your answer
Is it ever appropriate to “fuck?”
Put your whole fist in your mouth. Do it.
Our robot tried to understand love and short-circuited. Describe any past experience you have with mechanical engineering or mechatronics.
Your answer
What is the best trick you can do on the Segway?
Your answer
What is the best trick that can be done on the Segway?
Your answer
If you were given a Segway and named her “Madeleine”, would you find it ethical to ram her into a door multiple times?
Your answer
We know you don’t actually wash your hands after going pee pee
Is it ever funny to fill someone’s car with yogurt and tell them you did a big sex in it? (Y/N)
If you park in a driveway and drive in a parkway, what should U.S. foreign policy be in Syria given the ongoing human rights violations, the UN charter’s explicit prohibition on most types of unilateral foreign intervention, the mixed history of regime change as an implement of statecraft, and the entangled roles of both Russia and ISIS on the ground?
Your answer
Favorite subspecies of caiman: Central American or Brazilian?
Favorite type of sand? (Y/N)
Lick the camera. C'mon, do it. We’re not watching or anything just fucking do it stop being weird
Chode.
You're a voter in the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Science. The Oscars are fast approaching. What do you choose to fuck?
If we asked you to murder Jason Seter to appease the Old Gods, would you obey without questioning? It's for the good of the community; sacrifices must be made.
Logical Reasoning Section: When pregnant lab rats are given caffeine equivalent to the amount a human would consume by drinking six cups of coffee per day, an increase in the incidence of birth defects results. When asked if the government would require warning labels on products containing caffeine, a spokesperson stated that it would not because the government would lose credibility if the finding of these studies were to be refuted in the future. Which of the following is most strongly suggested by the government's statement above?
Chode?
Transpose Beethoven’s 5th concerto into A minor
Your answer
How neat is this answer format?
Awesome
Neat
Fine
Mediocre
Rubbish
Very
Fairly
Somewhat
Minimally
Barely
Should Macriki be allowed out of her hole?
Your answer
Why shouldn't Macriki be allowed out of her hole?
Your answer
How deep is Macriki's hole?
How dark is Macriki's hole?
Does Macriki deserve to be in her hole for spitting in the eye of God?
In Season 3, Episode 24 of LOST, Charlie tells Desmond that it’s “Not Penny's Boat." Whose boat does it ultimately end up being, and why are they coming to the Island?
Your answer
If you were getting a nose job, which nose, and where would you put it?
Your answer
When Ari told Becca he loved her, did he just not mean it? I mean, what kind of a person just does that? You can't go back on your word like that, men, not when the whole world is watching.
Your answer
Seriously though, what is your SSN lol.
Your answer
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