Basic Orchestra Policies and Procedures
This will be graded. Answer wisely!
What is your first name?
What is your last name?
#1. Which option sounds best? (go with your gut feeling)
CONGRATS - you just got 5 points for that last question. YAY!
#2. If you don't ride the bus over from a 9/10 campus, at what relationship to the tardy bell should you be inside BOTH orchestra doors?
Before the bell begins to ring. Almost like a pickup note to it.
In perfect unison with the bell
5 seconds after the bell rings....like a staggered bowing.
The bell doesn't matter. I'll arrive exactly 1 minute after I'm done socializing.
#3. Which answer best describes your phone's function whilst inside the orchestra room?
Something to keep my attention in the 30 seconds it takes the director to fix something in another section
A vessel in which to live tweet the rehearsal
A silent observer of my textbooks inside my bag.
#4. When is the only times your iPad should be visible to the director?
If my director visits me in another class
When requested by the director (such as right now :D)
If I'm on my way out the door to go to my next class
If it spawns wings, sneaks out of my bag, and takes flight around the room
#5. What is the only appropriate time to speak out loud during rehearsal?
When requested to do so by the director
When I just remembered something super hilarious and omg lol it is so supremely funny and I have to tell someone RIGHT NOW
To call out the person in front of me that keeps missing the ;?*%#)^@ bow lift!
When I suddenly, FINALLY remember the question I had earlier (but forgot when the director called on me) but now we've moved on to more important things...
#6. When are food, gum, and drink (other than water) allowed in ANY part the orchestra room that has carpet?
When I have some wicked Takis breath and some Dentyne Ice would really help me impress that person I'm trying to go out with
When I'm super starving and I'm somehow smarter than my director because I can keep it in my BAG, see, and then they just think I'm reaching for a pencil or something......a crunchy, noisy pencil that leaves crumbs on the floor
#7. How many times a week can you lose points for not using the correct playing position?
Twice, and no more. It's not fair to keep punishing for me for something I CLEARLY have no control over.
Five. You know the classic saying: "Fool me once, take off 5 points. Fool me twice, take off another 5 points. Fool me five times, and that's about enough."
Ten. It sounds like a lot, but you know what? I believe in high standards for myself and the LHS Orchestra.
Until my director runs out of paper and pencil lead and can't find any to borrow....or until I have zero for the week and my director has to meet my parents under less than pleasant circumstances.
#8. How many days a week do you need to bring YOUR pencil, YOUR music, and YOUR instrument?
FIVE? That can't be right. Sounds a bit controlling.
#9. What should you be doing when your director is working with another section?
Take a quick snooze
Talk with my neighbor about mundane and insignificant people, places, and things
Pull out my book for literally about 36 seconds and then scramble to get ready to play again
Silently fingering through and shadow bowing my part
#10. How often should you check the orchestra calendar at
Three times a minute
This week and at the beginning of each school week, just in case I forget something important.
Today and then never again. I have a GREAT memory.
Never. Wait, we have a website?
#11. Does the school-wide dress code apply in the orchestra room?
No. I do what I want.
Nope. My life, my rules.
OF COURSE IT DOES. Also, it is ridiculous for me to take it personally if my director sends me to the office for a dress code check.
Both yes and no at the same time. Pretty deep stuff, huh?
#12. How many points do you lose every day that you don't bring your instrument?
If I take the number of days I am in orchestra that week and divide it by 100.....BAM.....I have the answer to your question
3b x 12c = 32y
#13. With 75-90 minute orchestra classes, do you really HAVE to practice outside of the school day?
Yes. Of course. Don't be ridiculous. In class, we will be learning techniques and working on the ENSEMBLE part of our pieces. I am responsible for reinforcing that technique and knowing my own part.
No. My fingertips are fragile, you monster.
It is up to the student to decide.
Great question. It is actually decided by a coin flip. Heads, I practice; tails, I Snapchat.
#14. Which of these answers BEST describes proper bow care?
One word: Sword
Two words: Neighbor poker
Four words: The tighter, the better
Rosin, but don't over-rosin. Loosen your bow every day at the end of class. Wipe the rosin off of your instrument every day.
#15. What is the most correct plan of action when the director asks you to mark something in your music?
1) stare blankly at the director; 2) think about lunch
1) grab MY copy of the music; 2) set my music back down, having not done anything
1) grab MY copy of the music; 2) mark MY copy of the music 3) make sure my neighbor did the same
1) where am I?; 2) how did I get here?
#16. Whose instrument should you be touching?
All of the instruments in the room.
Mine. My own. My precious.
No one's. Not even my own. I'm just here to observe.
Doesn't matter who it belongs to, as long as it looks expensive.
#17. What should you wear to our formal concerts?
MALE: My SWEET purple tux that I inherited from my dad; FEMALE: Prom dress. Puffy sleeves. A fairy wand.
ALL: Tuxedo t-shirt and jeans
MALE: assigned tuxedo, purchased white tux shirt, black bow tie, black cummerbund, black dress shoes; FEMALE: assigned dress with the appropriate temporary alterations, black panty hose and black dress shoes
FEMALE: Something one of the fashion design kids made; MALE: Big fur coat and a cane with a crystal skull at the top
#18. Shoulder rests are _______________ for violin and viola students? (choose the most correct answer)
Required every day in class as part of my daily grade, even if I just lost mine last night
Big brother trying to keep us calm and obedient through proper instrument support, man. I've got some stuff you should read.
#19. What does "not starting/stopping" mean on your daily grade?
Nothing. It is meaningless, just like all grades. Stop trying to fit me into your mold, man.
I was not ready to play my instrument when the group started. It could also mean that I didn't stop when the conductor cut us off.
Oh man. I know this one. It means that.....(runs out the door)
I was not starting to talk. It could also mean that I was not stopping my talking.
#20. Fingernails have to be what length in orchestra class to be allowed to play?
Have you seen Jurassic Park? Good. Remember the Velociraptors? Like that, but longer.
As long as they "click" when I drum my fingers on a table, I'm good.
If I've clipped them recently, then they are probably close enough. I don't need you micromanaging me.
Short enough that you can use CORRECT left hand technique and your fingernail doesn't touch the string or the fingerboard.
Extra Credit - who do you think created this quiz?
Mr. Sluder, alone
Ms. Bell, alone
Mr. Sluder and Ms. Bell created the questions......then, Mr. Sluder created the "joke" answers because he somehow has the misconceived belief that he is funny....
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