Self Assessment for Empathetic Communication / Nonviolent Communication (NVC) / Compassionate Communication
The two purposes of taking this survey are to:
1. Get clarity on the skills associated with nonviolent communication (NVC)
2. Get clarity on what specific skill areas you would like to focus on developing at this time.

This self-assessment will take no more than twenty minutes to complete.
It should be completed in one sitting.

A description of each empathetic listening skill is provided, along with a summary description of the different stages of skill integration. You are asked to assess where you are at, in this moment, with the integration of each skill according to the following metric:

No knowledge of the skill.
Unconsciously incompetent.

Becoming aware of the skill.
Consciously incompetent.

Able to use the skill, with effort.
Consciously competent.

Naturally uses the skill.
Unconsciously competent.

This self-assessment is an adaptation from the "Pathways to Liberation Self-Assessment Matrix, Version 1.2" by Jacob Gotwals, Jack Lehman, Jim Manske, and Jori Manske, licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.

You will be asked to enter your email address so that a copy of your self-assessment can be sent to you for your records. Your email address will not be shared with anybody and your responses are totally confidential.

This self-assessment has provided tremendous clarity and direction for those studying non-violent communication.
Thank you for setting aside the twenty minutes it will take to complete this self-assessment. Enjoy!

Email address *
Empathy: Being present with another's experience. Holding space with gentle curiosity; listening for underlying needs. *
Self-Empathy: Being with one's own experience with presence and compassion, when triggered and otherwise. *
Observing: Objectively noticing sensory experiences and distinguishing these from interpretations and evaluations. *
Feelings Awareness: Ability to identify and experience our physical sensations and emotions. *
Feelings Ownership: Awareness and understanding that feelings are not caused by others but have an intrinsic connection to needs. *
Needs Consciousness: Awareness of universal human needs - the essential qualities of well-being. *
Making Requests: Willingness to ask for what one wants with clarity on underlying needs and openness to outcome. *
Working With Enemy Images: Transcending one's perceptions that another deserves to be punished or harmed. *
Beneficial Regret: Acknowledging and learning from one's missed opportunity to meet needs, without guilt, shame, or self-punishment. *
Receiving Feedback: Receiving other's perspective about your actions with equanimity and curiosity. *
Responding to Reactivity: Responding rather than reacting to others who are caught up in intense separating emotions. *
Gratitude and Giving Appreciation: Finding value in, appreciating, and enjoying what is. *
Relating to Obligations with Needs Awareness: Transforming "have to" into "choose to." Connecting with underlying needs in day-to-day and long-term priorities. *
Saying No: Getting to a compassionate, clear, and life-serving "no." *
Transforming Conflict: Using conflict with others as a means to connect and create an outcome with mutual understanding as the foundation. *
Flexibility in Relating: Openness and versatility in interacting with others. *
Self-Acceptance: Accepting oneself with unconditional caring. *
Honest Self-Expression: Owning one's experience and having the willingness to express authentically without blame or criticism. *
A copy of your responses will be emailed to the address you provided.
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