Domestic abuse & child custody cases
This survey was created to collect data about domestic abuse and child custody cases. It is anonymous, though you can add your name and email if you want further contact. I am collecting this information for an articles about domestic abuse and will not use anyone's name or identifying information. I will publish the results of the survey. If you want more information about me, please go to
and my column Thriving in Crazy Land. And thank you for your assistance in trying to shine a light on a very important issue.
Your co-parent partner is:
You were the victim of domestic abuse by the hands of your co-parent partner:
Domestic abuse is defined as exploitive and controlling behaviors by one partner over another and can often include violence.
I'm just learning that what I experienced may have been abuse
What forms of abuse did you/do you endure by the actions of your partner?
Please check all that apply.
Hitting, pushing, grabbing
Choking, weapon injury
Threats of violence toward you
Threats of suicide
Controlling your friends, activities, social life
Controlling your finances, employment
Controlling your family involvement
Lying and manipulating the truth or withholding important information
Dismissing or ignoring your pain, injuries
Threatening to take the children away from you
Threatening to sue you
Devaluing or discrediting you to your children
Attempting to turn the children against you
Attempting to devalue you or discredit you to others
Were you or are you still married to your co-parent partner?
Are you/did you share the same home?
Have you ended this intimate relationship?
Yes or in the process now
No, but planning on it soon
How many children do you share?
3 or more
Who is seeking/sought the end of the relationship?
Do you share physical custody of your children?
If yes, how many nights a month does your co-parent partner have physical custody of your children?
Less than 30% of the time
30% of the time
50% of the time
70% of the time
More than 70% of the time
100% of the time and I am denied access to my children
Has your original custody agreement been changed by court action since your divorce?
If yes, did your co-parent partner seek a change in the custody agreement by court action?
Was a motion filed in court, a lawyer hired, or a law suit filed?
My partner hasn't but I have
Has your co-parenting partner sought any of the following 3rd-party intervention in a co-parenting issues since your separation?
Check all that apply.
Filed a motion for a hearing before a judge.
Asked for mediation by a parenting coordinator or mediator.
Filed for adjusted child support.
Has not ever involved a third party action since original custody/divorce action.
Has your co-parenting partner ever threaten you after separation using the children in the threat?
Check all that apply or check none.
Threaten to bring you back to family court if you don't do what is asked.
Threaten to withhold financial/child support.
Threaten to keep the children from you or during your scheduled time.
Threatened to harm self while with the children.
Threatened to harm the children.
Threaten to discredit you to the children.
Makes false statements about you to the children.
Creeps into your scheduled parenting time by showing up early for pick ups or dropping off late.
Repeatedly requests changes in the children's schedule.
Repeatedly ignores agreement.
Involves children in your communications or scheduling issues.
Involves other people in parenting matters against your will.
Does not include you in emergency matters, such a medical or educational issues.
Falsifies documents relating to the children, such as school documents.
Crosses boundaries in place between the two of you in the name of the children.
None of the above
Was domestic abuse presented by you as evidence in your divorce or custody matters.
I was advised by my attorney not to bring it into court.
No, because we did a no-fault divorce.
No, because I believed at the time that it wasn't necessary to bring it up.
If yes, did any authority investigate the circumstance of the abuse or allow testimony or evidence on the abuse?
If you are separated/divorced from your abusive partner, are you still being abused by this partner?
Are you receiving any trauma therapy counseling?
Has your child witnessed or been the direct victim of any physical, emotional, financial or psychological abuse by the actions of your co-parent partner?
If yes, please check all that applies.
Physical violence toward you
Physical violence toward your child
Emotional, financial, psychological abuse toward you
Emotional, financial or psychological abuse toward your child.
False information about you told to your child by your co-parent partner
Is your child receiving trauma therapy counseling?
Are you satisfied with how the legal system treated your case?
Are you satisfied with the custody arrangement?
I am living with it.
Would you like to add a comment?
Do you think reform is need in the standards of family court?
Is there anything about your situation that you would like to share?
If you would like to give your name and contact information, you may here. It will not be shared with any third party and will remain confidential.
Is there anything else you would like to say about domestic abuse and child custody?
What state was this case?
What year did your court case first begin?
Would you like to be a part of an email support group for victims of domestic violence?
If so, please add your email address here.
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